Jake stifled a yawn as he walked over to the bed. He’d been alone with his charge since the nurses  insisted that his friends go home and get some rest. They’d had a

bit of a fight but the men had finally relented and left at nine pm. ‘You’ve got some good friends there, Son,’ he thought as the door opened and a young man

walked in.

 

“Hey, Jake, so is this one a little quieter than the last one?”

 

“Show some respect, Tony,” Taylor ordered. He wished the younger man hadn’t been assigned to work with this man. Tony was immature and had no idea what

being a sitter was all about. Unfortunately it wasn’t up to him who was assigned where.

 

“Come on, Jake, you know I was just kidding.”

 

“Yeah, well don’t. He’s got enough problems without you adding to them,” the older man snapped.

 

“You always were a softie, Jake,” Tony told him.

 

“Just do your job, Tony,” Taylor said as he headed out the door.

 

Tony Sharpe waited for the door to close and stepped up to the bed. “So you’re the big shot. Looks like Chris Larabee met his match,” he said as he lifted the

bandaged left hand and turned it around. He watched as the pale face became a mask of pain but didn’t wake up. “They did a pretty good job on you to didn’t they?

You know, Larabee, because of you I’ve lost my whole weekend. Here it is Friday night and I coulda been out with my buddies. Instead I get to sit with a weakling

who wants to take his own life. Maybe I should just bring you in a gun and let you get it over with,” he stopped as he heard footsteps approaching the room.

Dropping the injured hand back to the bed he moved to the chair just as the door opened and a nurse stepped into the room. “Hi, Kerry,” he grinned as he moved

out of her way.

 

“Hello, Tony, how are you?” she asked as she checked her patient and changed the IV and antibiotics over his head.

 

“I’m doing fine, pretty lady,” he answered.

 

“Bet you say that to all the nurses,” she stated. She checked the Morphine infusion pump and was satisfied to see it running properly. A low moan brought her

attention back to her patient just as his eyes opened and he grabbed at his stomach with his bandaged hands. “What’s wrong, Chris?” she asked.

 

“H...hurts,” he answered, grimacing as severe cramps struck his stomach.

 

“What hurts, Chris?”

 

“S...stomach, h...hurts bad.”

 

Kerry checked the rate on the Isosource pump and noted that it was set at Fifty ccs per hour. She looked at his chart and saw that the rate had changed a little over

four hours ago. “Hang on, Chris, I’m gonna put a call in to the doctor,” she told him.

 

“Ok,” he groaned as she left the room.

 

“You know you’re a real mess,” Tony declared as he approached the bed again.

 

Chris ignored the kid who stood next to his bed. His stomach felt as if it was on fire and he tried to curl into a ball.

 

Tony smiled at the suffering figure on the bed. ‘Don’t worry, Larabee, sooner or later I’ll help you end it all,’ he thought, his eyes filled with insane glee.

 

Five minutes later Kerry and an older man entered the room. They walked up to the bed and the doctor checked the feeds. “Put in a call to x-ray. I want a flat plate

done immediately,” he said as he turned off the Isosource pump. “Also give him twenty mgs Losec,” he ordered. “Chris, the Losec will help you feel better.”

 

“S...sick,” his tired voice said.

 

Kerry heard the plea and shoved a small basin in front of him as the doctor lifted him forward. Chris’s stomach emptied until there was nothing but dry heaves.

Finally, even those receded and he was placed back on the pillow.

 

“Better?” Kerry asked.

 

“A l...little,” he answered.

 

“Now are you going to take this or do I have to crush it and give it to you the same way we do your other meds?” she asked as the doctor made more notes on his

charts.

 

He stared at her for a few minutes before the depression once more invaded his mind and he turned away from the helping hand. Shaking her head she gave it to him

the same way they’d given him the Zoloft when she’d first started her shift.

 

“Kerry, make sure I get the results of the x-ray as soon as they come in. I’m also making a note here to Stacey and Tom about getting a nutritionist involved as soon

as possible.”

 

“Yes, Sir, Doctor Michaels,” she answered as the doctor left the room. “Try to sleep, Chris. The Losec will start to work very quickly. Tony, call me if he needs

anything,” she told the sitter as she left the room.

 

Tony stepped up to the bed once more. “Pathetic,” he hissed. “You’re nothing but a pathetic Bastard,” he laughed as he noticed the man was sleeping.

 

Chapter 46

 

Midland, Parker, Locke, James and Kerry sat in conference in Midland’s office early the next morning.

 

“Did you start the feeds back up?” Parker asked.

 

“Yes, Sir. Doctor Michaels said the x-ray was negative and to start it back up at seven this morning.”

 

“How’s he tolerating it?”

 

“We started him back on the twenty five ccs and he’s been fine with it so far.”

