"CUT!" Bellowed the director, throwing his arms up - almost dropping his clipboard. "Van!?!" frowning, exasperated, and barely able to control the speed of his breathing, "What's wrong? What's so hard about kissing Peter?" Pacing back and forth in front of her, "You've done this scene so many times", waving his hands in the air, "you could do it in your sleep. What makes this time any different?" He paused to breathe and got a good look at Van's face. There was puffiness the makeup couldn't hide and the eyes that were usually so full of fun and mischief, were now full of strain and weariness.
"Van, please look at me. What's wrong, you're a natural at this?" His voice lowering as he motions her aside so the whole cast and crew couldn't eavesdrop. Not that they wouldn't know all about it soon enough.
"Pere, put yourself in my place." She folded her arms across her chest and looked him straight in the eyes. "How would you feel if your significant other decided they could no longer live with you and your lifestyle, after four years of being together." She paused a moment to collect herself.
"Yes!" At the surprised look on his face. "Darin has decided to leave me, because 'He says', he can't handle watching me make love to other men. Eventhough he knows it's only play acting. He just can't live with a celebrity, always in the spotlight." She added ironically. "I should have seen it coming. He would get so upset whenever someone would ask for my autograph." Her voice faded. Her tone gave the impression she was more angry than hurt. To end the conversation she signaled for makeup to fix her face. Pere, knowing she would say no more returned to his director's chair and waited for her to return.
She quickly returned and for the rest of that day shooting proceeded without a hitch.
"Gwen, I really don't know what came over me." She leaned her forehead into the palm of her hands. "I almost broke." She stood up so fast the chair fell over. "Damn it I feel so ridiculous, falling over my lines, making such a big deal out of kissing Peter, in front of the whole cast and crew." Grimacing she sat in the nearest chair and laced her fingers over her knees, while putting them under her chin. "I'm usually so cool and in control." For a moment she put her face in her hands. "What am I going to do? Everyone must think me a childish immature prema dona for losing it like that." She put her head back down on her hands.
"Van you keep forgetting one thing. You're only human and far from perfect. And as for the cast and crew let them think what they want. It adds to your mystique." Gwen pulled out a chair and sat down. "As far as I'm concerned if you didn't feel something from Darins actions, I'd think something was wrong with you. And we all know you're not a god. Or should I say goddess?" Gwen smiled, only half understanding how her boss felt.
Later, while Van was out running errands she had time to think. No matter what, she felt miserable. She'd been doing this soap for two years, and Peter wasn't the first man she'd kissed, on or off camera. You would think she'd be a pro at it by now.
There was no excuse. She'd known for months that her relationship was failing, why was she letting it get to her now. Just when they were contemplating killing off her character. She just had to pull herself together, make them see they needed her character.
It had been such a long day and she was exhausted. This hadn't been the first day that ended with her dead on her feet and it wouldn't be the last, unless... maybe a vacation would do her good. She had some money put away for a rainy day and it couldn't get any rainier than today. Let Darin run away with his tail between his legs. She would speak to Pere about it tomorrow. Hopefully they could write her out of the soap for a couple of weeks. But, what if they decided to go ahead and write her out of the show, what then?
1.) Have the talk with Pere about going on vacation? (Available)
2.) Fake an accident resulting in "Amnesia"? (Available)
3.) Ask Peter out for a drink and advice? (Available)
{ Library }
