colors.  Doors he’d reach out to but could not open. He knew he’d find his friends behind one of those doors but he was afraid of what he’d find behind the others.

The first and only one he’d opened had led to a room where his ‘Sitter’ stood laughing and shouting at him for being a ‘pathetic bastard’. He’d slammed that door

shut and continued to walk along the narrow corridor, hoping to find something that would tell him where he belonged.

 

“She wants to talk to you,” Jackson said as he passed the phone to the stunned nurse.

 

“Hello,” Sharon said softly. “Yes, Doctor Midland... I understand, Doctor... Are you sure... Alright...” she said as she put the phone down.

 

“Well?” Sanchez asked.

 

“Dr. Midland said you guys can act as sitters for tonight. She’ll speak with the hospital board when she comes in.”

 

“Bout time I’d say,” Wilmington mumbled.

 

“Just stay out of the nurse’s way,” Sharon warned as she walked towards Tanner’s room.

 

“Buck.”

 

“What, JD?”

 

“Is Chris alright?”

 

Wilmington shook his head as he thought of the almost vacant look in his old friend’s eyes. “I don’t know, JD. I wish to God I did but don’t,” he rubbed at his

temples in an effort to stop the building headache.

 

“Mr. Wilmington, might I suggest that you go home and endeavor to catch some sleep?”

 

“Thanks, Ez, but I need to make sure Chris and Vin are ok.”

 

“No, Brother, you need to go home and sleep. The rest of us can stay here with Chris and Vin,” Sanchez told the ladies man.

 

“Buck, you’re not going to be any good to either of them if you don’t get some rest. I know Chris and Vin are injured but let’s not forget how hard it is on all of us.

Yes all of us. It’s bad enough when a friend or family member is sick but this is even worse. Chris was tortured physically but those injuries will heal, as will Vin’s.

The problem now is the mental aspect. Chris and Vin have both been through so much emotionally that it’ll take all of us to bring them both home,” Jackson told

them.

 

“Mr. Jackson speaks the truth, Mr. Wilmington. We’re all in this together,” Standish said.

 

“I’m not going anywhere till the hospital agrees to let us sit with Chris.”

 

“Buck, when we meet with the hospital board we’re going to need you fresh. If you go in there short tempered and angry we’re not gonna get through to them,”

Sanchez said.

 

‘I have to be there,” Josiah,” Buck told him.

 

“We all do. If you won’t go home at least go to the waiting room and get some sleep.”

 

“You’ll come wake me if anything happens?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Thanks, Josiah,” Wilmington said as he walked towards the lounge.

 

Chapter 58

 

Stacey Midland looked at the still figure lying on the bed. So far nothing they tried penetrated the hell her patient was locked in. She’d watched his face for almost

fifteen minutes as he struggled with something only he could see. “Come on, Chris, it’s time to open those glaring green eyes of yours. I want you to open wake up

and talk to us,” she told him.

 

“Chris,” Susan James said, placing a soft hand on his shoulder. “I want you to tell us what you want us to do.”

 

Larabee heard the familiar voice but couldn’t get his eyes to open. ‘Don’t,’ he thought as he felt someone touch him. Slowly he forced his eyes open, snapping them

closed again when the light hurt his eyes. Finally he forced them open and looked around the room. “B...Buck,” he mumbled. ‘W...where’s Buck?’ he thought,

remembering the quiet voice speaking to him after the nightmare of hearing the hated voices. Once more he closed his eyes, hoping to escape the emptiness he felt.

 

“How do you feel, Chris?” Midland asked, not hearing the one word Larabee had spoken so softly.

 

The green eyes opened wide but didn’t seem to focus. “D...don’t want to be h...here.”

 

“Don’t want to be where, Chris?” James asked.

 

“Here. H...hospital. Don’t want to be h...here. W...want to go h...home,” Larabee turned on his side facing away from the doctors.

 

“Chris, you can’t go home right now,” Midland said.

 

“P...please. Can’t stay h...here.”

 

“Why can’t you stay here?” James asked.

 

“I h...hear things,” Larabee’s body shivered.

 

“What things?”

 

“P...people talking. Call me n...names.”

 

“What kind of names?” James asked.