 

“That’s good,” Midland said. “I see here he refused to take the Losec and you had to give it via the NG tube.”

 

“Yes, Doctor.”

 

“It appears we’ve got a long road ahead of us,” James voiced the thought running through each of their minds.

 

“We’ve got to make sure we stay on top of everything. Did you call the nutritionist, Carol?” Parker asked.

 

“Kathy will be at this afternoon’s meeting,” Locke explained.

 

“Is there anything else, Kerry?” Parker asked.

 

“No, Doctor, once the Losec took hold and the cramps and vomiting subsided he slept well.”

 

“That’s one good thing,” Midland told them.

 

“I’ll be seeing him in about an hour,” James said. “It’s important that we get him back to making decisions about his life. Have you talked to his friends about bringing

some things from his home?”

 

“They’re supposed to bring some stuff in today. I warned them against bringing anything that would upset him,” Locke said.

 

“Excellent, Carol. Now unless there’s something else I’ve got to get to my rounds,” Parker told them.

 

“That’s it for now,” James said and the meeting broke up.

 

Chapter 47

 

“Hey, Brother, how’re you feeling?”

 

“I’m fine, Josiah.”

 

“Vin, I can see you’re far from fine. Do you feel like talking about it?” Sanchez asked as he pulled a chair up to the bed.

 

Tanner had been up and walking around the room just after breakfast. He’d been able to ignore the pain in his chest and shoulder for awhile but the ache in his upper

thigh made him crawl back in his bed. He’d been dozing off when the ex-preacher stepped into the room. He stared at the older man before speaking softly. “I’ve

lost the best friend I ever had, Josiah.”

 

Sanchez heard the pain in the softly spoken words and stepped up to the bed. “Chris will get better, Vin. It may take a while but you two have a special connection

that the good Lord provided and will make whole again.”

 

“Will he? Right now I don’t think God or anyone can fix what I did to Chris,” Tanner hissed.

 

“You did nothing to Brother Chris, Son. What happened was not your fault and deep down Chris knows this. He’s just confused and in a lot of pain right now. As

soon as he’s able to face the demons haunting him he’ll remember the closeness you two share.”

 

“I wish I could believe that but I keep hearing him screaming. I keep seeing Whelan torturing him. I can’t make it stop. It’s like a movie that plays over and over and

ends with Chris...” Tanner broke off as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

 

“Ends with Chris doing what?”

 

“Ends with Chris dying, Josiah. I see it every time I close my eyes. He’s pleading with me to let him go. Pleading for me to end the pain for him. I can’t, Josiah. I

can’t make his pain stop no matter how much he wants me too.”

 

“Those are just dreams, Vin. Bad dreams, yes, but still dreams.”

 

“Then why is he on suicide watch?” Tanner asked.

 

“Who told you about that?” Sanchez asked.

 

“Nathan and Dr. James. I have a right to know, Josiah, I’m the one who put him where he is,” Tanner shouted.

 

“Vin, look it’s time to get past the feelings of guilt. You had nothing to do with what Whelan and Wilcox did. Wilcox is a twisted man and he was bent on revenge. I

know you’d rather he’d have taken it out on you but he didn’t. He knew you’d be hurt a lot more if he used Chris and he was right. If you keep blaming yourself

you’re gonna lose the best friend, make that brother you ever had. God had a reason for putting you two together. He knew Brother Chris needed someone after

Sarah and Adam and it was fate that made you find him that day.”

 

“Fate! Was it fate that I left Gary in Beirut?” Tanner gasped.

 

“No, Vin, that wasn’t fate. That was war. You were hurt and unconscious and had no way of getting him out of there. It wasn’t your fault that he was captured. It

wasn’t your fault that the terrorist group hurt him. It wasn’t your fault that he decided to change into a twisted form of the man you once knew.”

 

Tanner remained silent for a few minutes and Sanchez left him to his thoughts. “He really was a good man before Beirut,” the young man’s soft voice made Sanchez

smile.

 

“Want to tell me about him?”

 

“We went through training together. He had such a funny sense of humor. He’d find a way to laugh at any situation. He had a carefree attitude that even made me a

little nervous.”

 

Sanchez’s eyes opened wide as he smiled, “You, Vin?”

 

“Yeah me,” the younger man said with a grin. “One time he wanted to do one of those Motor cycle jumps like that Kanevil guy. The difference being that he wanted

to ride double.”

 

“I take it you were the passenger?”

 

“Yep. We did it but we wrecked the bike. Gary ended up with some busted ribs and I broke my arm. You know what he said when they released us from the

hospital?”

 

“What?”

 

“He asked if the next time he could ride behind me. He wanted to do another jump.”

 

“Did you do it?”

 

“The day they took the cast off he picked me up and we drove to the same track. The jump was already set up.”

