DAAS Kapital Songs

Well here are some of the songs from the reknowned series DAAS KAPITAL! Damn good show, damn good music!

Big Dirty Mongrel.

I'm a big dirty mongrel,
I'm a bad assed dude.
The sewer is my home,
And rats are my food.
My mum came up to me,
My mum came up to me and said:
"Clean your room, Richard."
And I said to her "Get nicked!"

I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.

I'm a big dirty mongrel,
I've got a big police file.
I like to spew up on the back of the bus so when the bus stops really suddenly the spew goes pshoow down the aisle.

My girlfriend is a camel,
I click my fingers and she jumps.
When we go to the drive-in,
I take my milk with two humps.

I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.

I'm a skinhead pinhead,
With the body of a pig.
Baby I don't give a fig,
I'm a skinhead in a wig.

Rocking and bopping,
Sloshing and coshing.
And if my mother's watching,
I didn't do my washing.
"Richard!"

Get nicked Mum get nicked,
Get nicked Mum get nicked.
Get nicked Mum get nicked,
Get get get get nicked nicked nicked nicked Mum.

Bless Me Father.

Bless me Father, bless me Father for I have sinned.
I've been twenty seven years now in this skin I'm living in.
Forgive me, forgive me and I'll not let you down.
Like Prometheus in the morning I'm bound to come around.

I stole and I lied, I was cruel and mean and vicious,
Petty and pedantic, vulgar, uncouth and ruthless.
I hurt my little brother, I deceived my aged mother,
And I was called a lying bastard by my ever-loving father.

I've lied and I've cheated, been in brawls I never started,
Been known to fall in love easier than I've farted.
And I've cursed my friends for my own ends,
But now it's time to make amends, so

Bless me Father, bless me Father for I have sinned,
It's been twenty-seven years and I remember every sin.
Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, my life's an open book,
And if you show me yours then I'll give you a quick look.

There was Jenny in Kilkenny and Barbara in Barbados,
Helen in the back seat, Jill and Jean and both their neighbors.
Henriette, so did I, Selina and Patrice,
A family of Quakers and their fifteen year old niece.

A thousand other sordid other nights that I cannot recall,
But I never paid for sex once, well once, and that is all.

With this girl with thighs as white as milk that tasted just like honey,
And to own her for half an hour you'd only have to give her money.
Now you've lived your life of chastity and you must find it funny,
That I can call you Father- you can never call me sonny, so

Bless me Father, bless me Father for I have sinned,
It's been sixty-seven years and I remember every sin.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry,
I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.

In Amsterdam I shot a man - in Paris I got drunk.
In Brussels I went to Antwerp - in Paris I got drunk.
In Zimbabwe I kissed a dog - in Paris I got drunk.
In Paris I said WOAH!!

Well, I caught a card shark cheating caved his head in with a spade.
He thought I was the king of fools, but I was just a knave.
I seduced his wife at his funeral, I had her on his grave,
So when he died I got a million bucks so I'm well laid.

I got Pluto pregnant, I felched Minnie Mouse,
Go fetch Mephistopheles, I'm more susceptible that Faust.
I've stuffed myself on life, satisfied each and every urge,
I don't regret a moment, I'll be damned more before I'm purged.

Live for the moment, take your pleasures where you can,
We're all dust and we'll be dust again.
So let's live, let's live, let's live, live, live, live, live until we die.
Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.

Carnal Carnival.

The carnal carnival is in town,
I think I'm going down (we will).
The sexual festival's such a thrill,
It makes me just want to kill kill kill kill kill kill. Sorry!

I love the perfume around your hips,
The way you flirtify your lips.
I hear the zipper unzip,
Feel the flesh start to rip rip rip rip rip rip rip rip and rip.

You've got to stand up and be counted,
Or lie down and be mounted.
You've got no choice, you've got to use your
Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya.

Fornicators, freaks and sodomites,
Transsexuals and transvestites.
Homo, hetero or confused,
Bisexual, used and abused.
The perverse litany is here,
Sadomasochistic bondage gear.
Sex is sin, sin is fun,
Come one, come all, in the end just cum!

You've got to move into the centre,
Or just break and enter.
We wanna reach your mind,
But through your behind.

