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(By the way, if you already know the story, you can head for the window. . .)
So. You don't know the story of the Labyrinth. Shame on you. Just kidding. Many humans are ignorant to the wonders of the maze, and to the wonderful piece of work that is Jareth, the Goblin King (that's him at the top of the screen. He's dissapointed that you haven't learned about him . . .). Well, prepare for the most tantalizing story you've ever heard (short of Star Wars, that is).

Once upon a time there was a young girl named Sarah. Sarah was a normal teenager of the 80's who lived with her father, stepmother, and baby half-brother, Toby. One day, Sarah (who wants to be an actress) is out in the park reading her favorite play, The Labyrinth. She runs home at 7:00, realizing that she's late for babysitting Toby. It begins to rain, and Sarah hikes up her long dress-up skirt and runs quickly to her house with her dog, Merlin. Little did she know that a large, white owl had been watching her.
When she reaches the house, her stepmother begins to yell at her for being late. Sarah, as any teenager would do, yells back and storms up to her room. After the adults leave, Sarah realized her favorite bear, Lancelot, is missing. She runs into Toby's room and finds her bear. Toby begins to cry, and Sarah attempts to make him be quiet my telling him a story in which the Goblin King falls in love with a young girl (who sounds suspiciously like Sarah) and offers to take away the screaming child she is forced to take care of. Unwittingly, Sarah calls on the goblins to take Toby away, and the King of Goblins, Jareth, shows up in her bedroom. Deciding that she has to get Toby back, Sarah looks out onto a huge labyrinth. "It doesn't look too far . . ." she says. "It's further than you'd think." Replies Jareth. "You have thirteen hours in which to solve the labyrinth, or your baby brother become one of us, forever . . ."



Sound exciting? Well. I'm not going to tell you the rest. You'll have to rent the movie, or buy it, or something. It was re-released on video September 21st, so if you are quick, you might still find a copy on the shelves. Personally, I ordered mine from Amazon.com.

Alright. This is where you do NOT have a choice. You will observe. You WILL go through the window. Then you will have a choice.

Through the window . . .