Joke of the Week
A man purchases a parrot from a pet store and takes it home. However, shortly after he gets it home, the parrot begins shouting at him, using foul language and being generally abusive.
The man calls the pet store for advice and they make some suggestions. He tries playing soft music, stroking the bird gently, speaking kindly to it. Finally, he tries rapping it on the beak when it gets rude. Nothing works.
Finally in a fit of anger when the bird again starts being abusive, the man opens the freezer door and throws the bird inside and slams it shut.
He hears wild squawking and thumping, then total silence.
Terrified that he's killed the bird, he yanks the freezer open. The parrot steps calmly out onto his hand and says, "I'd like to ask your forgiveness for my previous unpardonable behavior. In the future I will endeavor to be more pleasant."
The man can't believe the transformation the bird has made. Then the parrot continues, "And may I inquire -- what did the chicken do?"
Here are a few useful things I have learned recently. Who said you can't teach an old hound new tricks? Did you know:
That you shouldn't leave a coffee cup on top of the car, even if you're sure you won't forget about it when you pull out of the garage?
That if you have Microsoft Excel, you should try this:
- Open a new Excel workbook
- .Press F5
- Type X97:L97 then hit O.K.
- Press the Tab key once
- Hold down the Shift and Ctrl keys
- While still holding those two keys, click on the Chart Wizard
- Move your mouse around!!
That you can clean bathroom fixtures with toothpaste and your finger. Really. Then wipe the mirrors quickly with that damp towel and there you have it - express cleaning!
That if you don't have time to dust, you can just spray a little Pledge out into the middle of the room. It doesn't do any good but it makes it smell like you cleaned.
Links I Like
Library of Congress
Search the Bible
Be Glad for the Song Has No Ending - Incredible String Band site
Who I am
I am a 40 year old single mother of two. I like reading, writing, surfing, and connecting with other people. In the past I have been a laundress, an electronics assembler, a manufacturing supervisor, and a "housewife" (among other things). I now make my living writing and editing technical manuals.
Thanks in my life go to my Higher Power, and to Pam, my muse and boon companion.
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