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Claire's eyes opened and she stared at her bedroom ceiling. Her hand touched her mouth to find that she was smiling and her heart was pounding. She sat up and placed both hands on her stomach. Nearly three months pregnant now and still no memory of how she had become that way. But slowly things were coming back. Her dreams told her all she needed to know.
She remembered Lindsey asking her to marry him. It was a good memory, something she wished she had never forgotten. But it was strange too, to feel this love flood her, to love him and still not really know him. It was hard to understand.
She remembered Lindsey's proposal, but she remembered other things, other parts of her life that didn't fit in with the life she apparently had. Claire frowned and shook her head. Did someone give her other memories? Why didn't anything fit?
Claire still hadn't talked to Lindsey about what was going on. She was scared he would think she was crazy. She loved him so much, she didn't want to risk losing him already, before she had even had the chance to tell him. Her memories came strong some nights, many dreams in the same hour. Other nights she didn't have any. But they were coming in steady waves now and she was remembering more and more.
She smiled again. Soon she would talk to him. Gunn and his friend Angel had promised they would help her and she knew they would do all they could. For now, all she could do was go back to sleep and hope for another happy memory.
Lindsey watched Claire as she stood in the court room, delivering her final argument to the judge and jury. She was good, he had to admit that Lilah was right, she was really good. She could easily handle his old job as junior partner.
But that wasn't what he had gone there to look at. He had gone there to watch her, study her and see if she remembered anything else. He was talking with Gunn on a regular basis now, but he younger man felt as if he was betraying Claire by telling Lindsey what she remembered. He wanted her to say it.
She was wearing a dark blue skirt and jacket over a white blouse and Lindsey could see the slight bulge of her stomach. She was beginning to show physical signs of her pregnancy, although it was well hidden by the jacket she wore. She paced the court room, using her hands to help her express her points. Her blonde hair was half up, a few wavy strands escaping to fall against her face, which she brushed back impatiently. Her brown eyes were calm, focused, betraying nothing of what she felt. Occasionally, she raised one of her eyebrows as she spoke and Lindsey sighed painfully.
Everything she did, he remembered.
The judge nodded, the jury left and Lindsey let himself hear things again. Claire took the seat next to him and she smiled.
"How'd I do?" She asked.
He smiled back. "You're good. I think you nailed this."
"Thanks." She brushed back her hair. "I think we need to talk about something." She said.
Lindsey glanced at her. "About . . . what?"
"Things that are best not mentioned here." Claire's eyes darted to see Lilah walking toward them. "She doesn't want me to know anything, but I do. Please meet me Saturday at my apartment. You can find out where it is using my file. Noon is a good time for me, what about you?"
Lindsey nodded, slightly shocked. "Yeah, noon is fine. I'll be there."
Claire smiled. "Good." She looked up. "Hi Lilah. Did you see the case?"
"Every second of it." She replied. "I really believe we have ourselves a new junior partner. What do you think Lindsey?"
He nodded. "Definitely. The girl is a natural." He flashed a fake grin at Lilah. "You and I better watch out or she'll have our job in the next month."
The three of them laughed and for the first time Lindsey saw how fake they all were. Every person that worked in that place was a phony. All they wanted to do was crush someone else so that they could move to the top. Which was the same reason Lilah had brought Claire back.
He had no doubt now that she'd done it. Even Claire seemed to think it was Lilah. But what he didn't understand was how. He knew how they brought Darla back, but she was a vampire. How could Lilah have possibly found a way to bring back a human?
"I got the internship!" He exclaimed happily, coming through the front door. He threw his jacket on the couch and kicked off his shoes before joining Claire in the kitchen.
She turned to smile at him. "That's great. The one at Wolfram and Hart right?"
Lindsey nodded. "They said that once I finished school they would be honoured to have a bright young man such as myself on their team." He paused. "How did yours go?"
"Mine went really well. The firm I met with is giving me the internship and I think they're looking to hook me as soon as I graduate."
Lindsey smiled. "This is fantastic. Everything is going exactly as we planned it."
