Dear Mom and Dad:
Since I've been at college, I've been remiss at writing home. I want to apologize. Please forgive me, I want to bring you up to date. But before you read this, please sit down. Don't read any further unless you are sitting down. Now, for the news.
I'm OK now, the skull fracture and concussion I got while jumping out of the dormitory window during the fire has healed. I spent two weeksn in the hospital, but the stitches come out tomorrow. I can see almost normally and I only get headaches and dizzy spells once or twice a day now. Fortunately, the fire and my jump were witnessed by the gas stations' attendant across the street and he called the fire department and ambulance.
He also visited me in the hospital and as I had no place to stay after the fire, he was kind enough to ask me to share his apartment. Actually, it's just a basement room and though it's small, it's cute. He's a very fine person. We've fallen deeply in love and want to get married. We've not set an exact date, but it will be before my pregnancy starts to show. Yes! Mom and Dad, I'm pregnant and I know how thrilled you'll be to know you'll soon be grandparents and you'll welcome the baby and will give it the love and devotion you gave me as a child.
The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection which prevents him from passing the premarital blood test which is somewhat complicated by the fact that I caught it too. However, I know that you will welcome Clemit as a family member with open arms. He's a warm human being. Although not well educated, he's very ambitious, although he's of a different race and religion that ours, I know that your natural warmth and fairness will not permit you to be biased.
Now that I've brought you up to date, I want to say there was no fire, no skull fracture, and concussion. I'm not in the hospital, I'm not pregnant, engaged, or in love. I'm not infected nor do I have a boyfriend in my life.
However, I'm getting a "D" in history and an "F" in Science and I want you to view these marks in the proper perspective.
Love,
Your daughter.