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My Journal
Friday, 17 June 2005
Chikoku... Chikoku! (I'm late! I'm late!)
Mood:
 rushed
Now Playing: Christian Bautista - I Don't Wanna See You Cry Again
Whew! I slept early last night but I ended up almost running to school for my 10 o'clock seminar. My fault was I forgot to set the clock to wake me up before ten. Thursdays are usually my school-free day but as we are having this special lecture series for the week, my ever-loved Thursday has not been spared. My mobile phone has a wake up function set at 10 am and its sound was the one that woke me up.
My goodness! It's exactly 10 o'clock. I was wondering why the clock didn't rang but I immediately remembered that I was not able to set it. This would be my latest late in the whole lecture series. It was so shameful to the lecturer. I immediately got dressed up and brushed my teeth without eating anything and run to the street to wait for a cab. I'd rather shell out about a thousand yen just to buy a few minutes off instead of riding a bike. But heavens, no taxi had been passing for the five minutes that I'd been staying in the street. I decided to just go to school by bicycle then as I had no other choice.
The lecturer seemed to be anticipating my delayed arrival. He didn't erase the lecture notes on the board and he kept on writing stuffs in the remaining small spaces on the board. May be he knew that I could not understand much Japanese from his explanations and that I was only relying on any lecture notes that I could copy. My assumption got stronger as he started to erase what were written on the board as I begun to copy them a few minutes ago. Too bad, there was a professor attending the lecture for the day and he knows me. He might tell my professor that I arrived half-an-hour late in today's lecture.
I was not able to escape the temptation of feeling sleepy during the lecture. But I managed to keep myself awake as soon as I detected my drowsiness.
It was already lunchtime and I decided to have lunch in the university cafeteria instead of going home to save time and to make sure that I won't be late again as the lecture resumes in the afternoon. But as I finished my meal, my tummy felt awkward so I had no choice but to rush home.
I really like rushing so to keep the long story short, I arrived one minute late to the lecture venue. Not that bad as the lecture was just about to start the second leg of the lecture.
He dismissed us half-an-hour ahead of schedule. It was so nice, as I could go home earlier. As I was on my way home, I was thinking of downloading and installing Vine Linux in my computer so I can use Japanese Latex at home. Aside from that, I felt inspired to resume doing my composition writing homework in Japanese. Although I already have almost half-a-dozen of unsubmitted compositions for correction, I particularly finished my article about my family as I am planning to upload it in my home page. I was really inspired as I surprisingly ended up with at least three pages! Upon going back my Thai friend asked me how to cook "turon saging" which he began to like when I served it during our cherry blossom viewing last spring. As he was not still having his dinner by that time, and me craving for another dinner as I had mine at about five in the afternoon, went to the nearby noodle shop and sipped some hot soup and hearty noodle bowl.
After going back from the noodle shop, I revised my personal homepage by uploading my article about the family with its English translation. I am planning to upload most of my Japanese compositions and translate them to English (and eventually to Tagalog and Spanish) little by little so that I will have a bilingual personal home page when I finish it.
Got to take a look at my old blog site here in Angelfire and I noticed that I had better articles here than those in my blogspot account. Now I am confused as I have three blog accounts: this, the one in blogspot, and the one in multiply (not to mention the one in Friendster that I have no plans of developing.) Oh well, as you can see, I added another entry in my web log in Angelfire.
Hope to keep it active again. OK, gotta go... I really need to work on the report that I need to submit to the lecturer later today.
Chikoku... Chikoku! (I'm late! I'm late!)
Mood:
rushed
Now Playing: Christian Bautista - I Don't Wanna See You Cry Again
Whew! I slept early last night but I ended up almost running to school for my 10 o'clock seminar. My fault was I forgot to set the clock to wake me up before ten. Thursdays are usually my school-free day but as we are having this special lecture series for the week, my ever-loved Thursday has not been spared. My mobile phone has a wake up function set at 10 am and its sound was the one that woke me up.
My goodness! It's exactly 10 o'clock. I was wondering why the clock didn't rang but I immediately remembered that I was not able to set it. This would be my latest late in the whole lecture series. It was so shameful to the lecturer. I immediately got dressed up and brushed my teeth without eating anything and run to the street to wait for a cab. I'd rather shell out about a thousand yen just to buy a few minutes off instead of riding a bike. But heavens, no taxi had been passing for the five minutes that I'd been staying in the street. I decided to just go to school by bicycle then as I had no other choice.