 

Larabee closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than to disappear. To get away from everything that had been done to him. He knew the voice would be back. The

voice telling him that Vin knew what he’d done to Sarah and Adam. Tears came to his eyes as he remembered their screams as the flames licked at them. He

watched Sarah slap at the fire as it caught Adam’s shirt. He screamed as the waking nightmare played out in front of his eyes. Flames leaping around the two people

he loved more than life itself. The two people he’d lost because he’d dared to love them. Searing pain stabbed his head as he struggled to get to his family. “I didn’t

kill them!” he screamed, rocking back and forth on the bed as he struggled to remember. “I couldn’t hurt them. Wouldn’t kill them. Didn’t kill them,” he cried.

 

“Chris?” Midland placed her hand on his trembling shoulder, trying to get through to the traumatized man.

 

“I didn’t,” he continued to speak softly. “I didn’t kill Sarah and Adam. I couldn’t don’t you see? I loved them both. I should’ve died. Not them. Not my beautiful

Sarah. Not my little boy.”

 

“Josiah, could you talk to him?”

 

“Certainly, Dr. James,” Sanchez said as he moved to stand beside the bed. “Chris, look at me.”

 

Larabee tilted his head and gazed into the warm eyes of the ex-preacher. Shaking his head, his voice a constant whisper, “I didn’t do it, Josiah. I didn’t kill them.”

 

Sanchez dropped the side rail on the bed and sat on the edge. Reaching forward, ignoring the bandages, IV, and Ng tubing, he gently lifted the pale blond forward.

 

Chris let himself be pulled up, ignoring the pain the motion caused as he felt the strength emanating from the older man.

 

“No, Chris, you didn’t kill them,” Sanchez said as he pulled the blond head onto his shoulder, feeling the thin body trembling against him.

 

“Oh, God, J...Josiah, I m...miss them so much,” he cried, great trembling, sobs that wracked his body as he released the horror of seeing his wife and son murdered.

 

“I know you do, Brother, and they’ll be waiting for you when the time comes.”

 

“I want to be with them now.”

 

“That’s not possible right now, Brother. You’re needed here. There’s so much for you to do.”

 

Larabee closed his eyes before speaking. “I’m n...not n...needed. Always h...hurt people. I h...hurt Buck. Shut him out when t...they d...died.”

 

“Buck understands, Chris,” Sanchez assured the younger man.

 

“Does he? I d...don’t want to t...talk a...anymore, J...Josiah. I just w...want to s...sleep,” Larabee said as he pulled away from the helping hands.

 

Sanchez settled the still trembling body back against the pillows. “You go ahead and sleep, Chris, I’ll be here to keep you safe.”

 

“No o...one can keep me safe, J...Josiah,” Larabee closed his eyes and slept.

 

“Nice work, Josiah,” Midland said softly.

 

“You got him to talk and that’s good. He still has a long ways to go but it’s a step in the right direction,” James assured him.

 

“I wish I had my hands on that son of a bitch,” Sanchez swore as he dug his fingernails into the palms of his hands.

 

“That won’t help anything, Josiah. Chris needs you all right now. He needs to know that you’ll be here for him,” James explained.

 

Josiah let his shoulders slump as he stood up and grasped the edge of the bed. “Doc, you guys have got to help us,” he pleaded as he glanced at the now familiar

form of Jake Taylor. He trusted the man but he wanted Larabee’s friends to be the ones responsible for him. “We need to be the ones watching Chris, especially

after what Sharpe did.”

 

“Tony Sharpe has been suspended until he appears before the board. Even if he is reinstated he won’t be allowed anywhere near Chris,” Midland told him.

 

“Doc, we need to be here for him. He needs friends around him not strangers who don’t understand what he’s been through.”

 

“I agree,” James sighed, “and that’s exactly what I’m going to tell the board this afternoon.”

 

“You’ll back us up?”

 

“My patients come first Mr. Sanchez and I think it would be best if you and your friends provided round the clock care for Chris.”

 

“Thanks, Dr. James, at least with you in our corner we’ll have a chance.”

 

“I’ll be there as well, Josiah,” Midland told him.

 

“Never doubted that for a minute, Doc,” Sanchez assured her.

 

Jackson, Standish and Dunne stood next to Tanner’s bed as he slowly opened his eyes. “H...hi...” he croaked as the dryness in his throat caused him to cough.

 

“Here you go, Vin,” Dunne offered as he held a straw in front of Tanner’s mouth.

 

Vin drank greedily before pulling away. “Is Chris alright?”

 

“He’s sleeping, Vin. It’s what you both needed.”

 

“If I get my hands on Sharpe I’ll kill the son of a bitch,” Tanner ground out angrily.

 

“Mr. Wilmington told us what happened,” Standish said.

