“You’re number cannot be completed as dialled.. Nelson slammed the phone back in its cradle and turned his attention back to the man sitting on his desk.
“You want me to what?” Lee Crane, Captain of the Submarine Seaview asked his friend and boss Admiral Harriman Nelson.
“You heard me Lee. I want you to go to Beverly Hills and visit a family named Clampett.”
“That’s what I thought you said. Do you mind telling me why?
“Not at all. You know the research campaign we’ve been working on.”
“To clean up the oceans. Yes but what has that got to do with the Clampett family?”
“I’ve been trying to reach Jed Clampett all day but I keep getting the same message, you’re number cannot be completed as dialled. God I hate that message. I think it’s time the phone company changed it,” he looked into the amused face of his friend. “What’s so funny?”
“I was just thinking how many times I’ve had the same thought.” He said, his eyes sparkling with laughter as he continued, “Ok, so why do you need to reach Mr. Clampett?”
“There seems to be a problem with his banker. I can’t get Milburn Drysdale to set up a meeting with Mr. Clampett so I can explain why we need the money. The way he’s acting you’d think the money belonged to him instead of J.D. Clampett. I’d go myself but Chip and I have to finish setting up the computer console. Please Lee, I’m not going to make it an order. It’s just that you seem to be the only one I can send. No one else understands what’s involved and how important this research is.”
Lee sat with a half grin on his face, “Swimming pools, Movie stars, Mansions, sounds more like a vacation to me. How can I turn it down? When do I leave.” he watched as Nelson’s face relaxed.
“Thank you Lee. You leave at thirteen hundred hours. I already booked your flight.” Nelson said as he handed Crane a plane ticket.
“You know me pretty well Admiral.” Crane stated.
“I know my two top officers just as well as they know me. These are the papers you need to go over with the Clampett family.” Nelson said handing the Captain a large manila envelope. “When they understand everything get them signed and come on home. Thanks again Lee, I know how you hate dealing with paperwork and what you call rich, boorish people.”
Lee Crane smiled as he walked out of Nelson’s office thinking how much he did indeed loath paperwork and high society functions, “You owe me one Admiral!” he stated as he closed the door.
Lee Crane stared in awe at the large beautiful mansion that stood at Five Eighteen Crestview Drive. The mansion was in perfect contrast to the others he had seen in the area. Where the others had beautifully manicured lawns, sculpted fences and Limousines parked along the front drives this one had animals of all kinds on their front lawn, birds all over the fences and an old rickety truck was the only vehicle in the drive. “Are you sure this is the right place?” he asked the driver.
“Yes sir Captain Crane. Five Eighteen Crestview Drive. This is the place. Should I wait Sir?”
“No. I’ll call when I have everything finished.” Lee Crane opened the door, took his overnight bag from the seat and stepped out. He walked to the door, put his bag on the step and waved to the driver. Leaving the bag where it was he turned back to the door.
“Jethro, yer gonna git it!” Elly May Clampett screamed as she chased her cousin across the room and to the front door.
Jethro knew if his tomboy cousin caught him she’d whup him a good one so he ran to the door, pulled it open and flew out the door into the unsuspecting form of a man. Jethro stared as the man fell over a bag and landed with a resounding thump on the concrete walk.
“Jethro, what did ya do?” Elly asked, forgetting all about the fact that she had been chasing her cousin again.
“I dunno. He just tumbled over hisself and his bag. Looks like you’d better fetch Granny. He might be needin doctorin. Hope he ain’t dead.”
“What in tarnation’s goin on ere. Who is dis young fella and what happened to him?” Jed Clampett asked as he stepped out the door and glimpsed the unconscious man.
“Jethro knocked im over Pa. He jus ran right inta im.” Elly said while making faces at her cousin.
“I didn’t see im Uncle Jed. I opened da door and there he was. Weren’t my fault. My dumb girl cousin shouldna been chasin me.”
