The Rules of Life
The Rules of Life are a set of regulations created by the Board
of Directors, who felt that it was necessary to create certain rules which people
must adhere to in order to make the world a better place. These two rules are sacrosanct
and will maintain order in the universe as long as they are upheld.
Here are the Rules
- One cannot refrain from telling any story, tale, or set of events, no matter
what the consequences, if he has said something to the effect of, "Oh, there was
this one time when I was going...nah, forget it." If one hints at knowledge which
they will not tell, they are bound by Rule #1 to relate said knowledge. This is because it
is annoying as hell when someone starts a story and then doesn't finish it.
- The "Seinfeld" Rule. One cannot tell any "you had to be there stories." This
includes telling people about scenes from movies, shows, etc. that they have not
seen. This is called the "Seinfeld" Rule because if you haven't seen an episode of
Seinfeld and someone tells you about it, it is completely unfunny. Even if the show
was hilarious for those who saw it, it is never funny when someone tells you about
it. This is true for all other shows, movies, and "you had to be there" stories.
NB: Rule #3 has been stricken from the books because it was not in accordance
with the Rules of Life doctrine. This annulment is non ex post facto, and thus
all previous prosecutions under Rule #3 remain legal.
As you can see, the Rules of Life are comprehensive and just. If you would like
to submit ideas, comments, etc. to the Board of Directors of the Rules of Life, please
send e-mail to the address below. Thank You.
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Email: mikerheaume@hotmail.com
