Thanks to Tammy and Kit on this part. <<Hugs>>
This part is rated PG-13
***
The next morning Dawson woke up to find Joey missing. He wasn't too concerned until last night's occurrences came rushing back to him. He pulled back the covers quickly, and not even bothering to put on pants, he jumped out of bed and took off down the hall.
"Joey!" he yelled.
Dawson looked downstairs and could see his parents making out on the couch. Mitch and Gail quickly broke away from each other and hurriedly fixed their hair and clothing.
"Morning, Dawson. Uh, anything I can help you with?" Mr. Leery looked up at his teenage son, while wiping his wife's lipstick off of his cheeks and lips.
Any other morning this site wouldn't have grossed out Dawson or ticked him off. He was usually actually happy to see his parents once again humping each other on the coffee table. Mitch and Gail had finally been able to get past her affair and learn how to love and most importantly, trust, each other again. Dawson had been so relieved that his family wasn't going to break up...But this morning Dawson was so on edge, he would have yelled at a defenseless old lady, or flipped out over the smallest thing.
"Will you two ever stop!!? My God! Can you go for one second without humping each other?! I mean, do you have any idea how disgusting it is for me to come home from school and find mom's bra across the room and you having a hard-on, dad? Why can't you act like normal parents for a change!" Dawson screamed, throwing his hands up in the air. In frustration he raked his fingers through his thick, blonde mass of hair.
Mitch cast a glance his wife's way and instead of chewing out their son, they gazed sympathetically at him. Only one thing could get Dawson so upset and they both knew it.
"Oh My God. What's wrong with Joey?" Gail asked, walking over to stroke her son's hair.
He pushed her hand away. Dawson sighed and walked away in frustration. He walked in his room and closed the door behind him. Looking around his room all he could see and think of was Joey. He inhaled deeply and her scent entered his nostrils. She was a part of his room, just like she was a part of him.
They had grown up in this room. They had played childish games like Jaws in his closet. He loved growing up with Joey. He could picture her on the bed next to him, analyzing yet another film. That perfect crooked smile that could only be hers would creep upon her face when they bantered back and forth. Dawson knew what buttons to push with her, and she had practically memorized his. Joey knew him inside and out. She had climbed up into his window for so many years, and somehow she had climbed into his heart too.
He could still remember her high pitched laugh when he would tickle her on the bed. Just like last night So much was the same between them, but so much had also changed.
Cancer. Dawson knew that there was hope if she did have it, but it still terrified him. He was nothing without Joey. Who would analyze movies with him? Who would make him smile? Who would keep his head out of the clouds? Who would kiss his lips, and so innocently seduce him? No one. He didn't want anyone else to do those things for him. He wanted Joey. He wanted Joey always and forever. A single tear began to trail down his cheek as he looked out across the creek from his window. He angrily wiped it away and clenched his fist.
Why Joey?
***
The hot water just wasn't hot enough. Joey wanted it to wash over her body everywhere, as if wiping away the pain, fear, and anger she felt. She let the scorching water drip down over her face. It made her feel a little better. All she wanted was to feel numb.
Joey sighed, realizing that she had been in the shower for over 40 minutes. Bessie was going to come looking for her soon. Her sister was working at the Icehouse today but had a long break in about an hour or so. Joey reached for the shampoo and began to suds up her hair. She tried to keep her mind on the task at hand. Letting her mind wander was too painful. She didn't want to think about"it." After having suds up her hair she rinsed it out, once again letting the water numb her as it pounded against her body.
Automatically Joey then reached for her razor and lifted her arms over her head. She shaved under her left arm and then washed away the little hairs. After washing out the blade she returned it to the other underarm and started to shave. Joey almost dropped the razor realizing that she had to shave under her right arm. The place where she had found the lump.
Joey felt like putting her hand through a wall. This was not fair! Why did this have to happen to her? She sighed and bit her lower lip, fighting back the fear...fighting back the tears. She cautiously began to shave the area around the lump. Joey's hand was shaking so badly, and the next thing she knew was that there was blood on her razor. She threw down her razor and turned the water on high. Sobbing without any kind of relief, she sank to the bottom of the tub and sat on the floor of it while hugging her feet with her hands.
