It's been a while. I guess I could make excuses that I've
been busy, unenergized. All true. I've been trying to channel
my energy to other aspects of life, too, besides the Internet.
I started walking after work (whoo hoo!) so I can finally
lose a little weight and feel better, and I've been brushing
up on my piano playing and learning the guitar.
I need change. I'm pretty sick of this normal, everyday
get up and go to work crap. My job is dispicable. Between
the sexist comments from my boss and that asshole who said
the whole thing about the skirt, I have no desire to go to
work in the morning. I'm filing for sexual harrassment, but it's
not the easiest thing. It seems to be dragging in the
process. The compliance officer is also a lawyer outside
of her job at the college, so she is incrediby busy. But I
don't want to let that episode slide. I'm so uncomfortable at
work, and if I ever had to deal with the "offender"
professionally, I couldn't. The barrier of respect was
broken.
So, I've been actively looking for another job. I feel kind
of weird about it because I started working there only
five months ago, so I don't want it to appear to other
prospective employers that I jump around from job to job.
But I am entitled to at least feel comfortable in my work place.
Maybe I'm not in the right field. I do get stressed out
when I have to write a story or a press release under deadline.
My energy is just drained when I get home from work.
Thankfully, walking with two really great women has helped me shed the stress and laugh
off my boss's ridiculousness. They think he's a slouch, too. I'm just
sick of tip-toeing around his moods. My last boss was like that,
and she made everyone miserable.
Before Christmas I was thinking about role models and if
I've ever had one. Since I really had to think about it,
that pretty much says I've never had one. But one of the women,
Mary, with whom I walk, is definitely a role model. SHe
and I have a bond that we both detected in my first week at the job.
She works in the office next to mine. I asked, and I
think I received. It's exciting, almost like a new romance. I just need
someone I can look up to right now.
J. and I had a very nice Christmas, though it seems so
long ago. He never ended up going anywhere with the Marines,
so all the worry was for nothing I guess. J. got so
excited about waking up in the morning together, giving
Caesar the Cat his presents, and just starting this new
life together. The day was nice, despite the fact that
the night before, when he was supposed to get out of work and
meet me at my dad's, he fell asleep after work and never
showed at my dad's.
Though, his no-show might have been
in the stars, because I saw my ex, Travis, at church and
reconciled with my emotions for him. I was definitely
hanging on to this weird idea of Travis, that our love
was still hanging out there on a tree. No one could
reach it; it would just flap back and forth on a dead
branch forever. We hugged, he hasn't changed, and talked
a little. He's what Erin and I call SUAVE=A real
fake dickwad. I wished him luck, and thanked God I looked
fantastic that night, and drove away...literally. Yeah, the
love will still flap around on the dead branch, but
Jason and I have proverbial planted a new tree.
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