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It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. -Winston Churchill

Cool Poems and Quotations

This page is devoted to poems and quotations (not quotes!) that I find totally relate to life while others are just spiffy. Some are also incredably stupid, but very true. Enjoy! Oh, and be sure to check out yet another page of some more quotations and poems by clicking the link at the bottom of this page.

"The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?" -Picasso

What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on? --H. D. Thoreau (1817-1862)

It isn't pollution that's harming the enviroment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. -- Ex-Vice Pres. Dan Quayle (what WAS this guy thinking???)

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood. -- Louise Beal

There is no stronger bond of friendship than a mutual enemy. --Frankfort Moore

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. --Anonymous

Sign in cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in cafeteria." Socks, I guess, can eat anyplace they want.

Any book worth banning is a book woth reading.

Anarchy is against the law.

Everyone has the right to be stupid; some just abuse the privilege.

I used to be indecisive but now I'm not sure.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

If men run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? --Linda Ellerbee

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. --Elayne Boosler

Math is hard! --Mattel's Talking Barbie, late 1980's or 1990's, later removed from market

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened. --Winston Churchill

Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. --Mark Twain

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is therefore not an act, but a habit. --Aristotle

Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography. --Paul Rodriguez

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. --Dwight D. Eisenhower

If Today Was a Fish, I'd Throw It Back In. --Song Title

We bow to a God we've never seen, but never fails to side with me. --Primitive Radio Gods

When things like this are said, I thank God I'm an athiest. --Rob Reiner, "All in the Family"

I think that my whole life is a misprint. Either that or a typo. --Miss Fontana (Mr. Grady's student teacher, who is, I guess, on her way to being a real teacher)

I think my paranoid schizophrenia has improved my ability to be a good ruler of my fellow Aztec citizens. --Jennifer Piatak

If I owned a ceiling fan company, I would have a model called the "Dion" because then you could own the Ceiling Dion fan. You got to jump on these things when the market is hot. --Richard Marek

When all is said and done, it'll be pretty boring. --Larry Baum

They say kids will always find Christmas presents and guns. I bet if a kid is getting a gun for Christmas, they'll find it for sure, and really fast,too. --Timothy Fenton

>You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen which said, "Parking Fine." --Tommy Cooper

Who peed in YOUR gene pool?

The Dentist said my wisdom teeth were retarded.

Don't let school interfere with your education.

If wishes grew on trees, everyone would have one. But they don't, and life sucks, so you just have to stick it out and DEAL WITH IT, DAMMIT!!! --Marija, my friend

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Dead owls don't give a hoot.

If at first you don't succeed, your sky-diving days are over.

Last night as I lay in bed and looked up at the stars, I thought to myself, "Where the heck's the ceiling?!"

The hardest thing in life is to do nothing because you never know when you're finished.

Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramps.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Keep your eyes on the stars, but don't be surprised if you step on a banana peel.

"Things can't get much worse" is often more a wish than a statement of fact.

"Mistakes" is the name we often give our experiences.

The only sure thing about luck is that it will change. -Bret Harte

One man's folly is another man's wife. -- Helen Rowland

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they get mad, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes! -- My friend Paula quoting Dave Barry (Thank you Alison!)

e. e. cummings

maggie and millie and molly and may
went down to the beach (to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles, and

millie befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles; and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea

Si hoc legere potes, nimis eruditionis habes. (I just love Latin!)

I can assume anything I want to because I'm big. -- Mr. Grady (my English teacher)

I majored in English and minored in shortbread. -- My Mom

Raisins are just a waste of grapes. --Cherise

In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal.

Plan to spontaneous tomorrow.

No matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

He who places head in sand, will get kicked in end.

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me!

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. --Dick Cavet

An optimist is a person who doesn't understand the enormity of the problem.

I am both of us, and so are you.

It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.

I improve on misquotation. --Cary Grant

Yet Some More Cool Quotations and Poems

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