My little Rollerskate got smooshed. This asshole I'm-hipper-than-you kid backed up into my car while I was inching toward another parking space in the lot in front of my apartment! In *front* of my apartment! What is that cliche about most accidents happening only yards from your home? So, I guess I'm looking at $1000+ in repair. Happily, it will come out of his mommy and daddy's insurance! Dipshit.

And I had had such a nice day before that happened. I went for a walk around Amherst, though drizzley, and picked up three used CDs at Mystery Train: Nancy Griffith "Flyer," Bruce Hornsby "Hot House," and Michael Hedges "Oracle." I also settled into my book, John Irving's A Widow for One Year while at Starbucks.

I was so inspired by Irving's character planning out how she will write her next novel, that I too began to feel like a writer again. I wanted to know everything about the people sitting around me, and why they were so intriguing to me at that moment. I felt like the Muse was actually contacting me again, leading me toward developing my own characters and following them around my plot. I had composed a journal entry on the brown paper Mystery Train bag, and was going to enter it here when I got home. (Eventually I'll add it).

To add to my accident, J. and I got in a huge fight last night. This one was bigger and deadlier than I have ever fought with him. It started when we were at a great party for some friends of his who I really enjoyed being around. But it was getting late for a "work night" (11pm on weeknights and Sundays I turn into a pumpkin) and I wanted him to take me home. He wanted either me to drive myself home and he'd find a ride, or he would drive me home and come back. I wanted him to stay with me through the night. I sleep better when he's next to me, plus it makes me feel like shit to know that he's choosing to party with friends over staying with me. Well, I told him that if that's what he thinks is right, he's not ready to be engaged and I'd call the engagement off. We ended up on the floor in our living room sobbing. Though it was much later than I wanted to be up that night, he and I went for a walk and talked. He agreed last night to get therapy (because there's so much more that went on in his childhood that is still really deep inside him) and tomorrow I'm meeting with a friend of mine who is a Lutheran minister with Universalist beliefs for "pastoral counciling."

Please, I need positive energy my way.