***
Gail Leery was going to be very pissed off at her son. Dawson's frantic pacing had worn a big hole into the carpet. He was going insane. He couldn't stand not knowing if Joey was alright.
Dawson glanced at the clock on his nightstand. He had to be at work in thirty minutes. He knew he should go to work. He only had a few more weeks left before he was a starving college kid. He vowed to go to work.
Dawson walked over to his closet and started to pull his shirt over his head. He stopped abruptly, remembering last night's events when Joey had climbed through the window, catching him in the same state of undress. She had kissed him with so much passion and love. He had wanted to make love to her right then, but they had just fooled around and kissed. He furrowed his brow, thinking about how happy he had been. That had been before they found the lump Life just wasn't fair. He wanted things to go back to the way they were. He wanted Joey to be okay.
Dawson looked at the clock again. Twenty minutes till he had to be at work. He should go. Yeah, he should go
Dawson glanced out across the creek again.
"Fuck it," he muttered as he pulled back on his shirt and ran out of his room.
***
It was hot. Very hot. Too hot. Joey had gotten her wish. She sure felt numb.
The water had continued to pour down on her. Joey had sobbed so heavily she could barely move to shut it off. Now she felt like she was suffocating, because the steam filled the room and made it hard to breathe. She put her hand under her arm and felt the lump again. She bit her bottom lip and tried not to cry again.
It was no use.
***
"Jo?" Dawson knocked on the door. Bodie's truck was gone which meant he and Bessie had probably gone to the Icehouse for work. He pounded on the door harder. "Joey? Are you in there?"
He placed his ear to the door. It wasn't a big house, so he could hear the water from the bathroom running. Something in Dawson's gut told him that Joey was in trouble. He jiggled the lock on the door a few times. Damn, it wouldn't budge.
Dawson backed up a few steps and threw all his weight at the door. The only thing that occurred from that was a pain shooting up and down his left arm. He shook out his arm and walked away from the steps. He ran around the house to Joey's window. She had gotten her own room about 2 years ago, when business at the Icehouse had increased. The window was cracked a little bit. Dawson found a chair to stand on and hoisted his body up into the window. He fell to the floor with an "oomph," but quickly got up and wiped himself off. He looked around Joey's room a moment before rushing down the hall.
"Joey?" he called, knocking on the bathroom door. "Are you okay?" When there was no reply Dawson knew something was wrong. He jiggled the door and it opened. She hadn't locked it.
"OH MY GOD! JOEY!" Dawson fought his way through the steam and pushed back the curtain. She sat curled up in a ball in the corner of the tub. Her long brunette hair was tangled all around her face. Her face had a look of absolute sadness. Dawson could feel his heart breaking for her.
He quickly turned off the water and grabbed a towel from the towel rack beside the door.
"Here, Jo. Dry yourself off." Dawson handed her the towel. He had seen her nude before, but didn't think that she would want him to look at her right now.
Joey nodded, still feeling numb. She wrapped it around herself and he held out his hand to her. She slowly stepped out of the tub. Dawson wrapped her in his arms, hugging her fiercely.
"God, Jo, are you alright? What happened to you?" he pulled out of the embrace and went to look in her eyes. Joey's cheeks were pink. Dawson quickly put his hand to her forehead. She was burning up.
"Jo! You're burning up. Take off that towel. You're getting back in the tub. You need to cool down right now!" Dawson moved past her to run some ice cold water from the showerhead. Once it was cold enough he looked back at her anxiously. She still hadn't said a word.
"Joey! You have to get in the shower now. I know you probably don't want to, but you have to, Jo." He placed his hands on her hips, and pulled her toward the tub.
"No, Dawson" she began hoarsely. Joey looked like she was going to pass out again.
"You're one hell of a stubborn woman, you know that?" Dawson began to pull his shirt over his head.
"I'll get in with you, if you want. Okay? Just get in there now, please, Jo."
She did as he said as he busily went about undressing himself. Dawson carefully placed his clothes on top of where Joey had left hers, and then he stepped into the tub. Joey had her arms tightly wrapped around herself, in the back corned of the bathtub.