 

“How did this one go?”

 

“We landed perfectly. That was the day we promised to always look out for each other,” his voice had taken on a pained quality again.

 

“Do you regret making that promise?”

 

“No, not really. As I said Gary was a different man back then. I’m kinda tired now, Josiah. Thanks for listening,” Tanner yawned and let his eyes close.

 

“Anytime, Brother, I’ll stay right here with you and try to keep those nightmares at bay,” Sanchez assured him as he picked up a magazine and started to read.

 

Chapter 48

 

“Good morning, Chris,” Locke said, a smile on her face as she stepped up to the quiet man’s bed. “Don’t tell me you’re still not talking to me?”

 

Larabee opened his eyes and looked at the woman standing beside him. “Why?” he asked weakly.

 

“Why what?” she asked genuinely confused at the spark of anger in his eyes.

 

“Why is he h...here?”

 

“Who?” Locke asked, trying to keep her patient talking.

 

“Him. I w...want to k...know why he’s h...here?”

 

“Doctor’s orders for now,” she told him.

 

“Tell him to get out!”

 

“I’m sorry, Chris, I can’t do that right now,” Locke answered.

 

“D...don’t need no God D...Damned sitter,” Larabee screamed at her, his voice raspy and filled with pain as his sore throat protested the abuse.

 

“He has to stay for now, Chris.”

 

“S...shoulda left me in t...the other room. D...didn’t need no s...sitter there,” Larabee’s voice returned to the weak, defeated voice they’d grown used to hearing. He

closed his eyes but opened them quickly as his mind once more returned to the horror of the warehouse.

 

“We’re gonna start you on Physio today, Chris,” she told him, shaking her head as he returned to the silence he’d hidden behind for over a week. “I have to call them

and let them know the best time. Would you like them to come before or after lunch?” she asked and still received no answer. “Well I guess I’ll have to decide for

now. I’ll have them come up now before lunch. You can let me know if you’d rather it be after lunch when you’re ready too.”

 

Larabee listened to the nurse but refused to answer. He knew the grey haired man in the chair across the room was what the hospital sometimes termed a sitter. He

also knew why they’d assigned the man to him. They were considering him a suicide risk. Tears filled his eyes as he realized they were probably right. The guilt he felt

over the death of his wife and son continued to gnaw at him. ‘Sarah, I want to be with you both so much,’ he thought. As soon as that thought entered his mind it

was driven away by the voice of Whelan. ‘You deserve to die for what you did to them, Chris. You murdered them and you’ll never be with them again.’

 

“No,” he whispered softly.

 

“No what, Chris?” Locke asked as she began treating his hands and fingers. She’d called Physio while he’d been quiet. They were on their way up and she wanted

him ready for their arrival.

 

She had no idea that her patient wasn’t hearing her. He was once more caught up in the never ending nightmare world of pain and terror caused by Whelan and

Wilcox. He felt her lift his hands and begin removing the gauze. His fingers throbbed painfully as she immersed them in the saline solution.

 

Locke watched her patient’s face and saw the changes in his features. Most of the time he was either in pain or filled with sorrow. She looked up as a middle aged

woman entered the room. Recognizing one of the techs from Physio she smiled, “Hi, Peggy,”

 

“Carol.”

 

“Chris, Peggy is here from the physiotherapy department. She’s going to work with you and see about getting you mobile again,” Carol explained.

 

Peggy had read his file and knew he was uncooperative right now. She knew what his injuries were and hoped she’d be able to get him working with her instead of

against her. She placed his chart on the bedside table and began speaking to the injured man. “Hello, Chris, I’m here to help you and I hope you’ll help me as well.

I’m not going to lie to you it’s going to hurt but we have to get you moving,” she told him as she reached down and took his left hand. Slowly she manipulated his

fingers, moving each one in spite of the obvious pain he was in. “Carol?”

 

“Yes, Peggy?”

 

“How long before he can have something for pain?”

 

“I can give him a shot of morphine right now,” Locke answered and readied the syringe as Peggy nodded. Carol used an alcohol swab and wiped at the IV juncture

before placing the syringe into it and delivering the meds.

 

Peggy waited a couple of minutes before picking his left hand up again. She gently worked his wrist back and forth then continued to his elbow and shoulder,

carefully working around the bulky bandage covering his arm just above the elbow.

 

Chris kept his eyes closed against the re-awakening pain caused by the woman. The morphine injection helped but he could still feel the residual effects of what she

was doing. He felt her hands move from his upper body to his legs and cried out as she bent his injured right leg.

