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The Top Ten Lists Page!

Top Ten Ways You Can Tell A Barbarian Was In Your Village

10.At noon,the villagers thought they heard an earthquake!(It was his stomach rumbling.) 9.Faint scent of "Domination" by Calvin Klein lingers in the air. 8.Local bully now known as "Shoe Shine Boy". 7.Village tavern has only a large pile of animal bones left,all the food is gone... 6.All the ladies have a smile on their face that lasts for a week! 5.Local hospital full of people with names like "EvilGuy","Blackheart",and "DevilMan". 4.Nine months later,all the pretty girls in your village give b....uh,nevermind! 3.Absolutely NO beer left in your fridge! 2.Children run around waving wooden swords and yelling,"Evil can kiss my barbarian butt!" 1.Your girlfriend insists that you start pumping iron and wear only a loincloth.

Top Ten Ways You Can Tell That You're Not Welcome in the Forest Anymore!

10.Girl known to flirt/have c-sex with ANYONE tells you she's decided to become a nun! 9.RogueMage sends his band of killer mimes after you!!! 8.Everyone there says you're too cool for here,why don't you try the Hottub? 7.Guy known for being in the forest 24-7 tells you he's "gotta go,real life calls"!! 6.Somebody misfires a pmsg to you saying,"If we all stop talking at once,she might think we're all lagged out and leave"!! 5.Girl who is ALWAYS there tells you to "get a life"!!! 4.All of the sudden,everybody but you gets summonded away! 3.Everytime you arrive,one of the magicians turns you into a pile of sheep dip! 2.One of the warriors asks you to fight on his side,as his SHIELD! 1.Reason given everytime you get kicked?"Annoying as HELL!"

Top Ten Really Cool Things That Jorrun Says!

10."Good evening,ladies and gentlemen...i'm Jorrun the barbarian .....AND YOUR NOT!!!" 9."You women are wearing WAY too much clothing!!" 8."How do i know you're not only interested in me for my body???" 7."Jorrun only pawn in game of life." 6."And the evil guy dies!!!" 5."Do my blue eyes decieve me??" 4."You're not attracted to me?Are you a lesbian?" 3."Kiss my barbarian butt!!!" 2."And when women are unhappy,JORRUN is unhappy!" 1."MAGIC???I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' MAGIC!!!"

Top Ten Reasons Why Being an Unmagical Mortal is Will Always Be Cooler Than Being a Magical Immortal

10.YOUR people are always getting stuck in trees,statues,lamps,etc...and needing MORTALS to get you the hell OUT!! 9.You can say what you WANT to believe,your wizards aren't wearing "magical robes",they're wearing DRESSES!!! 8.If you're all so damn cool,how come there are a billion stories about your women seducing OUR men,HMM?????(YOU GODDESSES OUT THERE KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!) 7.You get to say:"You know what they say about the size of a man's sword!!" 6.Mortals never excuse long periods without sex with lame lines like "Sex kinda drains my powers out of me!" 5.You never read about US having green skin and warty noses!! 4.Much shorter life spans mean we mortals are ALWAYS ready for sex!! 3.Hypothetical situation:All magic suddenly disappears from the world.Mortals pay no attention,immortals have to sell pencils on street corners! 2."Once you go mortal,you never go...um...uh....down a time portal?No...you never go....FORGET IT!!" 1.

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