The lecturer seemed to be anticipating my delayed arrival. He didn't erase the lecture notes on the board and he kept on writing stuffs in the remaining small spaces on the board. May be he knew that I could not understand much Japanese from his explanations and that I was only relying on any lecture notes that I could copy. My assumption got stronger as he started to erase what were written on the board as I begun to copy them a few minutes ago. Too bad, there was a professor attending the lecture for the day and he knows me. He might tell my professor that I arrived half-an-hour late in today's lecture.
I was not able to escape the temptation of feeling sleepy during the lecture. But I managed to keep myself awake as soon as I detected my drowsiness.
It was already lunchtime and I decided to have lunch in the university cafeteria instead of going home to save time and to make sure that I won't be late again as the lecture resumes in the afternoon. But as I finished my meal, my tummy felt awkward so I had no choice but to rush home.
I really like rushing so to keep the long story short, I arrived one minute late to the lecture venue. Not that bad as the lecture was just about to start the second leg of the lecture.
He dismissed us half-an-hour ahead of schedule. It was so nice, as I could go home earlier. As I was on my way home, I was thinking of downloading and installing Vine Linux in my computer so I can use Japanese Latex at home. Aside from that, I felt inspired to resume doing my composition writing homework in Japanese. Although I already have almost half-a-dozen of unsubmitted compositions for correction, I particularly finished my article about my family as I am planning to upload it in my home page. I was really inspired as I surprisingly ended up with at least three pages! Upon going back my Thai friend asked me how to cook "turon saging" which he began to like when I served it during our cherry blossom viewing last spring. As he was not still having his dinner by that time, and me craving for another dinner as I had mine at about five in the afternoon, went to the nearby noodle shop and sipped some hot soup and hearty noodle bowl.
After going back from the noodle shop, I revised my personal homepage by uploading my article about the family with its English translation. I am planning to upload most of my Japanese compositions and translate them to English (and eventually to Tagalog and Spanish) little by little so that I will have a bilingual personal home page when I finish it.
Got to take a look at my old blog site here in Angelfire and I noticed that I had better articles here than those in my blogspot account. Now I am confused as I have three blog accounts: this, the one in blogspot, and the one in multiply (not to mention the one in Friendster that I have no plans of developing.) Oh well, as you can see, I added another entry in my web log in Angelfire.
Hope to keep it active again. OK, gotta go... I really need to work on the report that I need to submit to the lecturer later today.
Thursday, 1 July 2004
Ohisahiburi desu ne!
Mood:
rushed
Hello everyone, sorry for not filling this form up for the last nine months. It's not that I got pregnant and took a leave for nine months (hahaha!) but to tell you frankly, I've been dead busy because fo work and school. Anyway, just to give a quick review of what happened in the last nine moths... hold on your seats and here we go! September, feeling so bad after knowing that my feedback for the last year was unfavorable, it has been very difficult for me to stay in the office (not literally, of course, my overtimes never ceased until the end.) It feels like, since I got a bad feedback last year, this year I need to exert more effort so that my feedback for next year would be nice. But with what happened for this year's evaluation, and still working with the same people who treated me that way, it is obviously impossible for me to get back to my momentum. Of course, questioning their evaluation on me really made them liook at me furiously and thus, their expectations on me will become higher. Anyway, I thought of asking my consellor to move me to another project, or team at the least... but to no avail. In other words, I still need to endure everything since I be staying in the team and will be working with the same people again. ooops got to go... be back later! ;-)
Tuesday, 23 September 2003
Multipost
Multipost
Much had passed during the last few days and I'll just be giving the highlights.
My 22nd Birthday (Sept 10)
It has been just an ordinary day for me at the start of the day. I no longer feel the uplifted spirit and much enthusiasm on my natal day, as opposed to what I used to feel during my birthdays and the holiday season. Many of my peers suggested me that it was just part of my maturation process into adulthood since that feeling is only for children.
At lunchtime, Flint had a birthday surprise for me. We were all in Landmark foodcourt where we shared cake and ice cream. Later in the afternoon, our big team had the birthday snack for us three celebrants-Grace, Myrene and me. My manager gave me a nice gift-a book, "Your Roadmap to Success."
Later that night, I even played badminton with JP and friends. Also, I met Joanne, Rey and Roselle for a late night dinner. We played at Timezone and separated at about 1 am. Rey and I were still together til Monumento where we had a chance to see the biggest moon up in the sky in the occasion of the Chinese moonckae festival which for this year feel exactly on my birthday.
