Loving, Losing and Living Chapter 1

***
6 years later...
***

Dawson is lying on his bed, with his arms crossed against his chest and his eyes focused on the TV screen. Dawson's favorite Speilburg film, E.T., plays on the screen. Some things never change.

Dawson reaches over to his nightstand for some popcorn. His eyes never leave the screen, as he expertly pops the food in his mouth. He tears his eyes away from the TV for a moment and checks his watch. After looking he gets up from the bed and turns the movie off. He goes over to his closet to pick out something to wear for tonight. A blue shirt and khaki's, maybe? He glances at his watch again before he peels off his shirt quickly and runs his hands through his short, golden locks. He pulls the clothes off the hangers and starts to undo his belt buckle.

Joey quietly creeps into the room from the window. She and Dawson had planned a romantic evening at the beach, and he was running late from the looks of it. Joey smiled widely as she stared at Dawson's muscular bare back.

"Wow, Dawson, if I knew I was getting a strip show tonight I would have come over here sooner," Joey commented mischeavously. Dawson spun around and glanced at her in surprise. Joey laughed. "...a lot sooner," she grinned. Dawson dropped the clothes in his hands and grabbed her gently, wrapping his arms around her.

"Really? Well, now that you've had your fun. I think it's your turn to take center stage..." he grinned. Dawson started to kiss her along the neck and Joey tried to protest.

"Dawson! I thought we were going to the beach..." Joey's voice got cut off as his lips captured hers in a passionate kiss. The beach was forgotten for the meantime.
***

Dawson looked around his room at the discarded clothes. They had still managed to remain somewhat dressed, but her shirt, sandles and his shirt and shoes were scattered across the room. He glanced down at Joey cuddled up next to him. She was so beautiful, how was he going to live without her?

"Jo, I can't believe we're going to separate colleges. What am I going to do without you? Not being like this with you is going to drive me crazy," he said, sadly, pulling her closer in his arms. He fiddled with the straps to her bra and lowered one to kiss her shoulder.

Joey pulled away from him and teased, "So, that's what I am to you, huh, Dawson? Your sex object? Your plaything? A nice piece of ass?"

"No Joey, of course not. You're so much more than that, and you know it. You're a *VERY* nice piece of ass," he couldn't resist adding. That earned him a slap.

"And you're a horny teenager," she countered. Slapping him again.

"Oh, so you wanna play like that, huh?" he said, grabbing a pillow and knocking her off the head with it. She grinned playfully and started to tickle him. He was so much bigger and stronger than her that she usually lost their tickle fests, but that didn't make them any less fun for her.

Soon he had her pinned under him and he was tickling her like crazy. "DAW...SOO....NN!! COME...ON...ST--OP..." she managed to yell, between laughing and squealing. She knew there was only one way out of this.

When Dawson released one of her hands she reached down to the middle of her breast bone, and layed her fingers teasingly on the clasp to her bra. She had used this tactic before, but it didn't matter to him. It still drove him crazy with desire. Dawson felt himself lose the upper hand, but he didn't care. He was practically drooling when she undid the clasp and reached up to kiss him. She let him touch her before she quickly rehooked the clasp and flipped them over. He groaned and began to tickle her again, she laughed at how gullible he was.

"Ooo you're going to pay for that," he whispered in her ear. Joey felt her cheeks flush. Dawson was relentless. He tickled her everywhere. Her neck, behind her knees, her sides, and especially her feet.

"STTTTTTOOOOOOOOOPPPPPP!!!" she cried out over and over again. He just tickled her more and more. He moved away from her bare feet and reached up to tickle her under her arms.

"Joey, my love, you brought it on yourself," he smirked as he began to tickle her under her arms. Suddenly the smiles, smirks, and laughing stopped. Dawson pulled his hands away from her.

"Jo? What was that?" he asked.

Joey wrinkled her brow and reached under her arm to feel around for what she had just felt Dawson touch. She felt a small lump under the skin. Immediately she felt fear flush through her body. Dawson looked at her questioningly. Joey didn't know what to say or do. In that one moment her life had just gone from almost perfect to...unknown.

"Jo?"

A zillion thoughts ran through her mind. The prevailing thought was of her mother....

"Baby? What's wrong?" Fear and panic began to register on Dawson's face. He had a pretty good idea of what he had just felt...but it couldn't be. Right? Joey was only 18. She couldn't have it...

Joey swallowed back all the fear, anger, sadness, and confusion she was feeling. "Nothing, Dawson. I'm fine..." Joey avoided his eyes and glanced down at herself. She quickly jumped off the bed and reached for her shirt.

He watched her change back into her shirt and sandles and jumped off the bed also. He pulled her back into his arms and searched her eyes for answers. "Joey?"

Looking at Dawson, she realized how much he meant to her. She could not live without him, and she didn't want to. He was her love, her home, her heart, her rock...everything.
Maybe she's just overreacting. It could be nothing. It really could...

"Jo, I'm not letting you leave like this. What's going on? I love you. If that was what I thought it was...we're going to face this together." Dawson hid the fear he was feeling and tried to be as supportive and loving as possible.

Her face began to fall and she felt the emotion overcome her again. The fear gripping her heart was almost too much to bear. She began to shake and he gave her a tight hug before pulling her shirt over her head and putting it on his bed gently. He watched her eyes and kissed her cheek. "It'll be ok, Joey."

She knew what he was doing. He needed to know for sure. So did she. It was her body after all. If it was true...if she did have cancer, it was happening to her! She felt him gently lift her arm over her head. She bit down on her lip hard, struggling not to cry. She felt incredibly vulnerable. She loved Dawson with her whole heart. And she trusted him with her mind, heart, body, and soul, but... it was still scary.

He spoke before he touched her again. "Jo, I'm just going to try to find the...,uh,..."

"It's okay, Dawson. I know..." Joey said bravely.

He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. He wanted to be strong for Joey, but he was so freaked out on the inside. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't... He took another deep breath and felt around on the inside of her underarm. She bit her lip, bracing herself for the worst.
***
to be continued...