Claire nodded her agreement as she leaned back over the counter. "My mom called earlier, she said the flowers they wanted to order will be ready for the wedding." She paused, trying not to sound as excited as she felt. "And she picked up my dress today."
"The one you wanted?" Lindsey asked, coming up behind her.
"Yeah, the one we couldn't afford." She replied.
He sighed happily. "Your mother would do anything for you. She wanted you to have that dress so she went out and got it. No matter how hard we insisted we could find one in our price range. She's really a great woman."
"You don't have to tell me." Claire said.
Lindsey leaned down, gently kissing her neck. "Are you getting excited yet?"
"It's still four months away."
"So?" He challenged, planting another kiss behind her ear. "I'm excited."
Claire sighed and smiled. "Okay, you got me. I'm excited. I'm really looking forward to it."
He leaned down and kissed her collar bone. "So am I."
Claire settled against his chest, feeling his arms come up around her as he continued kissing along her neck. Lindsey gently turned her toward him, nestling his face into her hair and hugging her tightly.
"Dinner will be done in about an hour." Claire said.
Lindsey grinned at her. "Well, what are we going to do for all that time?"
She smiled. "I think I have an idea. That is . . . if you're not too tired."
"I love you babe." He whispered, kissing her forehead and her nose.
"You know I love you Lyns." She replied, leaning toward him.
"I think she's remembering more." Lilah said, staring at the man. "What is going on? I thought you said you took care of it."
"I thought I did." He replied. "You have to realize that this is a very touchy situation. You can't just go around bringing humans back to life and expect them not to remember things. I tried my best Lilah, but she's remembering things now whether you like it or not."
"We can't afford to have her remember anything." She said. "She has to go."
The man was silent. "You can't ask me to kill. I only bring life."
"I want her dead."
"She already is dead." He said. "If you go to the cemetery on King avenue, you will find a marker for Claire Gregory. I can't kill her. I am the giver of life."
"You gave her life to kill another." Lilah told him. "Don't you realize that?"
"I only give life and reanimate things. What you do with them afterward is your business." He insisted, beginning to sound angry. "You won't call on me again. My help is no longer offered to anyone from Wolfram and Hart."
In a flash of light he was gone and Lilah was standing alone in her office. She stamped her foot angrily, then sighed and crossed her arms. "Looks like I'll just have to get rid of her myself."
Claire tapped her foot nervously and glanced at the clock on the wall. She paced from the kitchen to the bathroom down the hall, then looked at her watch.
"Come on, come on." She murmured, drumming her fingers against the wall. She paced back to the kitchen to hear the timer on the stove going off. Her eyes widened and she flew to the stove, turning off the buzzing noise, then she raced back down the hallway to the bathroom.
Claire grabbed the small piece of paper that was sitting on the counter, above the sink and scanned it quickly. She frowned, grabbed the box next to her, then looked at the paper again.
Her breath caught in her throat and she was forced to sit down on the toilet. She closed her eyes, counted to ten, then opened them again. She looked at the box once more, then back at the paper before standing up and laughing.
"I'm pregnant." She breathed slowly, staring at the small bar on the paper that indicated she was having a baby.
"I'm pregnant!" She said with a little more enthusiasm the second time. "Oh my God, I'm pregnant!" She laughed and ran out of the bathroom to the front door. She stopped, stared at her car through the window, then turned around.
"He'll be home in less than an hour." Claire murmured. "I can wait that long. I'm not going to interrupt his class to tell him that I'm pregnant." The words hit her finally and she broke into an enormous smile before sinking onto the couch behind her. "I am pregnant." She said once more.
Claire lay back, staring at the ceiling, her hands on her stomach. She almost couldn't believe that there was a baby growing inside of her. A baby that was part of her and part of Lindsey. Everything was going so well. Their wedding was in two months and they would both graduate from law school and get good jobs and raise a family. She'd never been so happy in her entire life.
The front door opened and Claire sat up, bracing herself. "Lyns?" She called, sitting up. "Honey, I have something to tell you."