 

“He doesn’t know it all, Ezra. That prick was calling Chris a Pathetic bastard and telling him he’d help Chris commit suicide and telling him he was a coward for

k...killing his wife and child. Tell me he’s not gonna be allowed to stay with Chris anymore.”

 

“He’s been suspended pending a hearing with the hospital board. Vin, we’re going to meet with the board in an hour to convince them we’re the ones who should be

watching Chris,” Jackson explained.

 

“I want to be there,” Tanner told him.

 

“I talked to your doctor and he said as long as you agree to go in a wheelchair and not get too upset you can be there,” Jackson said.

 

“I can walk.”

 

“Vin!”

 

“Oh, hell, Nathan, alright.”

 

“Trust me, Mr. Sanchez, I’ll make sure he’s alright.”

 

“Jake, I’ve seen you with Chris the last few days and I do trust you. I would stay but I think it’s important we all show up at this meeting. It’s going to be hard

enough to convince them we’re right as it is.”

 

“I hope you’re successful,” Taylor said as the other man left the room. He stepped up to the bed once more and in a fatherly gesture touched the blond’s forehead.

“Your friends will be much better company for you, Chris. They know better than anyone what to do for you,” he whispered.

 

“Vin,” Larabee’s sleepy voice whispered, before he slipped back into the darkness.

 

“I’m not Vin, Son, but I have a feeling he’s the only one who can reach you and bring you all the way back,” Taylor said as he moved to his chair.

 

Chapter 59

 

“This board will now hear from Dr. Midland,” the moderator said.

 

Stacey looked at the six men seated around her, before her eyes came to rest on the pale face of Vin Tanner. She nodded to him as she took the seat in front of the

large table. The sun shining down from the overhead skylight made the room warmer than it should have been.

 

“Dr. Midland, you’re here with a request to have Chris Larabee provided with a sitter outside the hospital system.”

 

“Yes, Dr. Marlow, I think it’s important to Mr. Larabee’s recovery both mentally and physically. As you know he was the victim of a professional torturer. This man

has left scars not only on Mr. Larabee’s body but on his mind as well. I can show you the physical damage but I’ll leave the mental aspects to Dr. James. Physically

he’s been put through the proverbial wringer. His hands are still swollen from nails embedded in them, he had bamboo shoots slipped under his fingernails and we

had to remove four of them. He’s got a broken wrist and some broken ribs as well. He’s got three lacerations that needed stitching. His wrists, ankles, and neck also

have abrasions caused by the manacles and the convulsions he’s been suffering from. Those are the physical reasons and now I’d like to turn to Dr. James for the

mental reasons.”

 

“Dr. James, would you please come forward.”

 

Susan James stepped up to the table and took the seat vacated by Midland. “I’d like you all to consider what Dr. Midland told you about Mr. Larabee’s physical

condition and the events leading up to them. I’ve worked in this field for over a decade and I’ve treated torture victim’s a few times. The victim isn’t always placed

on Suicide watch but I deemed it pertinent that Mr. Larabee be placed on one. He’s not only been tortured physically and mentally but was also subjected to an

unknown drug. The drug was causing him to have severe convulsions when he was first brought in but they’ve since subsided, although he has suffered a few recently.

He’s refusing to eat, drink or take oral medications and is having severe nightmares as a result of the emotional trauma he’s suffered. He’s been convinced that he

murdered his wife and son and that the man behind the torture was none other than his best friend Vin Tanner,” she explained, her eyes falling on the pale man in the

wheelchair. “Right now he’s emotionally unstable and needs his friends close to him, not some stranger who doesn’t understand what he’s been through.”

 

“We’ve heard those arguments before, Doctor,” the moderator told her. “Is there anything else before we make our decision?”

 

“I’d like to say something,” Tanner ground out as the anger he’d been holding in check since the Sharpe incident made itself known.

 

“And you are?”

 

“Vin Tanner.”

 

The moderator’s eyes shot up, “The man supposedly responsible for what happened to Mr. Larabee?”

 

Tanner’s blue eyes turned to ice as he looked at the grey haired man before him. “I’d never hurt Chris Larabee.”

 

“Are you also the man who attacked one of out employees last night?”

 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Wilmington shouted. “Vin didn’t attack anyone!”

 

“According to Tony Sharpe,” the man seated next to the moderator said as he picked up a file. “Vin Tanner attacked him in Mr. Larabee’s room without

provocation.”

 

“And you believe him?” Sanchez asked.

 

“We have no evidence of any wrongdoing on his part.”