“Don’t you be callin me dumb,” Elly tried to grab the object of her anger but her father stopped her. “Now you two stop. Elly go fetch Granny. She’s out at the cee-ment pond makin lye soap and smoking crawdads.”
“Yes Pa.” Elly said as she went to find Granny.
Just as Jed Clampett stooped down to check on the injured man he heard a low moan escape from his lips. “Don’t move young feller, ya might hurt yerself worse. Granny’s on the way.”
“MMM, what happened?” Lee Crane asked without opening his eyes.
“Jethro bowled ya over and we’re waitin for Granny to come take a look at ya. So you just lay still now ya ere.” Jed told him.
Lee Crane put his hand to the back of his head and tried to pull himself up. “Have to see someone,” he said groaning at the hammering he heard in his head.
Granny came running threw the doors with her bag in her hands, “What is it Jed?” she asked kneeling beside her son in law.
“Jethro ran this ere fella over.”
“Jethro you big oaf. How many times ave I tole you to watch where you’re goin?” Now young feller, let’s ave a look at ya.” Using her hands she felt around the back of his head. “That’s a big lump you got yerself. Jethro hep your uncle tote im up to the company room.”
“I...I can walk Ma’am.” Crane told her.
“Nonsense. Jed and Jethro kin lift ya. Yer head took a bad knock and I betcha yer seein double.” Granny said with a grin. “Now do as I say Jed. Tote im upstairs and git him inta bed and put one a yer nightshirts on im.”
“You heard Granny.” Jed told Jethro as he picked the man up by the feet. Jethro picked the Seaview Captain up by the arms and helped carry him up the stairs to his room. They dressed the man in one of Jed’s nightshirts and hung his suit in the closet.
“Uncle Jed. Who do ya think he is?” Jethro asked curious about the man he’d injured, albeit accidentally.
“I dunno Jethro. We’ll ave to wait and see.”
Granny came into the room with a bottle marked XXX and she poured a small amount into a glass. “Hold im up Jed, have to git im to drink this.” Jed Clampett did as she told him and Granny watched as the young man tried to open his eyes. “Ere ya go young feller. This’ll take care of the poundin in yer head and hep you get some rest. That’s it drink er down.”
Lee Crane swallowed the fiery tasting liquid and began coughing as it burned a path down to his stomach. When he could finally breathe he turned to the little woman and asked, ‘what was that stuff?”
“That’ll cure whatever ails ya. This ere is Granny’s own Ruma-tiz medicine. Now you jus close yer eyes and rest. I’ll be back to check on you shortly. And don’t be hankerin to get outta bed, cause that stuff’s gonna knock ya out right and proper.’
Lee Crane felt his eyes closing and realized what the woman told him was right. He was very tired but at least his head wasn’t hurting as much. “Good Night.” He said as he turned on his side and slept.
“Tole ya it’d put im out. He’ll sleep most of the day and night now. Let my patient rest. Get out all a ya. I’ll keep checkin im. Jethro go finish yer chores.”
“But Granny, us sophisticated playboys don’t do chores.”
“Don’t you be sassin me boy. You get them chores done or I’ll take a switch to ya right now.”
“Yes’m Granny,” a disappointed Jethro said as he hurried out of the room.
Chip Morton finished connecting the new deluxe printer to the computer in the control room and stood up. His back ached from lying under the console and he stretched smiling as he heard and felt the telltale cracking of his spine. “OH, that felt good,” he said smiling at Harriman Nelson.
“I bet it did. How much more do you have to do before the thing works properly?” Nelson asked.
“Well let’s see. We started yesterday and I’ll be finished this afternoon. I’d say that’s pretty efficient.” Morton said with a grin.
“I’ve never known you to pat your own back Chip even when you deserve it. I think it’s time I stopped the praise I’ve been giving you.” Nelson laughed at the chagrined look on his friends face. “Don’t worry Chip, if I ever stop the compliments it would mean that you really didn’t deserve them in the first place. I give praise when it’s due. You should know that by now.”
“Thank you Sir,” he said an amused smile back on his face. “Have you heard from Lee yet?”