The door closed and he stepped into the living room.
Claire's smile slid off her face. "Who are you?" She asked.
He didn't say anything to her. He just took a step closer to her, then another.
"Who are you and what are you doing in my house?"
There was still no answer. Claire's eyes darted to the kitchen door and she tried to run for it. He caught her arm before she reached the door and threw her back onto the floor. She landed on her back, her head slammed into the side of the couch.
Groaning slightly, Claire rolled away from the couch and tried to get up. Something slammed down on the side of her head and she lay on the floor, paralyzed with fear and pain. Her eyes were open and she could suddenly move again. Her hand went to her head and felt something wet in her hair. She pulled it back to find it covered in blood.
Her mind wasn't working properly. All she could think about was Lindsey and the fact that she had something very important to tell him. But he was late, something had held him back at school that night.
Claire couldn't understand how he knew she was pregnant, Lindsey didn't even know yet. So she didn't say anything, she just watched as he laid the knife aside and came over to her. She didn't say anything as he leaned down and kissed her. She didn't say anything when he hurt her.
"There are just too many memories coming back all at once." Claire said, tears falling down her cheeks. "Every night I dream of something new. Sometimes . . . oh God, sometimes it's absolutely wonderful. Sometimes I've never been so happy in my entire life. Other times it hurts so much and it's so scary."
Angel reached over and took her head. "I know it's hard. Especially since you've been given all these other memories, but we think we know what happened."
Claire looked at him hopefully. Then her eyes turned to the other three behind him. "You do? What? C-can you tell me?"
Gunn sighed. "We think Lilah brought you back to drive Lindsey mad. She wants the job all to herself and she thought bringing you back would help her get it. But she didn't want you to know why you were there, so she had someone give you different memories. I guess something went wrong and when you saw me, you began to remember things. Now everything's coming back and it's mixing with the memories you were given."
"But we can fix it." Cordelia added helpfully. "Angel and Wesley found a spell. Something they can do to take the fake memories away."
Claire looked slightly shocked. "It'll take all the fake stuff away, but will it replace it with what really happened? Or will I just have a big blank space where my memories should be?"
Wesley sighed. "We don't know exactly. We hope the removal of the memories you've been given will trigger everything else to come back." He paused. "But that also may be extremely painful for you."
"Why painful?"
"Everything has happened in your life will come flooding back into you in one instant. All the emotions you ever felt will all happen to you at one time. All humans experience enough pain and enough joy in their lives that this flood could really hurt you."
"Physically?" She asked.
Angel shook his head. "No, not physically. But the rush of emotions will probably cause you to pass out and when you wake up you'll feel completely exhausted. Other than that, you'll be perfectly safe."
"I'll do it." Claire said. "I want this nightmare over with. I don't want to feel so confused anymore."
Gunn nodded. "Then we'll do it. We'll help you."
Lilah stepped into her office and flicked on the light Friday morning. She turned and found Lindsey sitting in her chair.
"You scared me." She said after a moment, then put down her briefcase.
"Why'd you bring her back Lilah?" He asked suddenly. "To hurt me? To make me want to quit because I thought I was going insane? To get this job from me?" He laughed. "If getting Claire back means giving you my job, then I'd gladly do it. All you had to do was ask."
"What are you talking about?" She asked.
Lindsey stood up. "Don't play stupid with me Lilah. You know exactly what I'm talking about. She's not just some woman who looks like Claire. She is Claire and you brought her back. I don't know how you did it and I don't care. I just want to know why."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Lilah insisted. "Could you just leave me office?"
Lindsey glared at her, then walked to the door and slammed it behind him. Lilah closed her eyes and sighed heavily. "Dammit." She murmured. "You weren't supposed to figure it out." She opened her briefcase and pulled out the long, curved dagger she had hidden. "Claire and I have a little meeting planned for this afternoon." She smiled dangerously. "And then this nightmare will be over."
Claire lay back on Angel's bed, her head propped up by pillows. Gunn, Wesley, Angel and Cordelia all stood around her, smiling at her.
