It was 9:15 when Ezra opened the door to Larabee’s room and entered as silently as possible. He spotted Nathan and JD seated beside the bed and smiled as he walked towards them. The three men looked at the sleeping man and bid each other goodnight. They’d been given special permission to stay with Larabee through the night. The victory had been hard fought, but with the help of Barrett and Carlyle the hospital agreed that the injured man would be better off with company. The nightmares continued to plague Larabee and he would often wake up in a cold sweat and trembling all over. The psychiatrist advised the board that his patient, although he had yet to speak with him, would deal with those nightmares a lot easier if his friends were around.
The gambler would be spending the night with Larabee, and a fold out chair had been pushed into the room. Ezra watched as Dunne and Jackson eased out of the room before settling in for the nightly vigil. He looked at the patient, illuminated only by the tiny nightlight on the opposite wall, and realized the bruises and swelling were finally fading, but Larabee’s face was far from restful. His head would move from side to side, the tube leading from the nasal canulas sometimes tangling in the sheets.
‘So much to deal with, my friend,’ he thought as he watched the blond shiver and try to pull the thin sheet up over him. Ezra stood up and moved to the foot of the bed. He lifted the flannel blanket and unfolded it, gently easing it up over the trembling body. He turned to walk towards the window, but a hand on his arm stopped him. He turned back to the bed just as a pair of glazed green eyes opened and fought to focus on him.
“Thanks, Ez,” Larabee said, the sadness in his voice tearing at the man standing over him.
“You’re welcome, Mr. Larabee. How are you feeling?”
“Not really sure,” the blond winced as he shifted and stiff muscles protested the new mistreatment.
Standish saw the truth in his leader’s eyes and wished he could do something for him. “Is there anything I can get you?”
“Just some water.”
“No problem.” The gambler reached for the pitcher of water and poured some into the glass, adding a straw in an effort to make it easier on the other man.
Larabee took the cup and again thanked the con artist. He sank back against the pillow and asked softly. “How was the date?”
Ezra smiled as he realized he’d been expecting the question. Larabee had been the one to convince him to go out with the pretty blond and had even gone so far as to order him to do so. When that hadn’t worked the blond had used blackmail by saying that he was ruining things for everyone. He pulled his chair to the bed and watched as his friend drank more of the water.
“The date, Mr. Larabee, was absolutely wonderful. Pat is a lovely lady and I’m hopeful that we’ll see more of each other.”
“That’s great, Ez. Nice to see someone besides Buck getting the girl.”
Standish laughed softly as he saw the twinkle in the injured man’s eyes. “Ah, but I have a feeling I may not be the only one who could end up with the girl,” he said conspiratorially.
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw the way Anne looked at you while you were under her care. Oh, she retained an air of professionalism, but I believe that she may visit you on her own now that you are not her patient any more and...”
“Ez, Anne was just doing her job,” a slight flush ran across his cheeks as he remembered her gentle touch when she removed the foley.
“We shall see, Mr. Larabee,” Standish said and then smiled. “Would you like to make a wager on whether Anne Sheridan pays you a visit?”
The blond perked up a little at the thought of the pretty nurse and nodded slowly. “What kind of wager are we talking here?”
“Hmm, Let’s see if I win you accompany me on my next visit to see mother and if...”
“Ah, hell, Ezra, you know me and Maude don’t get along.”
“But that’s what makes it an interesting wager.” The conman’s eyebrows rose as he watched the blond’s face, sensing he’d baited the trap perfectly. “And if you win...”
“You have to clean out the stables at my ranch everyday for a month...”
“A month? That seems a bit long...”
“Not when you consider what you’re asking me to do,” this time it was the blond who sensed the trap closing. “ So do we have a bet?”
“Hmm, since it was my idea I shall agree to your wager.” He watched as Larabee struggled to keep his eyes open and reached out to take the glass form the injured man’s hand. “I do believe it is time for you to get some rest, my friend.”
“Yeah, you might be right, Ez. Thanks...”
“For what?”
“For being here. For being a friend.”
“Mr. Larabee, for that you do not need to thank me. I assure you it is my pleasure to keep you company while you convalesce within the confines of this medical center. Sleep well and do not worry, Chris, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
By the time the night nurse came into the room to change the IVs and check on her patient, both men were sleeping soundly. She eased back out the door and missed the green eyes opening.