“No. But it’s only been twenty- four hours. He’s probably trying to set up a meeting with the Clampett family.”
“What are the Clampett’s like?”
“I haven’t got a clue. The last time I was supposed to meet with them they cancelled at the last minute and I had to meet with their financial advisor, who also happens to be their banker. The man is a moneygrubber in the worse sense of the word. I’ve been wondering if he even set up a meeting with the family. I hope Lee stays away from him and deals directly with the Clampetts.”
“What’s a money grubber?” Morton asked.
“A money grubber is someone who won’t let go of a dollar to save his own life. Whether it’s his money or someone else’s. J.D. Clampett has over twenty-five million dollars in the Drysdale bank and Milburn Drysdale plans to keep it that way. I think that’s why the family wasn’t at the meeting. It’s also why I sent Lee. If he can get to the Clampett’s maybe he can convince them that investing in the oceans is a way of securing a future.”
“Twenty-five million! That’s a lot of money.” Chip stated.
“It certainly is and it’s about time that people who can afford it started investing in the things we need to keep this planet healthy.”
“I agree Admiral. I must say I’m also a bit envious of Lee. He’s in a rich Beverly Hills neighbourhood filled with beautiful starlets and parties. I bet he finagled himself an invite to one last night while we’ve been working to get this thing hooked up. He’s probably got dates set up for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I must say he is a lucky man.” Chip Morton grinned mischievously at Nelson.
“Maybe I should have gone myself.” Nelson added with a laugh.
Lee Crane opened his eyes to an unknown world. He knew he was in a bedroom but that was all he could recall. There was a dull pounding in the back of his head but he had no idea where it was coming from. He watched as a spry old lady came to his bed and smiled good-naturedly at him.
“Howdy young fella. How are ya feelin this mornin?” Granny asked.
“Hello Ma’am. I seem to have a bit of a headache,” he told her.
“Make no wonder. The way Jethro plowed inta ya.” Granny explained. “I don’t want to keep callin ya young fella. Wanna tell me yer name?”
Crane looked around the room trying to understand who he was and why he was here. Nothing seemed to make sense. He couldn’t remember anything. “I...I don’t know. I can’t remember.” He told her, a nervous, bewildered look on his face.
Granny looked at the young man worriedly. “Musta scrambled yer brains some when ya hit the ground. Don’t worry it’ll come back to ya. You just ave ta take it easy and give yer brains time to settle back where they belong.”
Crane wondered if she was right and closed his eyes. Suddenly he realized he really needed to go to the washroom. “Ma’am, I need to use your bathroom.”
“Ya don’t need ta be takin a bath right now. Ya need to be restin yer head and sleepin.”
“No Ma’am not to bathe but I have to go.” Lee reiterated as he slid his legs over the side of the bed. ‘This don’t seem right,’ he thought as he looked at the unfamiliar nightshirt he was wearing.
“OH!” Granny exclaimed. “Let me get Jed ta hep ya.”
“I think I can manage on my own,” Lee said, not sounding at all confident.
“Oh no ya don’t. Ya stay put. I’ll be right back.” Granny left the room and returned with her son in law. Together they helped the young man out of bed and into the indoor washroom. “Just holler when yer done and we’ll hep ya back ta bed.”
“Yes Ma’am,” Crane said as he closed the door gently.
“How is he Granny?” Jed asked.
“Poor fella can’t even remember who he is. Musta hit his head a good one.”
“Maybe we kin check his suit, see if he has something in it that’ll tell us who he is.”
“Good idea Jed.” Granny smiled as the door opened and the young man came out, “let’s get you back ta bed where ya belong.”
“I’m ok Ma’am. I’d like to stay up. What time is it?” Lee Crane asked.
“You’ve been sleepin fer pert near sixteen hours. It’s almost five in the mornin. If ya really feel up ta it ya kin come have breakfast with us. I took in a pair of Jethro’s old cut offs and shirt. Ya take yer time and put im on. Jed’ll wait outside yer door fer ya. Do ya mind if I check yer suit to see if there’s something that’ll tell us who ya are. Or you kin do it yerself.” Granny told him.
