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Groop Round Robin Story #2


Chapter Six by Tracy Parrow a/k/a Unirabbit

THE HORSE SLAYERS, THE WEREWOLVES, AND BOHDID LI'S BOOGEY-WOOGEY GOLEM

Chakaal and Arcadio hefted their weapons ready to strike; the lead horse was almost upon them.

"I never wanted to be known as a 'slayer of horses'" Chakaal grumbled sourly.

The horse came on, a sword flashed in the moonlight, a wild howl was heard, and a large black wolf with a rather strange bulbous nose leaped upon the horse and bore it to the ground mere moments before the sword struck it's target. Horses screamed, wolves howled, and Arcadio and Chakaal looked on in amazement as a pack of wolves bore down the horses and proceeded to dine (in a rather messy and sticky way).

The lead wolf (the ugly one) ripped a hunk of horse flesh from the neck of the poor, innocent, downed steed, trotted over to the pot of bubbling cheese dip, dipped the horse flesh in, and devoured it with a beatific expression on his rather homely face. He dragged the dead horse over and poured the entire contents of the pot of cheese dip on it. He then proceeded to devour the horse, as he whined with pleasure over every bite.

The other wolves devoured their kills (sans cheese dip). Arcadio and Chakaal looked on in wonder.

"This is most fascinating," said Arcadio, "If I had not seen it with my own beautiful eyes, I most certainly would not have believed it."

"Strange how the ugly wolf by the cheese dip looks familiar." commented Chakaal, as the ugly lupus licked the cheese dip pot clean and loudly belched.

The head wolf licked himself just below the base of his tail, trotted up to Chakaal and thrust his nose between her legs in a friendly gesture. "Woof!" He intoned happily.

The other wolves, having finished their meals were lying around the carnage, and were licking themselves clean. Tabi, the cat-wolf was licking her front paw and passing it over her snout.

"Now what, 'Leader'", she said as Groo-wolf was attempting to wrap his forelegs around Chakaal's thigh.

"Huh?" Groo-wolf looked over at the pack as Chakaal smacked him over the head with her fist.

"Are we going to continue looking for Bohdid Li and get the master's Shades back?"

"Oh, uh, er, okay," GFroo-wolf said as Chakaal kicked him in the ribs, "Ummmm....How?"

"I move that we use our olfactory units in an attempt to locate the aroma of the Shades of the Blue Jakes, the existence we heretofore have been informed of by his honor, the master," intoned Fenris, Lawyer-Wolf.

"Yes, let's use our o-fart-ry numbnuts....well, what he said," said Groo, and at his bidding, the large black wolves with green glowing eyes left Arcadio and Chakaal (amidst the carcasses of dozens of bloody, dead horses) with their noses in the air.

* * * * *

"Fools!" exclaimed Bohdid Li, as he removed a pair of dark colored spectacles from his face.

"What's all the flack, Jack?" asked Pholjer Kawphee, a flat headed, hideously sewn together manlike creature, who was also chock full of nuts and bolts.

"Stop it! stop talking like that!" snarled Bohdid Li to his creation, "You know it drives me crazy!"

"Whatever you say man, c-o-o-o-o-o-o-l." said Pholjer, snapping his fingers to a tune only he could hear.

"I am sitting on the horns of a dilemma," intoned the mage. He stood up , picked up a set of antlers from his seat, and set them aside. "Ahhhhh, that's better." he said as he reseated himself.

"Who's the fool, cool cat?" asked Pholjer, as he shook his booty around the room.

"Some fool werewolves. Ha! The cretins think they can get the Shades of the Blue Jakes from me!"

"Groovy, man!" said the golem, as he swiveled his plaid clad hips.

"Stop it! Stop talking like that!"

* * * * *

"Ouch!"

"Ow! Oh!"

"Okay! Okay! Stop it! We'll talk!"

"Second rate monster-wrangler, indeed." snorted the Gnat King, Cole, as he dismissed the bevy of mosquitos with a flick of his little finger.

"You know, your father would never have done this to us." said Arba.

"Yeah, the old King Cole, well, face it, he was a merry old man." said Dakarba.

"And he had these three talented violinists." said Arba.

"Enough about my father!" snapped the Gnat King, "I have a problem which needs to be addressed now! This werelawyer is going to be turned back into a dog at sunrise. I need to keep that from happening."

Arba and Dakarba both looked at the young freckle-faced lawyer, who was busy scribbling something on a stack of lined yellow vellum, approximately 8-1/2 inches by 14 inches in size.

"The laws of lycanthropy are not something we specialize." admitted Dakarba, "If this were a regular werewolf, maybe we could do something. But in order to affect a werelawyer, you need someone proficient in bureaucratic wizardry."

"You mean..." said Arba.

"GRATIVO" whispered Dakarba.

"WHO DARES DISTURB ME?" thundered a loud voice. Before anyone could answer, a small single-horned rabbit stood where Dakarba had been only mere seconds ago.

"WHO'S NEXT?" snarled the sinister sorcerer.

* * * * *

Captain Ahax finished giving his brand new ship the once over. "Hah!" he chortled, "No sign of Groo, and I'm about to cast off!"

The lines were cast, and the ship began to slowly move from the pier. Captain Ahax stood on deck, a pleased smile on his face. Loud howls were heard, and as Ahax turned to shore, a pack of large black wolves with glowing green eyes hurtled down the dock and leaped onto the ship.

© 1998 Tracy Parrow


Next up:
Chapter 7 by Jason Wade
RHYME AND TREASON

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