Chris lay awake and listened to the soft snoring of the man lying on the uncomfortable bed. He’d slept a little, but again memories of his ordeal in the chamber invaded his dreams and left him trembling and cold. He stared at the ceiling and let his thoughts run where they wanted, good and bad mixed together until silent tears streamed from his eyes. He bit his lip in an effort to stop any sounds from escaping his throat and used the blanket to wipe away any evidence of his emotions. He knew Carlyle would be coming to see him in the morning, but he wasn’t sure if he could open up to the man. He turned on his side and tried to ward off the fear and anxiety which mingled to keep him awake, but his attempts were unsuccessful as more tears dropped onto his pillow.
‘Goddamn you, Maguire,’ he thought as he struggled to get past the numbing pain the memories caused him. Pulling the blankets up further in an attempt to get warm he missed Ezra’s worried gaze as the gambler turned towards him.
Ezra knew there was nothing he could do to sooth Larabee’s fears or his pain, and to acknowledge that he’d heard would only cause the blond more anguish. Chris had always been a private man and didn’t like others to see his emotions, but there were times when those emotions were hard to hide. ‘It will get better, Chris, it’ll just take some time.’ He listened as the blond’s breathing eased and the soft sounds stopped and knew his friend was finally asleep. He lay in the darkness, praying that things really would be all right for the two injured men.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Barrett opened the door and entered the room to find two sleeping men. One was resting easy, unaware of the other being locked in some kind of nightmare. The concerned doctor hurried to the bed and placed a hand on his patient’s shoulder. He felt the silent tremors as Larabee’s eyes slowly opened and turned towards the soft touch. Barrett saw the pain and knew it had more to do with whatever nightmare Larabee had been having than actually physical pain.
“Maguire?” he asked softly so as not to wake up the room’s other occupant.
Larabee swallowed and slowly nodded as he pressed the button to raise his head slightly. “Yeah, son of a bitch may be dead, but...”
“He’s still in your dreams,” Barrett finished.
“Yeah. Can’t seem to make the bastard go away.”
“It might help if you talked about it.”
“So they tell me. Carlyle is supposed to be down in an hour.”
“Lee is a good man, Chris, and he’ll be able to help you through all of this.”
“Will he?” Larabee asked doubtfully.
“If you’ll let him he will. He’s one of the few people I know who has the ability to listen to what you want, and offer advice without pushing.”
“Sounds like you’re talking from experience.”
“Lee and I have talked.”
“As a friend or as a professional?”
Barrett looked into the hopeful green eyes and answered. “Both. I’ve been where you are, Chris, and I know the value of talking it through with someone, whether it’s a friend or a professional. I have a feeling it’s harder to talk it over with friends because of the emotional involvement. Lee and I didn’t become friends until long after we spoke professionally.”
“What happened to you?” Larabee asked and realized he was asking the man about his private life. “Sorry, Doc, I don’t mean to pry!”
“That’s okay, Chris. I won’t go into details, but I will tell you I’ve been through a painful experience, but it’s in the past now...”
“Does it ever go away?”
Barrett knew how important it was to be truthful about what to expect and he leaned heavily against the bed rail. “I’d be lying to you if I gave you the answer you want to hear, Chris.”
Larabee was grateful for the honest answer and nodded as he looked at the sympathetic face. “Is it any easier to deal with?”
“Y...yeah. It is, but it will always be part of you. The trick is to take it and make it be a good part of you. To deal with what was done to you and to make damn sure it doesn’t destroy the man you are in here!” the doctor pointed to his patient’s chest. “I don’t know a lot about you, but I have the impression that you’re a man who doesn’t take defeat easily and I have a feeling your friends are going to be the ones to help you through this. They seem like the type of friends everyone should have.”
“Yeah, Doc, they are,” Larabee said as he looked towards the sleeping man. he knew Standish was awake, yet the man was leaving him his privacy. Chris knew anything the gambler overheard would stay in this room. “I just don’t tell them often enough.”
Barrett smiled as he followed the injured man’s gaze. “Guess maybe they already know how you feel about them, Chris, or they wouldn’t be here for you.”
“Yeah, I can be a real bastard sometimes, but for some reason they seem to think I’m worth being around.”
“You are, Chris,” Standish said as he swung his legs over the side of the folding chair. “Don’t ever forget that.”
“Thanks, Ez.”
“There’s nothing to thank me for.” Standish said as he stretched and walked the short distance to the bed.
“Chris, I want to check you over before breakfast arrives.”
“Alright, Doc. Ez, why don’t you go get some breakfast.”
“I assure you I am fine.”
“Ez,” Larabee persisted. “I’m not going anywhere. “At least go get a coffee or something.”
“This will take a while, Mr. Standish. Go get something and we should be done when you get back,” Barrett said as the day nurse came into the room.
“I won’t be long, Chris.”
“Don’t rush it. I’m not going anywhere.” Larabee smiled as the conman left the room.