"Close your eyes." Wesley said gently. She closed her eyes and tried to relax. "You're going to fall into a sleep almost immediately so you won't remember much of what happens. But when you feel the rush of memories, try not to panic. Try to lay still and remain calm. Grab the blankets and pillows if you need something to hold onto. If you get too violent or try to move around too much Angel and Gunn will have to hold you down. Are you okay with this?"
Claire nodded. "I'm okay."
"Good." Wesley murmured, then began to whisper things. Before she could try to comprehend what he was saying, she saw only black and heard nothing. Everything had fallen completely silent and it took her a moment to realize she was seeing her life. This was all she remembered. He had been able to take the fake memories out.
It hit her before she had a chance to brace herself. Pain coursed through her, sending jolts down her limbs and into her brain. She felt love, hate, generosity, selfishness, excitement, disappointment, anxiety and confidence all at the same time. They came so fast she couldn't distinguish between any of them, she just felt the horrible pain.
She reached out, her hand grabbing onto something and squeezing tightly. Images came to her next. Her mother, father, siblings, teachers she had in grade three, friends from elementary and high school, Gunn, her best friend in law school, Lindsey. His face came to her again and again and again. She saw the proposal, she saw their house, she felt his love. Forrest Newfield came and then there was pain.
Her eyes opened and she saw Gunn pacing the room nervously. Everyone else was gone.
"Charles?" She called, her voice hoarse.
He glanced at her, then came over to the bed. "Claire, how do you feel?"
She groaned. "I'm so tired. I just want to sleep for hours."
He smiled. "You did."
"What?"
"It's almost noon."
Claire sat up in the bed, then groaned again. Every part of her ached like she had been hiking for days. "I have to get to work. I having a meeting with Lilah at one and I think she's going to promote me and . . . oh God, how can I be promoted?"
Gunn looked at her. "Why can't you be promoted?"
"I never finished law school." Claire reminded him. She paused and smiled. "I remember that. I still have four months left of law school."
Gunn smiled back. "You remember everything?"
"All of it." Another gentle smile touched her face. "I remember Lindsey. I love him."
"Good girl." He helped her out of the bed. "Now, let's get you to work. You should probably tell Lilah you can't work there anymore. Not if you still need to finish university."
Claire smiled at him, then glanced at the bandage around his hand. "What happened?"
"You did." He said, then unravelled the white bandage to reveal the palm of his hand was torn. "You grabbed onto me when you had the rush of memories."
"Oh Charles, I'm sorry." She wrapped the bandage around his hand again. "I didn't mean to."
"Don't worry about it. Get going now, you have a lot to talk about with Lindsey."
She nodded. "Yeah, I do. Thanks."
Lilah was waiting in her office when Claire knocked on the door, then pushed it open. She came in wearing jeans and a dark sweater and Lilah frowned at her.
"Why aren't you dressed for work?" She asked, her hands both on the desk. She had hidden the dagger in the drawer of her desk and was planning to wait for the perfect time.
Claire glanced down at herself. "I'm sorry. I just don't think I should work here anymore. I . . . well, I remember everything. I've never even finished law school Lilah, and Charles and Angel told me what you did. I don't think I like you very much."
"Lindsey will be so disappointed." Lilah said. "He was really starting to like you."
Claire frowned. "I think I should go. Tell Lindsey that I quit would you?"
Lilah reached into the drawer and pulled out the dagger, hiding it behind her back and walking toward Claire. "I'll tell him. He's not going to like it though. You know, he'll probably think I had something to do with this entire thing."
Claire raised an eyebrow. "You did have something to do with that entire thing." She stepped to the door. "And I'm going to go now."
Lilah stepped up beside her quickly and pressed the dagger into her back. "I don't think you're going anywhere."
"Did you think I was stupid?" Claire asked, opening the door slowly. "Did you think I would come here, after all this, without someone?" Gunn was standing in the hallway and he looked less than pleased.