Ouch it hurts!(Sept 11)
As I woke up in the morning I felt pain in my right big toe. There was a wound because of the engroin-very sharp toenail growing on the deep curved part of my big toe piercing it causing pain. The big toe has already swollen and it was very hard for me to wear shoes. I had to meet the neighborhood pedicurist to have the engroin removed. It was already afternoon when I got in the office.
The Event (Sept 13)
Flint invited me to go with him to watch the F4's concert. I had Joanne with me and Flint also invited Edward. We fell in line 5 pm and were able to enter the venue at about 8 pm. There I felt the fear of being caught in a stampede. However, I put in mind tghat being in that concert is analogous to my trials in life. To cut the long story short, although we had the cheapest ticket in the show, we were there at the very front, seeing Dee, Barbie Xu, Vanness Wu and Kne Zhu in full flesh-so close. :)
Warfreak(Sept 15)
I dropped by the school first to get a copy of my school readings needed for the next day's homework. I got in the office two hours later. I already informed my officemate regarding this. My manager was asking if the person I informed knows my reason. Having just arrived at my desk, I personally asnwered the e-mail. But to my wonder, my manager was a bit hot-tempered that day. She e-mailed back, copy-furninshing my two team leads informing me that she've noticed that I always come late to the office. I answered the e-mail by saying that although I come in late, I am conscious of my number of hours at work and I honestly offset them. I don't know what she got from my reply but it seemed that there was going on already. Later in the afternoon, my manager approached me and scolded me even my other officemates were there. I don't know why, but I didn't care even if she scolded me. What's important for me is that I was able to voice out my side.
Sick leave (Sept 16)
My tummy ached once more so I decided to take an off from the office. Indeed, I need to give more time to my homework due at that night. I don't know but tghe department has already closed when I arrived so I had my homework submitted the very morning of the following day.
She got my point! (Sept 17)
At lunchtime, my manager approached me and asked for apology with what happened last Monday. I never expected it but the feeling is nice-now I am sure that she got my point in the e-mail. She gave me a bon-bon candy and left me with a pat in the shoulder.
Meeting my Ass-essor (Sept 18)
I had my performance feedback form discussed by my assessor. During the two hour one-on-one heart-to-heart talk, I was feeling drained. The following day, my assessor asked me if I felt better after the discussion. Yes, I felt better-now that I know how fallacious her arguments in my pff are.
More to follow on my next post. See yah! :)
Multipost
Multipost
Much had passed during the last few days and I'll just be giving the highlights.
My 22nd Birthday (Sept 10)
It has been just an ordinary day for me at the start of the day. I no longer feel the uplifted spirit and much enthusiasm on my natal day, as opposed to what I used to feel during my birthdays and the holiday season. Many of my peers suggested me that it was just part of my maturation process into adulthood since that feeling is only for children.
At lunchtime, Flint had a birthday surprise for me. We were all in Landmark foodcourt where we shared cake and ice cream. Later in the afternoon, our big team had the birthday snack for us three celebrants-Grace, Myrene and me. My manager gave me a nice gift-a book, "Your Roadmap to Success."
Later that night, I even played badminton with JP and friends. Also, I met Joanne, Rey and Roselle for a late night dinner. We played at Timezone and separated at about 1 am. Rey and I were still together til Monumento where we had a chance to see the biggest moon up in the sky in the occasion of the Chinese moonckae festival which for this year feel exactly on my birthday.
Ouch it hurts!(Sept 11)
As I woke up in the morning I felt pain in my right big toe. There was a wound because of the engroin-very sharp toenail growing on the deep curved part of my big toe piercing it causing pain. The big toe has already swollen and it was very hard for me to wear shoes. I had to meet the neighborhood pedicurist to have the engroin removed. It was already afternoon when I got in the office.
The Event (Sept 13)
Flint invited me to go with him to watch the F4's concert. I had Joanne with me and Flint also invited Edward. We fell in line 5 pm and were able to enter the venue at about 8 pm. There I felt the fear of being caught in a stampede. However, I put in mind tghat being in that concert is analogous to my trials in life. To cut the long story short, although we had the cheapest ticket in the show, we were there at the very front, seeing Dee, Barbie Xu, Vanness Wu and Kne Zhu in full flesh-so close. :)
Warfreak(Sept 15)
I dropped by the school first to get a copy of my school readings needed for the next day's homework. I got in the office two hours later. I already informed my officemate regarding this. My manager was asking if the person I informed knows my reason. Having just arrived at my desk, I personally asnwered the e-mail. But to my wonder, my manager was a bit hot-tempered that day. She e-mailed back, copy-furninshing my two team leads informing me that she've noticed that I always come late to the office. I answered the e-mail by saying that although I come in late, I am conscious of my number of hours at work and I honestly offset them. I don't know what she got from my reply but it seemed that there was going on already. Later in the afternoon, my manager approached me and scolded me even my other officemates were there. I don't know why, but I didn't care even if she scolded me. What's important for me is that I was able to voice out my side.
