Disclaimer: Its late, we know. Its way past New Year's Eve, we know. But
we also don't really care. And with that said, Juls and I don't own shit.
With the exception of the characters we made up/plagurized off of our
friends.
Plot: Oh come on! The title says it all!
Spoilers: Not a one. This is our own world, where all the crap that's
been happening so far this year doesn't exist.
Rating: Duh! R! Although so far we've had no screwage.
Thing I Gotta Say: Everyone keeps asking us "Who are Pamela and Jessica
and Jyll?". Pamela is the founder of An Immortal Love, the series and site
that is major prozac to all of us B/A shippers out there. Jessica is Jessica
Boland, the fabulous fic writer and therapist of one of the Brother Dearest
authors *g*. And omigod! How can you *not* know who Jyll is? I thought it
was obvious!
Thanks: To Pamela, Jessica, the magnificent Juls, Serena, and Gay Pride
2000, of which Riley Finn is the president. --Jyll
"So, I was hoping we could all get together for the millennium this
year," Joyce said on her end of the telephone conversation. Buffy sighed
on
the other end. She had wanted to spend the change of the millennium with
herself,
Angelus, and chains.
"You do know the millennium doesn't officially start until 2001
mother,
right?" Buffy pleaded, trying to get out of a visit. She had just seen
everyone for Thanksgiving. That was enough to last her at least until the
twins were 30.
"Come on. It'll be fun, like old times," Joyce insisted.
"Fine," Buffy gave in, "on one condition. That Pam, Jess, and Jyll
can
come."
"All right," Joyce said reluctantly. "I'll set up everything and
give
you a call with the arrangements."
"Ta Ta," Buffy said hanging up the extension. "God, I'd just like
to
strangle her!"
"We can take care of that," Jessica said entering the room with
Pamela
and Jyll at her heels.
"Would you?" Buffy said jokingly.
"Of course, what are friends for?" replied Jyll, plopping down on
one
of the
overstuffed leather chairs in Buffy's office.
"I have some good and some bad news," Buffy said, her back to them
looking out the windows. "My mother insisted that I do New Years with
her
this year and she's in the process of making plans as we speak. That's
the
bad news. The good is that I talked her into making you three welcome.
So
you can wreck hazards on people's lives to bring in the New Year. That
will
keep you entertained; I'll bring Spike to help keep Angelus
under
control and Dru to keep me anchored to reality. So all in all, it'll be
one
big party."
"Will Angel be there?" asked Jessica, a little too eagerly.
"Yes, he will. But a warning to you, he's mine. I get to have
him."
"Who's Angel?" Jyll asked.
"Jyll, we told you five minutes ago. Angelus' sorry-ass twin? Ring
any
bells?"
"So right you are love," Spike said carrying both Shawn and Rory in
his
arms, returning them from the baby-sitting service he and Dru provided on
occasion. "Soul boy, well he's a sorry sight. Sometimes I want to put
him
out of his misery."
"That's my job Spike," Buffy said taking Shawn from his Uncle Spike.
"So what are you four plotting? Another murder?"
"Wouldn't you like to know!" said Jessica ruefully, leaning forward.
"Dude, Buff's just Mama wants to hook up for New Years."
"Oh joy, the Slayer's mum. What a basket-case," Spike said in
disgust, interrupted
when he was pinned to the wall by a very brassed off ex-slayer.
"How many times do I have to tell you Spike, I'm not the fucking
Slayer.
I did that gig a while ago. Its over. Now back to the subject at hand.
What do we propose to do to wreak havoc and mind bending hell on the 'Scooby
Gang'...I can't believe they still call themselves that, ugh."
"So...when's the 'Scooby Gang' coming down?" Jyll asked.
Buffy grunted. "Don't say that! Its so lame!"
"It is a bit catchy love," Spike said, but he shut up when Buffy
glared
at him. "So, what's happening again?"
*********************************************************
Buffy straightened her skirt for the millionth time. Jessica, Jyll,
Pamela,
and Drusilla were on the couch. Spike was bringing the boys to a neighbor.
Angelus was getting dressed. The doorbell rang and Galen answered the door.
He escorted the group into the living room. Joyce, Willow, Oz, Cordelia,
Xander, and Giles. The four women stood to greet them. Joyce had insisted
on visiting but Buffy negotiated that she could pick the club. So they were
headed to the Smart Bar for Nocturna. Nocturna was a Goth night for those
who
wanted to let their dark side out. It was usually a Tuesday night thing but
the club was making an exception for New Years. Buffy and Angelus were
regulars. It was the only place they could really be themselves. The one
thing this night promised was to get her friends dressed in ways they never
would again. For Cordelia, this included the dress Pamela wore for
Christmas. It was a replica of Morticia's. Willow, tight black leather
pants
and a red leather bodice that laced up the back. Jyll had seen her and
snickered, mumbling something about Faith to Jessica, who rolled her eyes
and grinned. For Joyce something not too
scary. A long black skirt, slit to mid-thigh, fishnets, and a tight silver
tank. The men were robed in shades of black, silver, and red.