 

“Let me tell you what your so called employee was doing when I caught him last night!” Tanner fought to keep the anger from destroying their only chance to protect

Chris. “When I opened the door he was bent over Chris telling him that he was a pathetic bastard...”

 

“Mr. Tanner, that language will not be tolerated,” the moderator stated.

 

“And neither will that kind of treatment of my friend. He’s been through enough without being abused by one of your people who’s supposed to be protecting him.

Sharpe was repeating the same thing Whelan was filling Chris’s head with...” Tanner grimaced, his eyes opening wide as he dropped heavily into his chair.

 

“Vin?” Jackson said as he knelt in front of the pale man.

 

“Are you alright, Vin?” Midland asked, worried that letting Tanner attend the meeting had been a bad decision as he continued to pale noticeably.

 

Tanner looked at Jackson, regret and pain in his eyes. “Sharpe was telling Chris the same God damned things Whelan was. He’s got to be working for Wilcox!”

 

“Fuck, no wonder Chris reacted the way he did,” Wilmington snarled.

 

“Excuse me but would you people mind telling us what you’re talking about?” the moderator asked.

 

“Sharpe is working for the man who caused all of this,” Sanchez told the panel dryly.

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“Chris was told some pretty damning things by Whelan, the man hired by Wilcox,” Jackson explained. “None of it was true but with the drugs, the torture, and the

lack of sleep Chris was easily susceptible to those suggestions.”

 

“It’s still just Mr. Tanner’s word against Mr. Sharpe’s,” the moderator remained unconvinced.

 

“Can we take the chance that Tony Sharpe wasn’t doing what Mr. Tanner says he was doing? I’m willing to stake my reputation that Mr. Larabee needs his men, his

friends, with him right now. He needs to see familiar faces not strangers. Mr. Larabee is a smart man and he knows why Jake Taylor and Tony Sharpe were in his

room. I honestly feel that it’s in his best interests as well as the interest of this hospital to let these gentlemen take over the job of watching Chris Larabee,” James told

the board.

 

“Dr. James, we’ll discuss this amongst ourselves and let you know when we reach a decision. For now Jake Taylor will remain in Mr. Larabee’s room. Let me

finish,” the moderator said as six men and two doctors made to protest his decision. “One of you gentlemen, excluding Mr. Tanner, will be allowed to stay in the

room as well. Is that acceptable?”

 

“That’ll be fine,” Midland said, surprised at even this small bit of leniency.

 

“But...”

 

“Buck, it’s a start at least they didn’t say no,” Jackson said.

 

“Vin, I think it’s time we got you back to your room,” Midland suggested.

 

“Can I look in on Chris?”

 

“If he’s sleeping,” James told him.

 

Chapter 60

 

Vin studied the figure of his friend. He could tell Chris was dreaming by the way his eyes moved behind his lids. He smiled as he noticed the smile on the pale face.

He hoped the dreams were good ones and that Larabee’s nightmares would not be repeated.

 

Chris felt someone watching him and opened his eyes part way. He could barely make out the figure sitting outside the door to his room. ‘Vin,’ he thought and for the

first time the terror that name evoked was not present. ‘Help me, Vin,’ he thought as he saw the sharpshooter staring at him.

 

‘I’m here, Cowboy,’ Tanner thought.

 

“Vin,” Larabee’s voice whispered softly, pleading for the other man to come forward.

 

“It’s time to go back to your room, Vin,” Jackson said.

 

“Just a little longer, Nathan.”

 

“Sorry, Vin, you need to rest,” Jackson said as he turned the chair away from the door.

 

“D...don’t go,” the almost inaudible voice pleaded.

 

Taylor’s head snapped up as he heard the pleading voice from the bed. He looked to the door and noticed the two men moving away.

 

“Vin,” Larabee called again, reaching out for the lifeline that seemed to be moving further away. He closed his eyes and pleaded for the younger man to come back.

‘Vin, please, I need you,’ he thought.

 

Tanner’s head snapped up as he felt something he hadn’t felt in a while, the almost quicksilver effect of the intangible connection he had with the blond. “Nathan, get

me back there,” he gasped.

 

“Vin, you need to rest.”

 

“No, Nathan, I can feel him. He’s here,” Tanner said touching his forehead in an effort to ease the pain growing there.

 

“Mr. Jackson,” Taylor called.

 

Jackson turned and looked at the older man. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

 

“I think Chris is calling out for Mr. Tanner,” Taylor said.

 

“This could be the breakthrough we’ve been looking for,” James observed as she walked towards them, Larabee’s chart in her hands.

 

“Let me go to him,” Tanner pleaded.