“Where is my suit?” Crane asked shaking his head in confusion.
“In that closet. You just set yerself down and I’ll fetch it to ya,” Jed told the young man as he went to the closet and brought out a blue uniform. “Look familiar to ya?” he asked.
Crane shook his head, “I can’t say that it does,” he said taking the suit and reaching into a pocket. He pulled out a black leather wallet and opened it to reveal a picture of him in uniform. “It says my name is Lee Crane. It doesn’t even sound familiar.” He told them in a bewildered voice.
“It’s ok, at least we got something ta call you instead of young fella. Get dressed and come on down ta breakfast.” Granny said as she led Jed out the door.
“What is it Granny?” Jed asked as she eased the door shut behind them.
“Jed ever hear tell of the family of Cranes livin over towards Pearl’s place.”
“Come ta think of it yeah. They were one of the poorest families in the hills.”
“That’s the ones. I recollect hearin one of the older sons ran away. I think his name was Leroy.”
“The dickens you say.” Jed exclaimed.
“I’m sure Jed. Look at him. Skinny runt like him still must be poor. We should keep im here and give him some real food. He’s probably been working in some factry from dawn till dusk and don’t eat enough ta keep a bird alive. Let alone a full grown man.”
“If yer right Granny we should write his family and let em know he’s here.”
“How can we find out fer sure? I wouldn’t wanna get the families hope up and then he turns out ta be the wrong one.”
“Let’s give him a chance ta see if his memory returns on its own. That’ll give you a chance ta put a little meat on his bones.”
Granny smiled as the door opened and Crane came out dressed in Jethro’s old clothes. They were still a little loose but she’d soon do something about that. “Can I call ya Leroy?” she asked linking her arm through his and heading for the stairs.
“Leroy, but my card says my name is Lee.”
“I know it does but Lee is short fer Leroy so maybe if we call you that yer memory will come back.” Granny said reassuringly.
“Makes sense Ma’am,” Crane said.
“Call me Granny, everybody does.” She said with a grin.
“Yes Ma’am, I mean Granny.” He said smiling.
‘That smile would melt the ice off even Mrs. Drysdale’s heart,’ Granny thought as she made him sit at the table.
Lee looked at the plate in front of him and frowned, “What is all this?” he asked curiously.
“That there’s pickled buzzard eggs and grits.” Jethro told him. “Thems good fer ya. Granny makes the best vittles around.”
“That’s the fella that run you over yesterday. Jethro Bodine’s his name. The young lady is my granddaughter Elly May Clampett.”
She was indeed lovely, long blonde hair, beautiful eyes that lit up when she smiled, and from what he could see a well formed curvaceous body. Lee smiled at her as he picked up his fork and put a small taste of the grits in his mouth. After a few seconds he started to chew and found they were palatable. He looked at the buzzard eggs but just couldn’t bring himself to taste them. Pushing the plate away he looked at Granny, “Thank you Granny. Can’t remember ever having grits before. They were good.”
“I’m sure yer mother made grits all the time.” Granny laughed.
“I don’t remember but they couldn’t have been this good.”
“Thank you Leroy. Jethro is gonna run Jed to the store and buy you something to wear. Can’t ave ya runnin around with just one set of clothes.” Suddenly there was a loud musical sound and Granny said, “Companies here. I’ll get the door,” she said leaving the others alone.
“Strange thing that. Every time we hear that music someone comes to the front door.” Jed explained.
“That is strange,” Lee Crane agreed. He looked up as Granny came back into the room followed by a man and a woman.
“Leroy. This here is Mr. Milburn Drysdale and Miss Jane Hathaway. He runs the bank where Jed keeps all his millions. This here young fella is Leroy Crane.”
“Hello Leroy,” Drysdale said barely acknowledging the newcomer in the faded cut-off Levis and one of Jethro’s old checked shirts.
