13/12/00

It is a Sunday evening and tomorrow is the physics mock exam, “oh great I haven't done much revision yet, better get on with some”.
As I was trying to get on with the revision, I looked at the phone and thought to myself “I'll do the revision in a bit but first lets make a phone call”, so I picked up the phone and dialed the number.

“Hello?”
“Hello, can I speak to Hasib please?”
“Hold on a sec”.
At the background I can hear a loud voice shouting “Hasib!! Phone!!”
“ Hello?”
“ Hello Hasib, its me”
“Alright Chan what have u been up to?”
“ I am trying to do some physics revision but can’t be bothered though!”
“ I know I can’t be bothered as well!”
“ Oh yeah just want ask you, do you get the formulas with the exam paper or do you have to remember then yourself?”
“I think you’ll have to remember them yourself”
“Oh great, there are loads!”
“I know”
“Oh by the way, can I have Rebecca’s number please?”
“Hold on a sec I'll just go and get it”
“Thanks”
“The number is..............”
“ Thanks, anyway I'll be seeing you tomorrow in the physics exam ok?? Bye”
“ Ok then Chan in a bit”
“ Bye”

As soon I got off the phone, I went out to reach my mobile phone to save Rebecca’s number then I started to text her. First message:
“HI BECCA THIS IS VICTOR JUST WANNA ASK U DO WE HAVE TO REMEMBER ALL THE FORMULAS FOR 2MOROS PHYSICS EXAM? HAVE U DONE MUCH REVISION YET? I HAVENT DONE MUCH YET”

Reply from Rebecca:
“Hi we do get some provided but I think we have to remember some our self, I haven’t done much revision yet.”

Second message:
“ THX I’LL SEE YA TOMORO IN THE PHYSICS EXAM THEN K? BYE”

14/12/00

Monday morning just like any other Mondays but I have a weird feeling that today is not going to be a simple Monday. As soon as I got out of the car, I saw Tom standing inside looking out of the window; his eyes followed me as I make me way towards the entrance.

“ Hi Tom”
“ Hi”
“ Done any revision yet?”
“ Not much cause I don't like physics, I don’t care if I get a crap grade”
“ Lets go and talk to Bashar and Hasib”
“ Alright Chan done any revision yet?”
“ Yea some but not much”

As soon as I said that, I saw Rebecca approaching towards me and I quickly halt my speech and looked at her. She came over and said hi to me and Bashar and Bashar said joked with her, then she walked into the canteen, my eyes followed her as she goes in and I was relief as soon as she walked in. Then when I turned back I saw Bashar looking at me in a weird way and I thought to myself “ why is he looking at me in that way?”
During that physics exam I occasionally turned around and looked at Rebecca and all I can is her head down doing the physics exam. Near the end when everyone has finished, I turned around again and this time she saw me looking at her and she smiled at me, I smiled back. That smile was not just a normal friendly smile, it struck me pretty hard. It gave my heart a shock and that shock lasted me months. At that point I still did not realized it myself but I was actually beginning to like her. When we went out, me and Bashar were talking about that physics paper and Rebecca came along, we were talking for about 2 minutes before my heart was beating so fast that I could no longer take it but to walk away hoping that the heart beat would calm down. When we went out of the canteen, I told Hasib, Bashar that I like Rebecca. When I got home I text Rebecca, we were talking about the physics exam.
Part of that text message:
“IM TXTING U COS I WANT TO TALK TO U”

That night I was talking to Hasib on the phone and I told him that I put that bit into the text message, then his reaction was: “ you idiot, she is gonna know now that u like her”. At that time I did not mind letting her know. During the next 2 weeks I was trying to talk to Rebecca a bit more, trying to get to know her. I do not know how, but everyone just seems to know that I fancy Rebecca, it didn't bother me. One Saturday morning, me and Ian went to Manchester together. I wanted to get Rebecca a Christmas card. We went into Clintons and I was looking at the sections which says, “for the one I love”. Me and Ian were talking about which card I should get and I finally came across this card which had a “forever friends” teddy bear on it. Then the following week I have found out that Tom likes Rebecca as well. As soon as I heard that, I just knew that I am going to have competition. That following Saturday me, Tom and Ian went to Manchester again and this time Tom wanted to get Rebecca a Christmas card. Then suddenly I asked Tom out of the blue “Tom do you think I should get Rebecca a teddy bear??” Tom said, “It’s up to you but I already got her one” Then I just knew that I had to get her one. I went into a shop called “Birthdays” and got her a teddy bear that was 63 cm tall when its sat down. On the last day before we break up for Christmas holiday I gave Rebecca that teddy bear. Gennaro was laughing and I was really embarrassed.
On that night Rebecca sent me a text message saying the following:
“Thx sooo much for the teddy it was a lovely surprise thx again, enjoy ur xmas holiday loadsa love xBeckx”

On the Christmas day I was trying to ring Rebecca to say merry Christmas but she would not pick up the phone. I think she was trying not to pick up the phone. After about 10 trials I just knew that she would not pick up so I gave up on ringing her. All them nights I was praying to God hoping that something will happen one day. I had the hopes up pretty high but at the end I did not even hope at all cause I just know that nothing will happen.

8/2/01

Just another normal school day, I came back home feeling pretty tired and I decided to text Rebecca.
This is one of her text message:
“I am really excited cos its my birthday tomorow”
I received that text around 5 o’clock and there was nothing I could do. The shops would have been closed if I went out so I could not have got her anything.

9/2/01

I was felt really badly because I did not get her anything!!! I was upset and annoyed as well. That night I was playing badminton against Shaheed and I was playing really rubbish, is the fact that I did not get her anything for her birthday. It really did put me off. I kept of thinking about it over and over again, Shaheed was trying to get me to concentrate but I just simply could not.

Then that Saturday me, Tom and Ian went out to Trafford centre to get Rebecca a late birthday card saying that I was sorry and I got her Tommy Hilfiger perfume.
On that following Monday I gave her the late birthday card saying that I was sorry, then on the Wednesday I gave her the Tommy Hilfiger perfume. Everyone teased me about the brand Tommy Hilfiger. I was not bothered at all as long as she was happy.
That night I received a text message from Rebecca:
“thx sooo much for that valentine present its really nice but r sure tho it must be v.expensive.”

From time to time I did not really wanted the year to end so quickly because I want to be in the same school as Rebecca, I just know that as soon as we graduate we will be going to different colleges. That would be like a living hell to me because I would not be able to see her ever again. The day has come when we have to say “bye bye” to everyone, at that time my heart was like being stabbed by 1000 knifes, the pain cannot be described. The text messages that she sent me, I’ve kept them in my phone and I would read them over and over again. That's how much I miss her.

After the summer holidays everything went back to normal, college starts and things seem to be getting on pretty well. I thought I do not like Rebecca anymore or at least I believed I don’t anyway. Just before the half term I went to visit the college that Rebecca goes to. I wanted to see how she was doing but I couldn't find her. I never get any luck!!! When we were leaving I thought to myself “ this is it, you will never get a chance to come here again to visit her”.
As I was getting the bus home from Stockport Rebecca actually came on the bus, at that time my heart was beating really fast. I wanted to go and sit next to her but I was not brave enough to do so. I ended up not sitting next to her.
During that walk home a lot went through my head, and I’ve finally realized that I still do love her; it may not be as strong as it was before but the love is still there. May be this is God’s will. I have never ever had that sort of feeling before until I fancied Rebecca.
Hopefully I will meet her some day ... Hopefully!!!