The trial of the century was about to begin ...
Rufferto, the dog turned were-lawyer, must defend Cole, the Gnat King, in the fiercest battleground of all -- the court of law!
The accuser was none other than the most powerful ruler in the land -- King Beeby! The charge was none other than the most serious charge that exists -- treason! To further complicate the already complex matter, King Beeby's lawyer was none other than the slickest prosecutor that the court had ever seen -- Lewie, whose legal prowess has earned him the nickname "Sharkey".
Bam! - Bam! - Bam! pounded Judge Mason's gavel. "Court is now in session. Cole, the Gnat King, vs. King Beeby, the ruler of the land of Jaz. Wait! Where is Scribe, the official recorder of the court proceedings?" Judge Mason asks.
The court bailiff answers, "Scribe is unable to be in court. He is recovering from his injuries."
"What injuries?" inquires the inquisitive judge.
"Scribe is an outdoor person who loves rabbits. At his summer home in the city of Nihon, there are rabbits here, there, and everywhere. He draws them, eats them, plays with them ..." the bailiff proclaims.
"Sooo?" the inquisitive judge inquires.
"This time, against sound advice, he played leapfrog with a unirabbit ..." proclaims the bailiff.
"Ouch!!" the courtroom echoed, gritting their teeth ...
"Who can we get to replace Scribe?" enunciates the judge.
"How about Scribes friend, Maark, who is ever near to Scribe. He is also widely known as 'Weaver', the teller of tall tales. Or is it the tall teller of tales? It is one or the other," the bailiff enunciates.
"Find him and bring him in." commands the judge.
A short while later, the bailiff drags in Maark, kicking and screaming ... "I am innocent, not guilty, and most importantly,I did not do it!" Maark pleads.
"You are not on trial. We need someone to be the official recorder of the court proceedings. Can you write?" the judge asks.
"Barely." Maark answers.
"That is good enough. The people of the court can barely read. Court will now proceed. Cole, the Gnat King, how do you plead to the charge of treason?" the judge asks.
Cole, knowing that his fate and the rest of his life rests solely in the hands of his brand new lawyer, who has never tried a case, nervously stands up. "N-n-not guilty, your honor," answers Cole. Cole then collapses back into his seat.
"The defence will now proceed with its opening remarks," orders the judge.
Rufferto nervously stands up, shakingly walks over to the jury, and says, "H-h-he is innocent, not guilty, and most importantly, he did not do it!"
"The prosecution will now proceed with its opening remarks," orders the judge.
Sharkey confidently stands up, strides over to the jury, and articulates, "Flickus, flackus, fumdeedledum! (Which is legal language for 'How can you prove that?') He's guilty, guilty as sin, and we're going to win. We will substantiate the claim, and then fix the blame. You will know what the evidence will show."
"Bring in the first person to testify," orders the judge.
"This is Maark, the tree cutter, who saw Cole, the Gnat King, sleep with the King's wife, cannabalize the King's children, turn the King's private guard (and his pet cat) into werewolves ..." states the bailiff.
"Wait!" commands the judge. "We already have another person named 'Maark' in the courtroom. Can there be two of them? How can we distinguish between the two? Hmm ..." ponders the judge.
Because the court records require positive identification, the judge says, "The court records require positive identification. What kind of trees do you cut?"
"Fir trees, your honor." the tree cutter replies.
"Henceforth, from now on the tree cutter will be known as Maark Firman, and Scribe's friend, who is ever near to Scribe will now be known as Maark Evernear," orders the judge. "Proceed with your testimony."
Maark Firman proceeds to recant the tale of treachery accomplished by Cole, the Gnat King. The jury and the audience are mesmerized and shocked as the events are recounted. How could someone betray the trust of a man so noble as King Beeby in so vile a manner as this someone has done? Everyone was horrified!!
Knowing that Cole, the Gnat King, was indeed guilty, while Maark Firman was recounting the truth to the shocked and horrified jury and audience, Rufferto knew that things weren't going too well. But Rufferto had been a psuedo lawyer for more than a few hours now, and his mind was beginning to turn corrupt. "How can we discredit Maark Firman?" he thought.
Rufferto turns to Cole, the Gnat King, and asks, "Do you know Maark Firman?"
"Yes, I have seen him in the village and the outskirts of the forest. He is a hard working man with a wife, two kids, and a dog named Arfetto. He is also a kind, generous man who helps the poor," replies Cole, the Gnat King.
"That is not good. Do you have any dirt on him?" Rufferto asks Cole.
"Oh no, not at all. Everyone loves him. He worked hard at his previous job, even though his boss was a madman who never paid him," replies Cole, the Gnat King.
"That is not good. Does he have any mental problems? Is he slow of mind?" Rufferto askes Cole.
"What does that mean -- slow of mind? No, he has a keen, sharp mind. He reads the classic Marginal Literatures," replies Cole, the Gnat King.
"That is not good. Does he have any health problems?" Rufferto asks Cole.
"No. He is the pinnacle of health. He is a tree cutter. He works out and runs marathon races in his spare time," replies Cole, the Gnat King.
"That's it!!!" Rufferto says with a grin from ear to ear, while drooling.
After Maark Firman concludes his testimony, the jury and the audience are in an uproar!
"Order! Order in the court!" Bam! - Bam! - Bam! pounds the judge's gavel. "Mr. Sharkey, proceed with your cross examination," states the judge.
Sharkey smugly stands up and saunters over to the jury. "If I have my way, the traitor will pay. Clunkus, bunkus, spunkus! (Which is legal language for 'It is the law!') The jury and audience roars with approval!
"Mr. Rufferto, proceed with your cross examination." states the judge. "And make it quick, so we can string up Cole at sundown!"
Rufferto confidently stands up, strides over to Maark Firman, and shouts accusingly, "Mr. Firman, is it true that you're a racist?!?"
Maark Firman, who runs marathon races in his spare time, answers, "Yes."
*** GASP!!! *** the audience gasps in horror!!!
"But, but, I meant ..." Maark Firman stammers ...
"You framed my client, Cole, the Gnat King, because you hate gnats!!" Rufferto shouts accusingly before Maark Firman has a chance to explain. The jury and the audience are in an uproar more than ever!!!
Bam! - Bam! - Bam! pounds the judges gavel. "Order! Order! Order in the court!" orders the judge to no avail. Nothing can can calm down the jury and the audience. Bam! - Bam! - Bam! - Bam! - Bam! - Bam!
Much later, when the jury and the audience are finally exhausted (and therefore calmed down), the judge says, "This trial must not get out of hand again. It will make me look bad. Oops, I mean, it will not be good for justice. There will be no more testimonies. The jury will be sequestered until they reach a verdict ..."
What will be the verdict? Will Cole, the Gnat King, who is guilty of treason, be convicted of treason? Will Rufferto win his first case? Will Rufferto ever revertback to his normal self? And what of Groo?!?
All this and more in the next exciting episode!!!
Next up:
Chapter 10 by Gary Grossmann
THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE
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