Chapter Two

 ‘In my head I keep on looking back

Right back to the start

Wondering what it was that made you change.’

(What If – Kate Winslet)

‘Hey Nick? Can I ask you something?’ They were on their way back to the hotel after the show, at MTV, when Brian whispered to Nick, he tried to keep it as quiet as possible so the others in the limo couldn’t hear it.

Nick just nodded as he turned to look at his best friend.

‘Why?’ Was the only word that came from Brian, making Nick pull up his eyebrows, ‘Why what?’

‘Lots of things, why does it mean so much to you to wear Ally’s t-shirt?’ I swear you don’t want to know!  ‘Why are you still with Tiff? No offence but where is she when you need her?’ None taken Bri, I don’t know either… ‘And lastly, you’re coming to my room, tonight.’ What?! How can he think about that, when I feel like shit? And with Ally here…no way José.

‘Ally’s t-shirt; I don’t really know,’ Okay I do, I just don’t want to admit it… ‘and can we please talk about Tiffany some other time? It’s just that I’m worrying enough about other things, I don’t want to have that on top of it too.’

‘Oh and I’m not coming to your room, how can you even think about that now?!’ Nick hissed the last part, his face dangerously close to Brians.

Brian backed away slightly, ‘I was just trying to cheer you up a bit Nick, make you forget everything for a little while, you know..’

Nick just glared at Brian and turned to stare out the window. The rest of the ride went by in silence.

Okay so maybe I was a little unreasonable…He only wanted to make me feel better but still… I was so confused by everything, all these emotions, I thought I was going choke in all of it.

Ally woke up slowly, not knowing there was someone laying next to her she rolled onto her back. What the… Before she could even realize she wasn’t alone in bed there was a blond head on her chest and two arms tightly wrapped around her waist. ‘Nick,’ Ally whispered as she moved a strand of hair out of his face, ‘are you okay?’ Never would she have imagined she’d see him like this, so vulnerable.

‘Sorry I woke you up,’ Nicks sniffled.

‘You didn’t, how did things go at MTV?’

‘I totally blew it!’ Angry that he let himself break down in front of Ally, he tried to wipe away his tears but she grabbed his wrist before his hand could reach his face.

‘Let it out Nick, please don’t feel embarrassed about showing your emotions.’   

‘You think I’m stupid, don’t you?’ Nick said suddenly.

‘Of course not! Why would I possibly think that?’

‘Because I’m being stupid! Just like I was at the show, why did I have to blow up like that??’ Nick brushed her hand, which was still gently stroking his hair, away and got out of bed.

‘You are NOT being stupid Nick, remember that, whatever happens. You blew up because you care. So you acted stupid and lost control for a second, who cares!’

Ally got out of bed too. They were now each standing at one side of the bed.

‘I do! And so does the rest of the whole fucking world!! Maybe you just like to see me mess up!’

I still don’t understand why I got angry with Ally while she was just being nice and trying to help. Guess I just needed someone to let my anger out on.

A knock at the door interrupted their fight.

Nick yanked the door open, his eyes shooting draggers at whoever it was that dared to interrupt their argument.

‘God damn it Nick! You know it’s not like that!’ Ally yelled at Nicks back as he opened the door to find Kevin there.

‘I heard yelling, are you-’ Kevin stopped in the middle of his sentence when he heard yelling coming from behind Nick, ‘who’s in there with you?’

‘Ally… Kev are you here just to dissect my private life, like usually, or do you actually have a good reason for coming here?’ 

‘You know what Nick? Fuck you, I was just being friendly, seeing if you were okay, but apparently you’re fine and being the asshole you always are.’

Kevin walked off and Nick slammed the door shut, ‘Yeah right it’s not like that, I’m sure you sat here in front of the TV snickering at my behavior.’

Ally grabbed her suitcase, which had been laying under the bed for the time being, and started to take some stuff out.

‘I’m just trying to help you know, but I guess Kevin was right; you are an asshole… I’m going to take a shower and then go home, gimme a call if you feel like being the Nick I remember again.’ She was about to step into the shower but turned back, not opening the door yet, ‘Oh and for your information, Mr. Smartass, MTV isn’t broadcasting the show until 2 in the afternoon…TOMORROW!’

That was the very last thing she said to me, she didn’t even say goodbye! Then again I really had been an asshole…

I was angry, angry and confused… that’s the only explanation for my reaction towards Ally and Brian. Ally wouldn’t talk to me for a whole month so there was no way I could tell her, every time I called she hung up on me before I could say anything.

Brian on the other hand understood me completely and didn’t act any different from his normal behavior.

‘Remember the first time we shared a room?’ Brian and Nick were sitting on Nicks bed, just talking and watching TV.

‘Yeah, I was homesick… did I ever apologize for waking you up that night?’ 

‘I think you did, but it doesn’t really matter anyway, just don’t ever think you can pull that of again!’ Brian laughed.

Flashback

Nick stood in front of the wooden door which he thought was Brians.  517… that’s what he said, right? Or was it 519? Shit! Now what? 

Hesitantly he knocked, almost praying this was the right door. Come on Bri, open up…

‘Nicky? What are you doing here?’ In the doorway stood Brian, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

‘I’m uhm… well you know…’ Nicks face colored a bright red.

‘You can come in, but then you have to tell me what’s up, okay?’

End Flashback

‘I can’t believe I imposed on you like that!’ Nick said.

‘Imposed? Ally been learning you fancy words my mate?’ Brian said in an Irish accent and laughed at his younger friend.

Nick blushed at first but then bowed his head at the mentioning of Ally’s name.

‘You should call her, man. Apologize, explain it wasn’t anything personal…’

‘I can’t, I tried, but she just hangs up on me.’

Chapter Three
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