 

“Almost done, Chris,” she said as she continued down his leg to his ankle, once more avoiding the bandage on his calf. She ignored the soft moans as she worked the

muscles on his right calf and thigh. “All done,” she told him as she replaced the sheet over his sweat soaked body. “We’ve got just one other thing to do, Chris but

this one is easy. I need you to blow into this little tube here,” she said as his eyes fell on the object in her hands. “It’s important we get you using this as often as you

can. It’s great exercise for your lungs,” she watched his eyes close as he refused. “Well I guess I’ll just have to stand here and talk to you until you do it. My Mother

always said I talked too much and said little so I guess we’ll find out if she was right.”

 

Locke smiled as the therapist talked calmly to her patient. A couple of minutes passed until the blond opened his eyes and finished the final exercise. His eyes blazed

with anger as he blew into the small accordion like tube causing the tiny white ball to rise to the top.

 

“Well done, Chris,” Peggy told him as she removed the tube from his mouth and placed it on his table. “I’ll fill out my report and see that you get copies,” Peggy said

as she moved away from the bed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Chris.”

 

Locke reapplied saline soaked gauze to his hands and fingers. Once more she watched as her patient dropped off to sleep. “Jake, Let the desk know if he needs

anything at all,” she said.

 

“I will, Ma’am,” Taylor answered. Alone with the injured man he stepped up to the bed. “You still gotta long way to go, Son,” he whispered softly. “What’s this

world comin’ to when a good man like you becomes the victim of a twisted mind.”

 

Chapter 49

 

“You all know, Kathy Leonard?” Midland asked.

 

“Yes. Nice to see you again Kathy,” James remarked.

 

“You too, Susan.”

 

“How did Physio go, Carol?” Parker asked.

 

“It was hard on him. As expected he was in a great deal of pain by the time it was finished.”

 

“Peggy is one of our best. I’m sure she did a thorough job,” Midland explained. “I read her report and she feels he’ll need Physio on his hands even after he leaves

the hospital.”

 

“I’ll make a note of that and make the arrangements,” Locke assured her.

 

“I wouldn’t make the arrangements just yet, Carol. I don’t think Chris will be leaving here for a while yet,” James said.

 

“I know that, Susan, but Physio is booked weeks in advance and I want to make sure it’s already in motion,” Locke told her.

 

“I apologize, Carol, I’d forgotten how busy things are for that department.”

 

“No apology needed, Dr. James.”

 

“Kathy, you’ve looked over his chart. He’s unable to tolerate more than twenty five ccs of the Isosource. Is there something else we could do for him?” Parker

asked.

 

“Is he still refusing to take anything orally?” Leonard asked.

 

“I’m afraid so. To be honest here he’s simply waiting for death. I’ve seen torture victims literally give up in order to get rid of the memories of what they’ve gone

through. That’s part of what we’re dealing with here. Chris doesn’t want to accept help because he feels he was betrayed by a friend who he thought would help him.

He’s going to fight us every step of the way and we’re going to have to be prepared for any and all contingencies,” James explained as she poured fresh coffee into

her cup from the pot on the table.

 

“Well the faster we get him eating the better. Meanwhile keep him on an IV, make sure he’s getting the Isosource properly. We also need to watch for any signs that

his body is not getting enough of the essential elements needed to keep him alive,” Leonard explained.

 

“What we really need to do is get him trusting Vin Tanner again,” Midland observed.

 

“That’s something we’ll have to work on as well. I was in to see Vin this morning. He’s also a little depressed. I don’t think he’s at the point where he needs to be

placed on medication but he needs to see Chris in order to put some of his fears and nightmares to rest. Did you know he’s dreaming of seeing his friend’s death?”

James asked them.

 

“Vin’s doctor was supposed to be here but he was called into emergency surgery,” Midland explained. “In conference this morning he said physically Vin was doing

fine and should be able to go home in a week.”

 

“I really think we have to work on getting Chris to accept Vin’s help again. If we can’t we may lose them both. Oh, I don’t mean Vin is in danger of taking his own

life but he won’t be the same if Chris Larabee dies. He’ll let the guilt he’s already harbor fester until it’s all he can see. He already blames himself for Chris’s injuries

and it’s tearing him apart,” James said as she made notes in her charts.

 

“Well I guess we’re all in agreement on the best course of action. Buck Wilmington and JD Dunne are with Chris now. They’ve brought the things I asked them to

bring and are setting up the television as well. Wilmington is still adamant about them taking on the sitter duty,” Locke said.

 

“That’s the way these men are, Carol, they tend to look after each other. When one is injured the others, ah, what’s their words again? Oh yeah. Watch their backs,”

Midland laughed.

 

“Close group?” Leonard asked as she closed her file.

 

“That they are,” Midland answered. “Well I’ve got rounds to do so I’ll see you all at tomorrow’s meeting. Carol, if there’s any changes let me know.”

 

“Yes, Doctor,” Locke said as the meeting ended.