************************************
Smart Bar, Chicago. 11:00pm, New Years Eve
"What the hell do you mean you don"t have Handi-Snacks? Fuck you
guys!"
Pamela grunted
and flopped dejectedly down unto a bar stool. No Handi-Snacks! It was
insane! Here she was,
out on New Year's Eve, Jessica and Jyll had ditched her, Buffy was off
with
Drusilla and Angel
and her gay-ass Sunnydale friends, no one knew where Angelus and Spike
had
gone, and to top it
all off, the bar didn't even have Handi-Snacks!
However, her pissed off thoughts were interrupted as soon as she saw
Him. Tall,
handsome, muscular
build, Him, sitting two seats down from her at the bar. Stealthily Pamela
stood up. After adjusting
her black tube top and wiping away an imaginary spot on her black leather
pants, she slowly
made her way over to him.
"Hey," she said brightly, perching on the bar next to him. Her dark
hair
cascading down her back.
He looked up at her from his gingerale. Whoa. Who was this chick?
"Umm...hi," he
responded uneasily.
Hi? Hi? What kind of shit said hi? Why didn't he throw her against the
bar and kiss her
passionately? Why did he say hi? But instead she grinned. "I'm
Pamela. And you would
be...?"
He stuck out his hand. "Riley. Riley Finn. Nice to meet you."
Awkwardly,
Pamela took his
hand and shook it.
*Wow. She has nice hands*. Thought Riley. *Nice hands are *such* a
turn
on*! Riley took
some Cheez-wiz off of the platter of crackers and made her a
cracker-and-cheez-wiz thingy.
Pamela grinned happily.
"Cheese! I love cheese! Especially that artificial shit that rots your
intestine!" she exclaimed,
happily accepting the cracker.
"It rots your intestine?" Riley asked, glancing down at the little
pile
of cheez-wiz and crackers
he had made. The pile that was quickly disapearing.
Pamela shrugged. "According to Jyll's Mama it does."
Riley looked at her quizzically. "Who's Jyll?"
"She's my friend. Granted, she's nuttier than a bat out of hell, but
she's okay. Only thing is,
she tends to listen to whatever her Mama, as she puts it, says."
"Oh. Riley looked up at her. She looked so pretty sitting there. And
it
was New Years. What
the hell.
They went into the storage closet and didn't return to the bar for
several hours.
********************************************************
Smart Bar, Chicago, 11:17pm, New Years Eve
"Fuck! Do they have to play this damned song every year?" asked
an annoyed
Angelus to nobody in particular. Spike had been there a minute ago, but
he
was off in the corner,
making out with Jyll. He did a quick scan of the area he was in with his
eyes. Not more than five
feet away from him was Joyce. Goody.
Quietly, he made his way over to her. She had left the Ladies' Room
and
was probably
heading back to the rest of the gang to annoy his wife to no end so that
Buffy would be up half
the night bitching and so that he wouldn't laid. And nobody messed with
Angelus' sex life and
lived to do it again.
He considered it for a moment, then decided what the hell. Angelus
took
out his cell phone
and dialed Jessica.
"Yeah?"
"Anything up yet?"
"Nope."
"Good. I'm over by the exit. Come over here now."
Jessica hung up the phone, but did as Angelus asked. Well, did as
Angelus
told her to. He
hadn't left much room for argument.
She made her way over to the exit and saw Angelus, leaning against the
wall and scowling.
Typical.
"What?" she asked, hand on her hip, frown on her face.
"Joyce. Get rid of her."
"Hell no! I hate the bitch as much as you do, but she's Buffy's
mother!
Buffy would kill me!"
"I don't think she'll mind."
"Never in a million years! I wouldn't do it if you tortured me in the
fiery pits of hell!"
"$500 bucks if you do the job."
"Done."
Jessica scanned around for Joyce. She spotted her buying drinks at the
bar. Quietly, Jessica
tiptoed over to where Joyce was. How was she going to do this?
Inspiration
hit.
Huddled in a corner was a woman. An ugly woman, Jessica noted, but a
woman in a police
uniform nonetheless.
"Officer?" asked Jessica, approaching the woman.
The woman turned to face her. "Yes?"
"That woman. She's a drug dealer. Sells crack to minors," said
Jessica
pointing to Joyce.
The officer turned, thanked Jessica, and walked over to Joyce.
Jessica
smiled in satisfactory when the police woman escorted Joyce out the door.
Spike joined them and he and Angelus watched happily as Joyce was
led outside. It would be temporary but they'd find a permanent way of
dealing with her later. Or maybe not.
Jessica followed Joyce out and didn't see a police car. She heard Joyce
scream as the officer's face morphed in to vamp mode. Her screams ceased as
she died. That's what she got for going to a Goth club and messing with
Angelus' sex life.
After that they partied well into the early hours of the morning.
***The End***
I would like to wrap this up with a big wow! No shit happened on Midnight
of
December 31st!!! I was shocked...and kinda disappointed. Until next time.