I've decided that I am going to attempt to make this web journal thing, though I give no guarantees that it will be very good. It's in my nature to keep things that bother me locked inside, so maybe this will be therapeutic...or something like that....Mainly, I wanted a place to rant, complain, gossip, and say whatever I want, whenever. So here goes....
It's probably best to start out talking about me.. If you know me, you know I am quiet/reserved most of the time, but when I do have something to say, it'll be blunt and to the point. I think that's one of my faults though, because sometimes I say what in retrospect are the most insensitive things. If I have, I'm sorry...Anyway, I also have a crazy side (donuts in the parking lot), and I pretend to be daring (cliff-jumping)...
They say to never talk about two things: religion and politics. But personally, I find it impossible to avoid religion. Somehow, people tend to label me as an atheist (actually it comes out as an accusation)..Apparently down here in good old TN, if you aren't Christian or Jewish, you must be an atheist. But let me clarify: I am not an atheist...do I need to rephrase that? I am NOT an atheist...I don't have a label. I have had the good fortune to be raised without Christian influences, and have not been led crying to a church altar, like a sheep to slaughter, to sign my life away to Jebus. Honestly, can a five year old, or a seventeen year old for that matter, really understand what they believe? It's such a huge black hole of uncertainty, that I would feel gullible to simply go with the majority. Sometimes I wish that someone would give me some concrete evidence, WITHOUT citing the bible (duh) or chalking it up to faith. My crazy, lost mind would have it so much easier. Give me a sign!! haha....I can joke about religion constantly, but I am honestly always searching and doubting. Who are you talking to when you pray? Do you really think God's listening? How in the hell does the Creation story make any sense? I could go on forever....but for now, I remain a lost soul, a sheep separate from the flock, but with an open mind and criticism for people imposing their views...but that's another story.
Enough background....Let's talk about today...Today was good, except sometimes it's hard to judge people. And sometimes it's hard to really know what a person thinks about you..(and yes, it really does matter sometimes)...It's all so messed up and confused....Alright...
Thursday January 29, 2004
HAPPY BIRTHDAY OPRAH!!!
I'm so excited about this weekend, though I wish we would do something a little crazier than just dinner and a movie. I don't know, but this is going to be a big weekend. Position Papers, 1000 POINT History Project (HUGE! Especially since my grade is pretty bad right now), and MAJOR AUTHOR!!! I'm now regretting not doing a good rough draft, but there's nothing I can do now. For some reason, I'm in a very good mood... I don't think anything could upset me right now. Isn't it funny how a person's mood can change so quickly? (Not in a bipolar sense) But yesterday I was pretty upset, and all of a sudden, today I'm in an excellent mood.
I will probably be happy until I come back to earth, and realize really how much work I have. Oh well...more later...
Damnation. I can't get this stupid guestbook to work. grrr....
January 30, 2004
So despite the horrendous amount of work that I have to do this weekend, I managed to spend a night with friends that was entirely awesome. The Perfect Score was quite entertaining, and I almost wish we had an asian stoner at ORHS because that was by far the best character..The people that do the best on the SAT are "middle-class asian girls who watch less than one hour of TV a week"...Best line of the movie, though I blatantly misquoted. I didn't like the ending, with the cliche that the SAT doesn't really matter anyway, and the smart girl gives up on Brown. If they went through all the trouble to steal the answers, why not use them?
After the movie, we had dinner at Rubys, where I squandered away the rest of my twenty on dinner. Why do I buy shitake like I can afford it? Anyway, that was nice, because we had a true sobremesa, just talking...But the real excitement came when we saw a mini police chase over at Baskin Robbins. The police have an odd mytique about them, and anything involving the police is thrilling. Just for the hell of it, Breony and I decided to go house shopping in the opulence of wealth that exists in OR, while wasting time till curfew.
I'm sorry I have no profound revelations on anything philosophical, et cetera. However, if you happened to miss the fun (you hermit crabs you), you missed a good time, and we undoubtedly missed you...maybe....if you're especially special...Good night!
Saturday January 31, 2004
Thought o' the moment: I can't stand talking on the telephone. I can talk to someone for hours online, but ask me to hold a conversation on the phone, and I freeze up. It's that way with all my phone conversations, and it drives me crazy. That ackward silence when you wait for someone to say something...I wonder why that is. I guess we go back to what it always is, that I never know what they're thinking....sigh...why can't I read minds?
Excellent movie: Mystic River. Yet again, a wonderful evening. Rubys was fun again, I think I'm becoming something of a regular in there. We gave too good of a tip, seeing as we NEVER got drinks, but it's all good. Then the movie, another excellent pick, if I do say so myself. Though it was kinda depressing, it was wonderfully done, and with Clint Eastwood directing, you can't go wrong. I think this movie should win over Lost in Translation, just because I think Tim Robbins made a perfect performance, and I actually got sucked into the movie. Sean Penn makes a good crime boss too....sidenote, lysol didn't have any other meaning...
If no one is around to see you run a red light, is it really wrong? If a tree falls in a forest, and no one's around, does it make noise?