Lilah's eyes widened and she moved to stab Claire as quickly as possible. She wasn't quick enough as Gunn came through the door and grabbed the dagger from her, twisting her arm in the process. Lilah cried out and backed away, holding her wrist to her.
Claire turned to look at her. "I have a feeling you won't need to fight Lindsey for his share of the position anymore Lilah. I do have one thing I owe to you though." She smiled. "My second chance."
Then she turned and walked away, Gunn at her side. Lilah stared after them, her wrist throbbing angrily, then closed her eyes and sighed. Maybe Lindsey shouldn't have the job he did, but after that screw up, Lilah wasn't so sure she deserved it either.
Lindsey rang the buzzer at Claire's apartment at noon on Saturday, waiting for her to answer. He was nervous, tapping his foot gently against the sidewalk and running his hand through his hair.
"Come on up." She said after a few seconds and the buzzer sounded, letting him through the front door.
He made his way slowly up to her apartment and knocked on the door. She let him in, smiling at him.
"Hi." He said quietly.
"Hi back." She replied, touching her stomach without realizing it.
Lindsey looked at her, smiling as he realized that, whether she remembered it or not, she was carrying his child.
"What did you want to talk about?" He asked, perching on the edge of her couch.
Claire sat across from him. "Angel helped me. I know that with what goes on at Wolfram and Hart, you two aren't exactly friends. But he still helped me."
Lindsey nodded. "I understand. What did he do?"
"They found a way to make me remember everything." She looked at him, brown eyes catching blue. "I know Lyns, I know everything."
His breath caught in his throat. It had been years since he'd heard her call him Lyns. "Everything?" He asked.
She nodded. "Everything. Our first date, our first kiss, our first time together. The proposal, the pregnancy test I took . . . the end of it all."
"Oh God that must be hard."
Claire laughed slightly. "Yeah, I'll say. I remember being killed. It's kind of impossible to believe." She paused and held his eyes again. "But most importantly, I remember loving you."
"You do?" Lindsey tried to look away from her, afraid he would cry, but he couldn't. He hadn't been able to see her eyes for so long that even now he couldn't look away.
"Yeah. It's strong." She said. "Sometimes so strong it hurts, but that's how I remember it. That's how I remember feeling. And . . . I like it. I love loving you."
"You still . . . love me?"
She looked shocked for a moment, then stood up and went to him. "Of course I do." She knelt in front of her, taking his hands in hers. "Of course I still love you." She held up her hand. "I found my ring."
Lindsey stared at her for a long moment, then glanced at the prosthetic hand. "What about this?"
"Angel told me." She said. "And I don't care. We'll both walk away from that place and everything will be like it was supposed to be. Can we do that?"
A tear slid down his cheek. "What if they have you killed again?"
"We'll leave Los Angeles." She reached up and brushed the tear away. "Don't cry baby, please don't. This is what we've been waiting for."
He drew in a shuddering breath. "I missed you so much. Every day it hurt just thinking about you." He tried to look away again, but couldn't. More tears escaped his eyes. "I'm just so afraid of losing you again."
"We'll go far away." She promised. "We won't look back. We'll pretend none of this ever happened." She leaned in, gently kissing his cheek, tasting the salt on his face.
"I still can't take my eyes off you." He whispered.
"I can't believe you're here." She said. "Every dream I had, every memory that came back, it would never let me hold you or touch you."
Lindsey held her face, brushing a finger over her lips. "I'm here now."
Claire leaned toward her, her lips finally meeting his and she lost herself in the kiss she'd been waiting for. Lindsey returned the kiss gently, remembering the first awkward time he'd tried to kiss her, tasting her mouth under his. They parted reluctantly and Claire stood up, pulling Lindsey with her.
"I have an appointment with the doctor." She said, pointing to her stomach. "Do you want to come with me?"
Lindsey stared at her, never wanting to look away and he nodded. "Will I get to see my baby?"
Claire smiled and kissed him again. "Yeah Lyns, you'll get to see your baby."
He held out his hand and she looked at it for a moment before lacing her fingers through his. Then they turned and left the apartment, locking the door behind them
The End