Crane held out his hand and Drysdale barely touched it.
“Mr. Clampett, I need to speak with you for a few minutes.”
“Sure sit down and join us fer vittles. Granny made extra.” Jed told them standing to pull out a chair for Miss Jane.
“No, no that’s ok Mr. Clampett. We have a early meeting but I had to see you first.”
“Well set down and tell me why yer here.”
“Can we talk in front of him?” Drysdale asked, looking at Lee suspiciously.
“Of course. Leroy’s practically family.” Granny said quickly.
Jane Hathaway sat in the chair next to Lee Crane and stared lustfully at the Clampetts gorgeous guest. His black hair was dishevelled and curly, he was very lean but she got the sense that he could handle himself in any situation. The cut offs and shirt that Drysdale had looked upon with disdain only added to his attractiveness. He lifted his face and smiled at her and she felt her knees go weak. He was her vision of the perfect male. Even Dash Riprock couldn’t hold a candle to this man before her. “Hello Leroy.” She said.
“Hello,” Lee answered back.
“Leroy, want to hep me slop the hogs?” Jethro asked, hoping he’d have help with his chores.
“Now Jethro, Leroy’s done hurt his head. You let him be and do yer own chores. Now git.”
“Yes sir Uncle Jed.” Jethro said running out the door.
“Now what did you want to see me bout Mr. Drysdale.”
Drysdale looked again at the newcomer and figured from the way he was dressed he must have been part of the family. “I have some news about the Grunions,” he began as he looked directly at Granny.
“What’s a Grunion?” Lee Crane asked curiously.
“Land O’ Goshen!” Granny exclaimed in surprise. “Grunions is from the island of Grun. Once in a while they decide to invade us and we have to fight them. How do ya know they’s comin?” she asked turning her attention back to Drysdale.
“I read it in some papers. They could be wearing different clothes from last time, trying to disguise themselves. These ones are said to have gotten hold of some real nice suits. So you have to be real careful Granny.”
“I got me a hankerin’ ta catch me some Grunions.” Granny said with a grin. “We run em off last time and we’ll do it again. When are ya expectin em ta get ere?”
“Watch for them over the next few days. Remember what I said. If someone comes to the door wearing a suit and you don’t know him or her. They are more than likely from Grun.” Drysdale said, a smirk on his face. He knew he was telling the woman exactly what she wanted to hear.
Jane Hathaway held her tongue in check. She knew that Milburn Drysdale was trying to keep a man named Admiral Harriman Nelson away from this family of Hillbillies. Milburn Drysdale was a tightwad. He hated letting his clients take their money out of his bank once it was in there. Nelson was the man Drysdale was referring to as a Grunion. This naive family wouldn’t hurt the man but he would be in for a hard time. She wished there was something more she could do but her job was on the line.
“Thank you Mr. Drysdale. We’ll be ready fer em.” Granny said. “Go fetch yer gun Jed. We’ll ave to oil em up and get the others ready as well.”
“Calm down Granny. Ya know we’re not gonna shoot any one in Beverly Hills. Thank you Mr. Drysdale, Miss Jane. We’ll keep watchin fer em.”
“Be careful Mr. Clampett. Remember the Grunions are sneaky. They’ll tell you almost anything.”
“We will. Good day to you,” he said as the two guests got up to leave.
Jethro had returned and the whole family was busily discussing their best options. Granny wanted to tar and feather them before sending them back to the island of Grun. Jethro and Elly May were in full agreement but Uncle Jed wanted to wait until they were sure what the Grunions planned to do.
Lee Crane’s head was beginning to ache once again and he excused himself from the table. Granny followed him up the stairs with a small glass of the Ruma-tiz medicine in his hand.
“Take this Leroy. Doctor Granny’s orders.” She said smiling at the young man.
Lee Crane swallowed the fiery liquid in one quick gulp and lay down on top of the bed. His eyes closed and he was soon sleeping soundly. Granny looked at the newcomer hoping that she had found the Crane families lost son.
