Have you ever wondered why? Why things are? Why you were born to a certain family, or why you are who you are? I think life is just a test. That maybe we're placed in different places for a reason. Some people get easier test and others, hard ones. Maybe one of the hardest tests is the test of survival through depression. If you live, it seems, you've "passed" for the time being. But you always seem to have to take it again. It doesn't seem fair. That some people can lead a privileged life and breeze though it with no problem at all. But maybe those (like myself) that do go through depression, are better off. It's us that get to see the way the world really is. That get the chance to see things in a different view. That can appreciate things that others take for granted. What ever the reason I think there is an answer somewhere. But maybe I'm wrong.
There are people out there that really aren't who they appear to be. The truth is most of us are that way. But I mean the people that say they are one way but are really the complete oppisate. I know a person (I will not say who, but he knows who he is. Let's call him Bob just for the fun of it), he is a punk in the tenth grade. He's also in my class. I must say he is very smart, but not very manly. Oh, he may look it, true. But he isn't. Bob plays football, so he's very strong. He is a person that knows what he wants, and damn it, if he does he's gonna get it. Bob and I have never gotten along that well, but this year we started out pretty good. Until of course, he sarted being a huge asshole about 1- 1 1/2 months ago. Then he went into this whole big thing about me trying to be punk rock. (Let me please state for the record that I am me. Nothing else. I like being unique. I like punk, but I've never really been exposed to it. I live in a town crawling with preps and rappers. Some crunchies too. But almost everyone is snobby. My main music is ska and swing. That too i hadn't really been exposed to but at least i have more access to it.) Continuing, my hair is purple. Now is that a crime? I always (going back nearly 4 years now) wanted to do my hair different colors. So I did. I just trimmed my bangs (they were getting really long and I did them a bit shorter than I was gonna, about to my eyebrows) and now that's a crime too. Oh, hail mighty Bob, king of punx! Was he born with a little mohawk, boots, and a bondage belt around his waist? Probably not. But the thing that really gets me, he told my friend "Amy" that she could turn punk. Now she's "the hippie" in the school. Can you say biased hyprocrite? Grrrrrrrr. It just pisses me off. PLEASE some one e-mail with comments if you see this. Idiots like Bob shouldn't be aloud to rule their own little monarchy's. And to think he says he's an anarchist. Yeah right. Since when did slavery become legal again?
I would like to update the last rant of mine. "Amy" is quite herself. "Bob" is better now but I don't see him as much now. Needless to say much of my stress is relived of me. My hair is a normal color again (my reddish color). I would love to go purple again but I have competition in my trade area and can't have colored hair. And then after that my boyfriend would probably give me a hard time if I did. We're very different. So, that taken care of, the grudge never forgotten...
