***
"Hey D-man. Are you okay? You just put ET in the 'new rentals' section. Now I know there must be something wrong." Pacey laughed, but looked concernedly at his friend.
Dawson snapped his head up. "What?" he looked down at the video in his hand and felt himself choke up. Of all the ironies...
"Hello Dawson? You here with me bro? Hey, seriously what's wrong?" Pacey put down the videos he was carrying and walked to stand beside Dawson.
Dawson breathed heavily and put the video on the shelf. He slowly raked his hands through his short blonde locks and closed his eyes, leaning back against the shelves. He tried to swallow the ever-large growing lump in his throat, but it was no use. The fear had got to him and Dawson's emotional nature spilled out. He felt his body begin to shake and looked around for a chair. Finding none, he just sunk to the floor and put his head in his hands. He didn't care if Pacey thought he was a wuss. He was hurting so much inside. The build-up of fear, anger, and frustration had peaked and was too much to handle.
Pacey looked incredulously at his friend and then glanced around the video store. No nosy Nellie or customers in sight. Pacey's eyes softened when he turned his head back to look at his friend. He had never seen him like this. Dawson Leery was excitable and very emotional but this was God, his friend looked like he was in hell. Pacey slid down on the floor next to him and patted his shoulder.
"Want to talk about it?"
Dawson sniffled and then turned to look at him seriously. "Please don't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. Pacey, I need your word."
Pacey held up his hand, "I promise." He was shocked at Dawson's words. This must be something horrible, he thought.
Dawson sighed. "It's Joey. She found... oh, I hate this!" Dawson balled his hand up into a fist and pounded it in frustration against the floor.
"What did she find, Dawson?" Pacey asked slowly.
He swallowed before answering. "She found a lump. Under her arm we're not sure... what it is."
Pacey's eyebrows shot up. He and Joey weren't the best of friends, but he still cared about her. This was horrible. "Oh God...Dawson, I'm sorry. That really sucks."
Dawson sighed. "Yeah. It does suck," he said with a twinge of bitterness creeping into his voice.
"Well, how is she? Is she gonna be okay?"
Dawson sighed and closed his eyes, willing the tears away. "She's Joey. She's handling it. God, Pacey, I'm doing the best I can but all I want to do is... You know what? I can't do anything! I'm being as supportive and loving as I can, but I feel like I should be doing more because she means everything to me. Everything Do you know what it's like to love someone this much Pacey? I'm hurting so badly, and I can't stop the pain. I can't stop her pain. I can't do one damned thing and it's driving me crazy."
Pacey nodded his head and grasped Dawson's shoulder in a silent sign of support. "Just be there for her. You may not think it helps. But it does. It probably means more than you know to Joey."
Dawson wiped his eyes and nose with the back of his hands. He sniffled and looked sideways at his friend. "How'd you become so wise Pacey? Did I miss something?" Dawson joked, attempting to lighten the mood. "I know you're right. Thanks man."
Pacey smiled. "Sure. Hey, listen it doesn't look like people are flocking to the door today. Why don't you go find Joey and take her someplace special? It's gorgeous out. You two lovebirds deserve some fun in the sun...if you know what I mean."
Dawson laughed. "You never change do you Pacey?" He chuckled and then started to rise to his feet. "Seriously, Pacey, I appreciate this. Thanks. I owe you one."
Pacey laughed. "Don't say it if you don't mean it Dawson. Because you know I'll take you up on that one day." They laughed and Dawson hit Pacey on the arm to show his appreciation in that manly type of way.
"Now, get out of here before I reconsider." Pacey ordered, grinning slightly.
"Okay. Thanks again. Bye Pace." Dawson grabbed his windbreaker and headed for the Icehouse.
***
Joey took an order from an elderly couple and hurried back to the kitchen. She went around back to give Bodie the orders. On her way back she heard Bessie yell, "We need someone at table 7!"
Joey tightened her apron strings and came barreling out of the kitchen. "I got it, Bess!" she yelled.
Joey wiped away the sweat that had formed on her forehead. It had been a very hot and grueling day of work but she had grinned and beared it. Under normal conditions she would have bitched to her sister, but not today. Today she was determined to handle everything that was thrown at her with no complaints. She had to prove to herself that she was strong.
She approached table 7 and plastered a bright grin. "Hi, welcome to the Icehouse. My name is Joey. I'll be your server today."
"Nice to meet you, Joey. You can serve me anytime and anywhere," a very familiar voice teased.
Joey pushed the hair out of her eyes and looked up. Her face brightened. "Dawson, you have no idea how good it is to see you."
The sides of Dawson's lips turned up into a smile. "It's good to see you too. How are you feeling?" he asked, slightly raising an eyebrow in concern.
"Feeling?" Joey faltered for a moment. "I'm fine, Dawson. So, um, what can I get you? The cod is great today."
He eyed her carefully. "Um, yeah, the cod sounds good. Jo, are you sure you're okay?" he persisted.
Joey looked around the restaurant to make sure no one was listening. "I'm fine, Dawson. Okay? I'm totally, and utterly perfectly fine," she avoided his eyes and scribbled his order on her pad. "So, anything to drink?"
Dawson sighed and got up out of his seat. She was driving him nuts. He knew she must be feeling how he felt. It was happening to her, not to him. She must feel ten times worse than he was. He just wanted to help her, bear a little of her pain.
Joey looked at him, seeing his arm move toward her. "What are you doing?" She moved away from Dawson as he reached to take the pad out of her hands.
"Joey, sit down for just a minute, okay? I think we should talk about this," he whispered, hearing his voice crack.
Joey shrugged and moved her pad out of his reach. "Talk about this? Talk about what, Dawson? There's nothing to talk-"
Dawson sighed and sank back down into his seat. "Joey, don't you think this is hard for me too?"
She stopped moving and looked at him. Neither said a word. They didn't know exactly what to say.
"Dawson," Joey began, breaking the silence. "I can't do this now. I'm going to go get your meal. Be right back," she looked him in the eye one last time, begging him to drop it for now.
He got the message. "Okay," he muttered, looking down at the table. After she was out of sight he put his head in his hands and tried to calm his anger and frustration. God, he loved her so much he could feel it all over.
***
Joey shoved her flyaway hair behind her ears. "Bessie, I've got another order. Anymore tables?"
Bessie looked around the Icehouse. There was finally a lull in business. She smiled at her younger sister in relief. "No, looks like we're all set. Why don't you go sit with the cute guy at table 7? He looks absolutely pitiful without you, Jo."
Joey followed Bessie's gaze. Her heart skipped a beat.
Dawson's face was all mangled. His eyebrows were lowered, forehead crumpled, eyes wide, mouth in the shape of a frown... He looked so sad. Joey's heart ached. She managed a grin. "Thanks, Bess. I think I will."
Joey untied her apron and smoothed back her hair. She slowly walked over to where he was sitting and slid in across from him.
Dawson sniffled and looked at her. He immediately wiped his eyes. "Uh, Jo is my food already done?"
She gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry, Dawson. I didn't mean to be a bitch. I love you so much. It's just..." she trailed off, at a loss for words. How could she explain to him how she was feeling? She didn't want to lean on him, no matter how wonderful and supportive he was. She just wanted to be normal right now.
He took her hands in his. "Let's go somewhere and talk, Jo," he said, offering her a smile that she happily returned.
***
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