“Elly May, you know what ta do if one of them Grunions comes ta the door?” Granny asked her granddaughter.
“Dumb girl cousins don’t know nothin Granny,” Jethro stated.
“You take that back Jethro or I’m gonna whup you good.” Elly may yelled angrily.
“That’s enough Elly May. Now you best be apologisin to yer cousin right now boy or she won’t be the only one that whup’s you.”
“But Uncle Jed. We sophisticated playboys caint apologise to no girls. It’ll ruin our reputation.”
“Do it Jethro or get yerself to the woodshed!” Jed Clampett said sternly.
“Sorry Elly,” Jethro said in a low voice.
“Now let’s get back to what we do about this ere invasion. I don’t want nobody shootin’ at the Grunions. You kin take em prisoner but absolutely no shootin’” Jed Clampett stated firmly.
“But Jed what if they shoot first?” Granny asked.
“We’ll deal with that if ‘n when it happens. No shootin. Where’s Leroy?” Jed asked curiously.
“Still dead to the world up in his room. I’m worried about him Jed. He musta rattled his brains really good. Hopefully the headaches will start to fade soon. Boy has he takin a hankerin to my Ruma-tiz medicine. Seems to take away the headache real good.” Granny laughed.
“I bet it does. Hopefully he won’t wake with a hangover,” laughed Jed.
“Well that’s it Admiral. Everything’s up and running.” Chip Morton told his superior.
“Great job Chip. Now if Lee would only call with good news from his end.”
“You still haven’t heard from him,” Chip said growing concerned.
“Not since he left. That’s nearly two days ago. I hope he’s all right.” Nelson said beginning to worry over Lee’s failure to stay in contact.
“Why don’t we take a little trip to Beverly Hills and check up on our Captain.” Morton asked the beginnings of a plan forming in his mind. ‘Vacation in a rich neighbourhood. I can handle that,’ he thought with a grin.
“What are you thinking Chip?”
“I was thinking how much I need a vacation and Beverly Hills sounds like as good a place as any. Why should Lee have all the fun?”
Nelson laughed at the younger officer and shook his head. “All right Chip, but we leave tomorrow morning. That’ll give him enough time to finish the job I sent him to do. He’s only in Beverly Hills. Not much can happen to him there.”
“Admiral, this is Lee Crane we’re talking about. The man who can injure himself getting out of bed,” Morton said and suddenly both men were laughing hysterically.
“That’s so true Chip. Just don’t ever say it to his face.”
Lee Crane opened his eyes and stared into the face of a monkey. He sat bolt upright in bed knocking the little animal to the floor.
The little monkey made a sound of pain and Elly May Clampett came running into the room. She bent down and picked the monkey up. As she did the monkey wrapped her arms around her. “Betsy are you ok?” she asked cuddling the whining monkey.
“I’m terribly sorry. Is she all right?” Crane asked, getting up off the bed and walking over to Elly May. He was astounded by this girl’s beauty. She wore a simple blue cotton dress with puffed sleeves. White flower shaped buttons ran halfway down the front to end at her slim waist. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail revealing a face devoid of make up but radiating a natural beauty.
“Betsy’s fine Leroy. Tweren’t yer fault. She usually sleeps in ere and was probably just checkin you out.” Elly told him.
“I’m sorry Betsy. I didn’t know it was your bed,” he said looking into the monkey’s eyes, a smile on his face.
‘He is kinda good-looking,’ Elly May thought. ‘Maybe he’ll try to steal a kiss and I’ll let him. NO way,’ she thought when she realized she’d been daydreaming. “You better get outta ere Elly, before you kiss him yerself.’
“Is something wrong Miss Clampett?”
“N....Nothin Leroy. Why don’t ya call me Elly?” she asked trying to divert her thoughts.
“Ok Elly. I am sorry about Betsy. Hope I didn’t hurt her,” Crane said looking into Elly’s eyes.
