Quotes
Season Two
WHEN SHE WAS BAD
"Well, what else do you wanna do? We already played rock, paper, scissors. My hands cramped up."
"Well, yes, if you're always scissors of course your tendons are gonna strain..."
-Xander and Willow
SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED
"Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies."
-Buffy
SCHOOL HARD
"Oh, please! If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock. . . . I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move."
-Spike
INCA MUMMY GIRL
"What does a girl have to do to impress you?"
"Well, it involves a feathered boa and a theme to 'A Summer Place'. I can't discuss it here."
-Devon and Oz
REPTILE BOY
"Well... Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure! I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever! You don't have time for a cup of coffee?!"
-Willow
HALLOWEEN
"Oh, he's a vampire. Of course! But the cuddly kind. Like a Carebear with fangs? . . . You know what I think? I just think you're trying to scare me off 'cause you're afraid of the competition. Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer."
-Cordelia
LIE TO ME
"If Angel's doing somethin' wrong, I wanna know. 'Cause it gives me a happy!"
-Xander
"It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room listening to that Divinyls song 'I Touch Myself'. Of course, I had no idea what it was about."
-Buffy
"I'm so the 'Net girl."
-Willow
THE DARK AGE
"Must we have this noise during your calisthenics?"
"It's not noise! It's music!"
"I know music. Music has notes. This is noise."
"I'm aerobicising! I must have a beat!"
"Wonderful. You work on your muscle tone while my brain dribbles out of my ears."
-Giles and Buffy
WHAT'S MY LINE (PART 1)
"No, Angel, it's not you. You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. I just get messed sometimes. I wish we could be regular kids."
"Yeah. I'll never be a kid."
"Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend."
-Buffy and Angel
WHAT'S MY LINE (PART 2)
"I, I have to ask. Has either of you girls considered modeling? I have a friend with a camera? Strictly high-class nude work. You know, art photographs. But naked. You don't have to answer right away."
-Willy
TED
"Vampires are creeps."
"Yes, that's why one slays them."
-Buffy and Giles
BAD EGGS
"Oh, I told you, that faux parenting gig we're doing at school. Like I'm really planning to have kids anytime soon. Uh, maybe some day, in the future, when I'm done having a life, but... right now kids would be just a little too much to deal with."
"I wouldn't know. I don't... Well, you know, I, I can't."
"Oh. That's okay, um... I-I figured there were all sorts of things vampires couldn't do. You know, like work for the Telephone Company, or volunteer for the Red Cross, or... have little vampires."
-Buffy
SURPRISE
"Still, not every dream you have comes true. I mean, what else did you dream last night? Can you remember?"
"I dreamt... I dreamt that Giles and I opened an office supply warehouse in Vegas."
INNOCENCE
"Angel, there must be some part of you inside that still remembers who you are."
"Dream on, schoolgirl."
-Buffy and Angelus
"See my point?"
-Angel and Buffy
PHASES
"Great. I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh, yeah, 1-800-I'm-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho."
"Meow!"
"Really? Thanks. I've never gotten a 'meow' before."
-Willow and Buffy
Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered
"It's time for me to act like a man. And hide."
-Xander
PASSION
"Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping... waiting... And though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have?"
-Angelus
KILLED BY DEATH
"Frogs! Frogs! Get 'em off of me! Oh, my God, frogs! Get them off of me! Please, help! Get 'em off! FROGS! Frogs! Oh, my God, horrible frogs! Get 'em..."
-Willow
I ONLY HAVE EYES FOR YOU
"People can be coerced, Summers. I'm no stranger to conspiracy. I saw JFK. I'm a truth seeker. I've got a missing gun and two confused kids on my hands. Pieces of the puzzle. And I'm gonna look at all the pieces carefully and rationally, and I'm gonna keep looking until I know exactly how this is all your fault."
-Principal Synder
GO FISH
"That is wrong, a big, fat, spanking wrong. It's a slap in the face to every one of us who studied hard and worked long hours to earn our D's."
-Xander
BECOMING (PART 1)
"There's moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes... they're not."
-Angelus
BECOMING (PART 2)
"Giles!"
"Xander?"
"Can you walk?"
"You're not real."
"Sure, I'm real."
"It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want."
"Then why would they make you see me?"
"You're right. Let's go."
-Xander and Giles
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