"You have to get under the water, Joey. Don't you understand? Look, I'm under the water." Dawson shivered as the freezing water hit his shoulder blades. He had left his boxers on so that she wouldn't feel to awkward,and also a little because he didn't want to get turned on at the fact that he and Joey were showering together He didn't want to think about that. All he cared about was Joey feeling better.
Joey cautiously stepped toward him and he couldn't help but reach out to hold her. He put his arms around her and held her as close as humanly possible. "Joey, it'll be okay. Just don't go fainting on me again. My heart can't take another shock today."
She nodded, feeling a little better. The water was very cold, but after being under the hot water for almost an hour the water icy water was very welcome. She slung her arms around his waist and rested her head against his shoulder. Dawson smoothed the hair away from her face and kissed her forehead lightly.
***
After the shower, Dawson was freezing cold. Joey's body temperature was back to normal, and she seemed to be very happy to see him, so that's all that mattered to him. But she noticed the way his teeth chattered as he had carried her back to her room. It was summertime and warm outside, but that didn't help. Joey dressed quickly, ignoring the little blood that was still under her arm, and sat back down on her bed, kneeling behind him. Dawson had changed back into his clothes, but his boxers were soaking wet, so he was doing without them for the meantime.
She kneeled up high enough behind him, so that she could run her arms up and down across his arms and chest, to warm his body. She placed warm kisses on his neck and arms, while running her hands through his hair.
"That any better?" she asked.
He still felt like he was living in an igloo, but tried to act tough about it. "I told you Joey, I'm fine" his teeth chattered as he spoke.
"Fine my ass." Joey whipped her shirt over her head and pulled off her shorts. She got off the bed, leaving him staring at her, and pulled back the covers. It was summertime so she only had a sheet and light comforter on her bed, so Joey had to retrieve a blanket from her closet.
"Come on, get in. I'll warm you up."
Dawson suddenly wished that he had his boxers right now. It was an innocent request, he knew.but this was Joey. His girlfriend, his love, his best friend, his lover, under the covers smiling up at him. "Joey, uh,"
She sat up and looked at him, glued to his seat. She glanced down at the slight bulge in his pants. "C'mere my horny hero," she smiled and pulled him back on top of her.
Soon Dawson's shirt was history too. And he was definitely warming up. He trailed hot sucking kisses across her collarbone as his hands roamed her chest. He drew lazy circles around her navel and stomach muscles, as he slid one finger underneath the silky fabric of her bra and his lips continued downwards. She could feel how hot he was for her. And she was equally hot for him. But...
His right hand unhooked the bra and he prepared to caress the soft, beautiful flesh that would be revealed to him. She moaned his name hoarsely, and Dawson brought his lips up to hers for a passionate kiss, as he pushed back the fabric of her bra. As soon as she felt his hand squeeze her left breast softly she shot up off the bed.
Dawson needed a few moments to regain train of thought, and then he pushed back the already messed up covers and went over to sit by Joey, who was shaking on the edge of the bed.
"Joey?" he questioned softly. What had happened?
"I'm fine, Dawson." She answered stoically.
He sighed and pushed back her hair. "Okay, you're fine. Well if you are, then tell me what the hell happened in the shower."
She looked around the room, focusing anywhere but on him. Dawson waited. He didn't want to push Joey. She had gone through so much last nightand although he felt as much pain as she didhe could never know how it actually felt to be her.
"I, I freaked out Dawson. I was shaving my underarms and I realized that the 'thing' was there, and I couldn't shave around it And then I saw blood and I felt absolutely numb. It was the way I wanted to feel but I was so hot Dawson. I could barely breathe." She welcomed his embrace as he put his arm around her and pulled her into his lap.
"Dawson I'm so scared I don't know what to do...I wish that"
He stroked her hair and swallowed down the lump in his throat. "You wish what?"
She sighed and began to cry. He held onto her tightly as she weeped, and he thanked God that she was here in his arms right now. She sniffled and wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder.
"You wish what, baby?"
She took a deep breath as she replied.
"I wish my mother was here."
***