Suddenly Betsy, who’d been looking at the stranger, reached out and wrapped her arms around Lee Crane’s neck.
“Looks like she’s takin a shine to ya Leroy.” Elly said and suddenly remembered why she’d come up, “Granny sent me up ta tell ya vittles are ready.”
“How long have I been sleeping?” Lee asked as he carried the monkey out of the room and down the stairs.
“You’ve been sleepin near on seven hours. Granny said ya needed ta rest.” Elly explained.
“I guess so,” Crane agreed as he headed for the kitchen.
“Not in there Leroy. We’re havin vittles in the fancy eatin room.”
Lee Crane followed Elly May into a room that had a large table surrounded by several chairs. The others were already seated and Elly showed him where he could sit. Before she could take her seat at the table Lee Crane stood and pulled her chair out for her, pushing it in again when she was properly seated.
“Why’d you do that Leroy, she ain’t nothing but a tomboy girl.” Jethro said with a laugh.
“Now you be quiet Jethro or I’ll take a switch to you.” Granny said silencing the boy. “You’d do well to learn some things from Leroy, and give up that playboy foolishness.”
“Ahh, Granny. I’m a sophisticated Playboy and we have to pick on our dumb girl cousins.”
“I don’t believe your cousin is dumb. I think she is quite beautiful.” Lee told Jethro seriously.
“Thank you Leroy. Yer kinda good lookin yerself.” Elly said before she could stop herself.
“Elly’s got a crush, Elly’s got a crush!” Jethro started to chant and laugh at his cousins glowing red cheeks.
“So hep me Jethro, I’ll make you pay.”
“Jethro Bodine!” Jed Clampett exclaimed. “One more word and ya lose yer supper and I’ll smoke yer haunches.”
Jethro remained quiet and Jed began to pass the food around using the fancy pot passers. Lee looked at the food that was passed his way but didn’t recognize what was being offered. Shaking his head he began to explain his problem. “I’m sorry Granny. I just don’t know what this is.”
“Don’t be silly Leroy. I keep forgettin you’ve lost yer memory. The one Jed is holdin fer you is possum stew and biscuits, fer dessert there’s Paw-paws. Eat hearty cause you need ta get some meat on yer bones.”
“Doc’s always telling me that.”
“Who’s Doc?” Jethro asked.
“I don’t know.” Crane said drawing a blank on where he’d heard the name. He watched what the others were doing and placed his cup in the hole next to him, ‘This is not what this table was meant for,’ he thought. ‘Then again what would I know?’
“Don’t worry none Leroy. It’ll come back ta you.” Jed Clampett encouraged him.
“Will it Mr. Clampett? I just don’t know.” Lee said shaking his head.
“Maybe if we asked ya some questions something will come back to ya.” Elly suggested.
“Can’t hurt,” Crane said as he moved the food around on his plate without touching it.
“Do ya remember where ya come from?” Granny asked and Lee shook his head .
“Are ya from the hills around Bug Tussel?” Jed asked.
“I don’t know.” Crane answered to sharply. “I’m sorry. Please carry on.”
“Are you related to Jebediah and Rachel Crane from the hills?” Granny asked.
Lee held his head as his head began to pound again, “I’m sorry, none of this sounds familiar,” he said pushing his untouched plate away he excused himself and went back to his room. He closed his eyes and was soon dreaming of another life on board a Submarine.
“Poor boy,” Jed exclaimed.
“He didn’t touch nary a bite.” Granny said shaking her head. “How am I gonna put some meat on his bones if he don’t eat nothing.”
“Ya can’t force him to eat Granny.”
“I know that Jed. I just want ta hep him.”
“Yer doin everthin a good doctor does fer her patient.”
“Thank ya Jed. Let’s finish up and get some sleep. Those Grunions could show up at any time and we have ta be ready fer em.”
“You just remember what I told ya. No shootin.”
“But Jed.”
“No buts Granny and that goes fer the young uns as well.” Jed told them firmly.
Granny, Jethro and Elly May turned back to the vittles in disappointment.
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