 

“Vin,” James said. “I’m willing to let you go see him but the minute he starts getting agitated you’ll have to leave.”

 

“Anything, just let me go to him.”

 

“Vin,” Larabee called to his friend, pleading for him to come back. He closed his eyes and felt the loneliness close over him once again. ‘Why, Vin, why won’t you

help me?’

 

“Chris?”

 

Larabee was afraid to open his eyes, afraid the voice he heard belonged to another nightmare.

 

“Come on, Cowboy, look at me,” Tanner’s voice was soft and tinged with hope.

 

Green eyes opened halfway, the left hand reached out, the mouth opened and a cry filled with rage and pain ripped from Larabee’s throat. “Vin!” he cried and felt

the onslaught of a convulsion, his body beginning to arch upwards on the bed.

 

“Vin, you have to go!” James ordered.

 

“No!” Larabee screamed as he thrust his left arm through the railing, latching tightly to the hand he felt there.

 

“I’m here, Cowboy, I won’t let go,” Tanner’s voice filled the room with his own pain as the two men held tightly to the lifeline they’d been given.

 

James pressed the button on Larabee’s bed, calling for the nurse to bring five milligrams of Haldol as she watched her patient’s body continue to arch up on the bed.

 

“Vin, h...help m...me,” the blond gasped.

 

“Chris,” Tanner cried as he pushed the wheelchair away and stood beside the bed, his hand clutched tightly in the blond’s.

 

“No m...more,” Larabee shouted as he forced his face towards Tanner’s voice, even as his body convulsed violently.

 

James watched the nurse inserted the needle into the IV and waited for it to take affect.

 

Finally the blond’s exhausted body dropped back on the bed and he fought to get air into his lungs. “Vin, finally found the right door,” Larabee whispered, his eyes

never leaving his friends face. The nurse immediately began taking his vitals.

 

“I’m here, Chris,” Tanner said, unable to stop the tears of relief that welled in his eyes.

 

“Why, Vin?” Larabee asked, yawning as the cumulative effects of the sedative and the convulsion took it’s toll. “Why’d Whelan do this to me?”

 

“We’ll talk about that later, Chris,” James told him. “For now I want you to get some sleep.”

 

“Don’t want to sleep,” Larabee said, watching the blue eyes of his friend as a nurse once more placed nasal canulas over his head.

 

“Why?” James asked.

 

“Whelan’s there. H...he,” another yawn and Chris’ eyes closed. “He tells me Vin wants me punished.”

 

“I don’t want that, Cowboy,” Tanner whispered close to his ear.

 

Larabee forced his eyes open, fighting the lethargy caused by his overtaxed body, “I k...knew t...that all along, Vin, I just didn’t r...realize it before,” Larabee smiled

as he slipped into a dreamless sleep.

 

“Doc?”

 

James smiled at the younger man. “It’s a start, Vin, a very good start. I just don’t want you thinking everything will be fine now because it won’t. Chris reached out

for you today and I hope he continues to do so but you all need to realize it’s just the beginning. Just because he made this first step doesn’t mean he’s cured. It’s a

step in the right direction and we’ll try our best to see that he keeps going that way.”

 

“I want to stay with him.”

 

“No, Vin, you’re exhausted. Go back to your room and get some rest. You can come back later if you feel up to it,” she told him.

 

“I’ll be here,” Tanner smiled, a real smile that made it to his eyes for the first time since the ordeal began.

 

“Sit, Vin,” Jackson ordered, also letting the relief show on his face.

 

The sharpshooter’s legs felt like rubber as he lowered his body into the chair. “He’s coming back, Nathan,” he grinned as he was taken from his friends room. He

couldn’t help the smile that broadened on his face as he watched Wilmington and Dunne come towards them.

 

“Vin?” Wilmington asked, surprised at the look on the younger man’s face.

 

“Chris knows, Buck,” Tanner told him.

 

“Knows what?” Dunne asked.

 

“He knows I didn’t do this to him. He knows it wasn’t me.”

 

“How do you know,” Wilmington asked, elated at the piece of good news he’d just received.

 

“He called to me. He told me he knew all along I had nothing to do with it.”

 

“Thank God,” the ladies man smiled. “Now if the damn board would come to their senses we could make sure nothing else happens to either of you. I’m going to

stay with Chris. JD’ll stay with Vin while you get some rest, Nathan.”

 

“I am tired, Buck. I’ll go home as soon as we get Vin settled away.”

 

“Alright, Nate,” Tanner grinned.