Dawson's alarm rudely awoke him from his less than peaceful slumber the next morning. The day had finally come. He could hardly believe where he was and what he was doing. Only a short while ago he was blissfully ignorant. He didn't love Diane, but he had started to grow accustomed to the idea that maybe love just wasn't in the cards for him... Especially not the kind of love he once had. That was once in a life time love... It had been so long now, and he hadn't been sure that he'd ever see Joey again. He had taken the cowards way out, he knew, and tried to forget her. But it was all in vain because Joey Potter was unforgettable.
He rubbed his eyes tiredly and switched off the alarm. Sitting up in bed, he quickly located his reading glasses and pulled the all too familiar scrap of paper from it's place tucked securely in a drawer in the old nightstand by his hotel bed.
Dawson smoothed out the crumpled paper between his fingers and reread the words again. He had memorized it by about the tenth reading, but he still couldn't put the piece of paper down. The article was all he knew of her and her life now. And the picture...he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. She had always taken his breath away and despite the years apart, he knew her features like the back of his hand. Her face was forever etched into his memory. Her ghost would always haunt him.
"My Joey," he whispered, eyes misting over. Once again fear and doubt crept into his head, most unwelcome. What if this was a mistake? Losing her once when he needed her the most had almost broke him. He didn't think he could handle it again. Maybe the Dawson Leery he was ten years ago could have, but not the man he was now. It was just too damned hard.
He had discussed this many times with Diane after that day when all the memories came crashing back into his life. He had been through a tremendous amount of pain, and she was concerned this might only inflict more. They talked for hours and she sat by his bed, underneath the painting by Joey, tenderly stroking his hair as he let it all go. He told her all about Joey...how much he loved her, and how he had lost her... Diane listened patiently although it broke her heart to have her fears realized. There had always been something underneath the surface that kept him from letting her into his heart, and now she understood. He could never love another because he had never stopped loving in the first place.
Dawson was doing much better for himself than he had been a few years prior...but still each day was a painful battle sometimes. He didn't have much money, not that it had ever mattered to him though. He had definitely learned what was most important in life, and money was at the bottom of the list for him. All the money in the world didn't erase the memories, and it didn't bring people back... With a choice between love and money, he'd go for the love every time. As for a career, he was just beginning. He had never finished college after everything happened, and he sort of went from one odd job to the next in between therapy. Now, his long forgotten dreams of being a filmmaker were slowly creeping back to him. It felt good to have ambition and purpose again. He would never be as passionate about it as he had been before...but it was a start. Dawson had enrolled himself in a few classes at a nearby film school. Maybe things would turn out okay after all. He didn't have much to offer Diane or anyone else for that matter, but he could offer Joey the one thing he did have-his undying love.
With a renewed optomism, Dawson quickly jumped out of bed, showered, shaved, and prepared to leave. He didn't know New Bern, NC very well so he bought a map on the way out of the hotel. He had discovered from the phonebook in his room that Joey lived only four blocks away.
Sitting behind the wheel of his rental car, Dawson took a deep breath. He hadn't been this close to her for years. It didn't matter if they were in a strange town though... They were together, finally. And that's all he cared about.
Following the map, Dawson quickly navigated his way through what looked like to be the wealthier part of town. He had known she was doing good for herself, from reading the article, but he hadn't expected this. He felt a sudden burst of happiness and pride for her. He had known Joey when she was crudely referred to as "creek trash." He was glad that she had been able to overcome that label. He had never doubted her potential and talent.
Dawson turned down her road and his chest tightened... Something stirred deep within him, and he could feel how close she was.
"Dawson, don't make promises you can't keep," she tearfully whispered, clutching his naked torso close to hers. She could feel his heartbeat next to her ear. It was the most peaceful sound she had ever heard, and it calmed her to know that he was here with her now. All they had was tonight and right now time stood still for the lovers.
"I won't. I'm not now... Joey, I will always be with you. Our love is so deep that it connects us and I can feel you no matter where I am, or where you are," he responded softly, kissing the top of her head.
She turned to look up at him through wide eyes. "But how... I just don't--"
"Shhh... Close your eyes," he whispered, caressing her bare shoulder soothingly. "Do you feel me?"
She frowned, "Of course I feel you. You're touching me."
He was silent for a moment before responding.
"Can you feel me now? Don't focus on anything but us. Think about how close we are right now, and commit that to memory...Every word we've said to each other, every place we've been together, every movie night for the past ten years of our lives, every place we've touched each other, every time we've said 'I love you,' every dance we've danced, every time we've watched ET together, everytime we've held each other through the tough times in life, every time we've kissed... Think of all of that and more. Commit us to memory. Anytime you need me, remember these things. I love you so much. You are my world, Joey."
Dawson trembled slightly as he finished. He believed and meant every word that he said, but the idea of losing her like he had lost his family was almost enough for him to break down sobbing uncontrollably. But he had her now, and he wasn't going to let anything spoil that. He took a deep breath and removed his hands from her shoulders.
"Can you feel me now?"
Joey's mouth broke out into a happy smile. "Yes, I can feel you Dawson." She opened her eyes and pulled him close to her, never wanting to let go.
"I'll always feel you," she murmured, kissing him softly.
He wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'll always feel you too, Joey."
And it was true...he could still feel her inside his heart, and every part of his soul. It's what had brought him back. Now, as he pulled into her driveway, she slowly came into focus, and into his life, again.
She was even more beautiful than he remembered, and the picture from the article didn't do her justice. She was dressed in a painting smock and jogging shorts with firewood piled up in her arms. When she saw a car pull into the driveway she stopped short and turned around to see who it was.
Dawson turned off the engine and stepped out of the car, as the firewood tumbled into the powdery white snow.
Dawson Leery and Joey Potter, together again after ten long years, so different now, hopeful yet scared... Could their love have survived the test of time?
***
email: Dcreeker@bigfoot.com
