| CONFUSING SCIENTIFIC TERM | EASY-TO-UNDERSTAND REDNECK DEFINITION! |
| BENIGN | What you be after you be eight. |
| ARTERY | The study of paintings. |
| BACTERIA | The back door to the cafeteria. |
| BARIUM | What the doctor does when the patient dies. |
| CESAREAN SECTION | A neighbourhood in Rome. |
| CT-SCAN | Searching for kitty. |
| CAUTERIZE | Made eye contact with her. |
| COLIC | A sheep dog. |
| COMA | A punctuation mark. |
| D & C | Where Washington is. |
| DILATE | To live long. |
| ENEMA | Not a friend. |
| FESTER | Quicker than someone else. |
| GENITAL | Non-Jewish person. |
| G.I. Series | World Series of military baseball. |
| HANGNAIL | What you hang your coat on. |
| IMPOTENT | Distinguished, well-known. |
| LABOUR PAIN | Getting hurt at work. |
| MEDICAL STAFF | An old doctor's cane. |
| MORBID | A higher offer. |
| NITRATES | Cheaper than day rates. |
| NODE | I knew it. |
| OUT PATIENT | A person who has fainted. |
| PAP SMEAR | A fatherhood test. |
| PELVIS | Second cousin to Elvis. |
| POST OPERATIVE | A letter carrier. |
| RECOVERY ROOM | Place to do upholstery. |
| RECTUM | Dang near killed him! |
| SECRETION | Hiding something. |
| TABLET | A small table. |
| TERMINAL ILLNESS | Getting sick at the airport. |
| TUMOR | More than one. |
| URINE | Opposite of "you're out". |
| VARICOSE | Nearby. |