“Alright, Chris, let’s take a look at you,” Barrett said as the nurse stood on the opposite side of the bed. “Sandy, would you bring me a dressing tray.”
“Yes, Dr. Barrett,” the nurse said.
Chris sank back against the pillow as the doctor did a thorough job of examining his injuries, starting with the shoulder wound. He winced as the doctor probed the surrounding area, and was glad to hear there was no sign of infection. He kept his eyes closed as they worked their way down his body. Gently touching the healing wounds and fading bruises.
“Chris, I need to sit you up a little more and listen to your lungs,” Barrett said.
“O...okay,” Larabee bit his lip as he was eased upwards and felt the cold stethoscope on his back. He listened to the doctor’s orders and was grateful when he was finally eased back down. The room was spinning and his stomach churned as he tried to breathe through the pain of his wounds.
“All done, Chris. Sandy is going to get your breakfast and the Zoloft to help your stomach.”
“Th...thanks, Doc.”
“You’re welcome and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Chris heard the doctor walking away and opened his eyes. “Doc.”
Barrett turned back to his patient and waited for Larabee to speak.
“Any chance of getting rid of the morphine pump?”
“Not for another day or so, Chris. I don’t want you in more pain than you already are.”
“Ah, hell, doc, I hate the heavy drugs.”
“So I heard...”
“From who?”
“I’ve been talking to your doctor in Billings. She said to tell you to listen to your doctor and stop trying to be so, and I’m quoting her here, ‘Damn macho all the time’.”
Larabee couldn’t help but smile as he thought of the woman who took care of The Firm’s agents whenever they ended up at Saint Vincents. “Damn woman thinks she knows what’s best for me!”
“I’d say she does know,” he said as Sandy came into the room with a covered tray and a syringe. “Make sure you rest, Chris, and if you need to talk...” He didn’t finish the offer, but he knew Larabee understood.
“Thanks, Doc, I will.” The door closed and Chris turned to watch the nurse place the syringe into the juncture in the IV line. She finished injecting the medication and disposed of it in the proper box before walking towards the door.
“Just press the button if you need anything, Mr. Larabee.”
“I will,” the blond said as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
******Chris frowned as he opened his eyes and looked around the room. Something was wrong, but at first he couldn’t place what it was. He pressed the button on the rail and slowly raised the head of the bed until he could look around the darkness. ‘Dark? Shouldn’t be this dark!’ he thought as he realized that was where the problem lay. He’d fallen asleep as soon as the nurse left and there was no way he would’ve slept through the day. Fear gripped his heart and his chest tightened as he sat forward. He sucked air into his lungs, but there didn’t seem to be enough and his head began to swim. He heard a sound on his right and turned just as something struck against his hip and he screamed as the agonizing fire rose to engulf his body. He swallowed against the pain and stared into the face of the man who’d made his life a living hell. ‘No! Goddamn you! You can’t hurt me anymore! You’re dead you bastard!’
‘If I’m dead then why can I do this, Christopher?’ Maguire asked as he lifted the crowbar and once more brought it towards Larabee’s hip.
‘NO!’******
~~~~~~~~~
The sight that met Ezra’s eyes when he re-entered Larabee’s room ten minutes after the nurse left tore at the gambler’s heart. Chris was gasping for breath and thrashing on the bed. The breakfast tray flew into the air as Larabee’s left hand connected with the table and drove it away.
“NO!”
The conman heard the terrified cry and turned towards the desk. “Get someone in here now!” he shouted as he hurried towards the bed. “Chris, it’s not real! Listen to me! Listen to my voice!”
*******
‘Listen to me, Mr. Larabee. He can’t hurt you unless you let him. You...We killed him. Remember?’
‘Ez! Killed him....we killed him. He’s dead...Maguire’s dead?’ Larabee asked the man standing beside the bed.
‘That’s right, Mr. Larabee, he’s dead and you can send him away anytime you wish. Listen to your friend calling you and this monster will disappear back to hell where he belongs.’********
“Come on, Chris, open your eyes.”
“What’s going on?” Carlyle asked as he entered the room. He’d been on his way to speak with this patient when Standish called for help.
“He’s caught up in another damn nightmare!” Standish said as Larabee’s thrashing continued.
“According to his chart this could be another flashback. Have you been able to get through to him?”
“This is not a flashback!” Standish hissed. “It’s a nightmare. He’s been having them all along. Granted this one is a little more violent than the others, but it is a nightmare and you people are not putting him in restraints again.”
“Restraints will only be used if all else fails,” Carlyle said as the door opened and two men hurried into the room.
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