Sick leave (Sept 16)
My tummy ached once more so I decided to take an off from the office. Indeed, I need to give more time to my homework due at that night. I don't know but tghe department has already closed when I arrived so I had my homework submitted the very morning of the following day.
She got my point! (Sept 17)
At lunchtime, my manager approached me and asked for apology with what happened last Monday. I never expected it but the feeling is nice-now I am sure that she got my point in the e-mail. She gave me a bon-bon candy and left me with a pat in the shoulder.
Meeting my Ass-essor (Sept 18)
I had my performance feedback form discussed by my assessor. During the two hour one-on-one heart-to-heart talk, I was feeling drained. The following day, my assessor asked me if I felt better after the discussion. Yes, I felt better-now that I know how fallacious her arguments in my pff are.
More to follow on my next post. See yah! :)
Thursday, 4 September 2003
When Giving Up is Not Really Giving Up
When Giving Up is Not Really Giving Up
Today I did the decision I almost avoided to make.
I dropped one of my subjects under the masteral program and deep inside myself I felt that I had already given up my little fight on that class. It took me quite a while before arriving at the final decision. It is actually time itself that forced me to make it. I dropped my programming language class. It was really so hard to give up. I, who never dropped any subject since I was in the BS Math program is now in front of my instructor asking him to sign my dropping slip-and he did-an indication that he was really expecting me to quit. I never wanted to do this but I know it is my fault. I tried to take the full semester load in spite of my full-time employment. Now I am ready to say good bye to my 1,500 bucks tuition for the 3-unit load, good bye to my chance of getting the dean?s list award, and the most bitter good bye, which was to accept the fact that I would still not graduate 2 semesters from now.
On my way home, I bought a pizza for the family. I used to bring goodies at home every time I get an accomplishment. But this time it is different. I brought home food alright after I dropped my failing subject. And all I have to do now is to regret-which I should have avoided only if I studied well for this subject.
But how can I do that given this miserable situation that I have in the office? I almost died out of lack of sleep every night just to finish my office tasks and always skip my classes just to do what was expected from me by my superiors. It is alright with me at first since I feel that I?ve done well despite of sacrificing my study load just for the sake of my work. It is from my salary that I get my tuition and if I will not be paid then I would not have the money to send myself to school. Add to that fact the recent event where I was evaluated as needing further improvement which caused my salary not to be increased for the rest of the fiscal year. It also caused me to get irritated every time I hear the words ?fiscal year?, ?annual process?, ?performance feedback?, ?solutions workforce?, and some other filthy jargons that are being used in the office to brag to the clients that we are well off.
However, looking at it in the bigger picture, dropping my programming language class is not really quitting at all. For me, that was just a part of the contingency plan that I am doing to salvage the rest of my school loads. I am expecting bulk of work from now on that may require me to render more and more hours of overtime that I ever had before and I also think that my remaining subjects will become demanding as well. What I had really done was to unburden myself of further pressure and worry that would prohibit me from getting sleep every night. Just a contingency plan-for I have already messed up the original plan of getting both study and work done with flying colors.
But with, as I?ve said above, the recent ?win? of evil against my hard work in the office, I got literally upset and pissed off for I have not gained anything in both aspects of my career. In work I got no salary increase and in school I got to drop a subject. Oh boy! What a very miserable life! A change of plans is in need.
Find strength in what remains behind.
Saturday, 30 August 2003
Tropical Depression
Tropical Depression
It's so ironic that I started the day with a big smile on my face and ended it with the most bitter frown I ever had in my whole life.
As I read the e-mail from my Phoenix counterpart, my heart leapt in joy since she acknowledged my work that I sent her the night before. It is very seldom in my life that someone praises me like that. That already boosted me up as I worked through the day.
I was hopefully waiting for the lunchtime to be over since it would be the time to get our salary increase letters. I asked my seatmate to go with me downstairs and we both got our salary letters. However, to my dismay, I found out that my salary for the entire fiscal year will remain unchanged! OUCH, that really hurted me. After all the pains and pressures and sleepless nights I was deprived of the opportunity to be appreciated with all the work I've done for the past year. :( I just smiled at my teammates and pretended that I am semi-contented with the amount of my salary increase.
But as I was to go out of the office, I approached my manager and asked her what happened to my salary increase. She explained it to me and that really made me upset. For once again, just like last year, I was cheated by my assessor. It's another sort of powertripping and maliscious misjudgment. Why should I always be a victim of that? Ever since in elementary school I had been always cheated by people claiming to be experts in evaluating me. I just can't stand the hypocrisy of putting someone up over me and dumping so many boo-boos in my part. As my manager enumerated to me the not so few improvement points as enlisted by my assessor, I just could't help but smirk at her. Although I still managed to keep my composure and I was able to end the conversation with her with a smile.
With what happened to me that day, I firmly made my decision not to stay in the firm longer as my contract elapses 7 months from now. I'll just be counting the days!
To those people who always underestimate me... Good job! But I'm still not impressed.
Wednesday, 27 August 2003
It's Been A While Since I had My Last Post
It's Been A While Since I had My Last Post
It's been about a week or so since I posted my last message. I didn't noticed that it has been that long! I was mainly occupied by work and some school worries. My work nowadays is on a big project requirement where I am playing quite a significant role. I've been introducing changes and about to test some components in the system where we are working on. Wow! Quite a dream came true! Ever since I really wanted to contribute something to our team. I hope I can this time. Inspite of the tiring ang time-consuming tasks I have at hand, I always feel releieved and a bit proud of myself every time I bring in a new accomplishment. It was only at the expense of my school works that I can fully devote 100% of my time to my office tasks. You know what, just keeping in mind all deadline I have to beat in the office already keeps me awake during the night. How can I attend to my school tasks then? Anyway, i'll continue my post next issue. :)
Thursday, 21 August 2003
Second year anniversary treat and Starbucks Night
Second year anniversary treat and Starbucks Night
August 20, 2003 (Wednesday)
I can not really determine how
to chart my office/work hours for the day. I came in late at the office
and had to go out for lunch with the team. Then, after lunch, a friend
passed by and asked me to assist her as she submitted her dossiers to our
company's HR. And at the end of day, a community member asked me to help
her carrying our rummage sale stuffs to her place. Good thing, I still
have Friday to offset all hours I missed during the week.
My officemate Flint treated our
group at the event of his second year anniversary in the company. We ate a
hearty lunch at the Max's restaurant. For us, reaching the second year
anniversary is more promising than the first one. The second year
anniversary signifies that we are being relieved of the company's two year
bond-as well as strengthening our careers in the firm for those who will stay
and a brand new opportunity awaiting for those who are planning to leave.
I also helped a friend, who
happened to be in the same community where I am, collect old stuffs for Sunday's
rummage sale. I was delighted with the Morgan Stanley team's dedication to
the cause since they had, I think, the most number of items donated to the
rummage sale. The proceeds of the rummage sale , and the previously
concluded cake raffle, will go to the Elsie Gaches village, a home for the
mentally retarded children-an outreach program being held by our very own SuMiTT
community.
After office, my friends and I
spend a moment of chatting and coffee-sipping at the Starbucks in Greenbelt.
Wednesday, 20 August 2003
Overtime
Overtime
August 19, 2003 (Tuesday)
I am all alone here in the office. I decided to stay late since I still have many things to do yet I wasn't able to finish all of them. I don't know why, but I am not feeling tired even though I had just too little sleep last night. The stress brought about by last night's exam and the pressures of office work seems to be resisted by my systems today. Well, that's a good one for me but I don't know if this will prevail until tomorrow. I think I'll be needing more overtimes in the office since ther is always loads of tasks that need to be done. Not mentioning my school works that are already past due. Oh my, where would I get all the time, strength and guts to face my overdue school tasks?? I am already ashamed to my CS220 professor since I intentionally got myself late to last night's exam since it was only during my ride to the school when I had most of my reviewing time. Actually, it was even diminished since I have to take a nap while inside the bus because I felt dizzy while I was on the way. May be it was due to my lack of sleep last Sunday.
Well, for now I took all my guts and swallowed all my pride as I send AJ and e-mail telling him that I already seen his web pages in his Japanese university's webpage. I am not expecting any reply from him but I put a return receipt on my e-mail. If he replies to it, the better.
Ok, I'm really going home this time. It's not getting any early anymore. I have to be in the office tomorrow by 8:00 am.
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