The panic of seduction, the act of reproduction.
Now you're back in the sack, you must describe your function.
The shagging wagon, sin bin, hip hop knock shop,
Your piston's greased, you need release not just another pit-stop,
Big breasts, sunken chest are you better than the rest?
What's your measurement, baby can we make a tent,
How much have you spent, is your ass up for rent?

Are you blond or brunette or is it ginger ginger,
Have you been experienced or are you a beginner?
You're salivating now cos you're up against the wall,
The pitcher's on the mound so grab the bat and let's play ball,
Let's play ball, let's play ball, let's play ball!

You've got to be loud and be proud now,
Or lie nude in the crowd now.
I want your touch,
Let's get down and
Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya,

You've go to STOP!!

Catholic Girls.

Catholic girls on LSD,
Love nuns to have bad habits.
Protestant chicks get their kicks,
From downing Mummy's tablets.
Almost everyone's on the trip these days,
I'm not selling nothing.
Love's the only drug I'm pushing.

Push, push and shove love,
Down your throat.
Push, push and shove love,
Down your throat.

The apostles were the happy crew,
And Jesus was the dealer.
They got high on living life,
As heaven got much nearer.
They said "Oh!", they said "Oh no!".

Simon Peter was a speed freak,
Philate was one too.
Matthew and Mark, Luke and John,
All high from sniffing glue.
Matthew was a publican,
He was downing eighty shilling.
Thadeus dropped some angel dust,
And Matty made a cake.
They said "Oh!", they said "Oh no!".

James the son of Zebedee and James the other one.
Drank some Bex and dropped some X,
And found synthetic love.
Thomas was a doubter,
Put his finger in the wounds.
Bartholomew watched it all,
Spaced out on mushrooms.
They said "Oh!", they said "Oh no!".

Philip was on amphetamines,
And he turned into a freak.
In a garden of Gethsemane,
On Valium they fell asleep.
Judas tried to kick the habit,
Blood money for a loudmouth.
But he wound up as we found out,
All hung up and strung out.

Push, push and shove love,
Down your throat.
Push, push and shove love,
Down your throat.
Push! Shove!

Good Night, Sweet Prince.

Good night, sweet prince,
And may flights of angels sing you to your rest.
As the shadows move across the lake,
Dream sweet dreams until you wake.

Here's a thousand kisses for your tortured brow,
A thousand hands caress your tiny body now.
As a thousand fingers reach up for the bedroom light,
Hush my gentle child and draw the blankets tight.

Good night, sweet prince,
And may flights of angels sing you to your rest.
As the stars above us cloud the moon,
All your wishes will come true.

At the rivers edge we touched to golden gown.
The holiest of holies and the sacred vow.
A lullaby of the childhood for the chariot of the Sun.
Before the dawns first light your kingdom comes.

Good night, sweet prince,
As the angels crowd around your crib.
With a moonbeam for your nakedness,
Go to sleep for you are blessed.

Good night, sweet prince,
And may flights of angels sing you to your rest.
As the shadows move across the lake,
Dream sweet dreams until you wake.

Dream sweet dreams until you wake.
Dream sweet dreams until you wake.

I'm Sick.

I've got these headaches and this backache,
And heartaches as well.
And I've got stomach cramps and bowel constraints,
And I'm starting to swell.
If you can't give me some kindness,
Then at least give me some pills.
I'm sick (He's sick).

Don't you know me by now I'm not one to complain,
But I've got phlegm on my chest,
And water on the brain.
Stones in my gall, a vent in my spleen,
A frog in my throat and warts somewhere obscene.

I'm sick (He's sick).
So sick (So sick)
So sick (So sick)

What do you want-
When I stink like a corpse in his bed,
What do you want-
When the tension pops a vein in my head.

What do I want? What do you want?
What do I want? What do you want?

My perennium has collapsed,
I've got moles across my back,
My ulcer's got an ulcer,
My prostate's got the sack,
My corpuscles scream retreat while the genitals scream attack!

I'm sick (He's sick)
So sick (So sick)
So sick (So sick).

What do you need-
When my bile duct is clogged from overuse.
What do you need-
When my bladder bursts from constant abuse.

What do I want? What do you want?
What do I want? What do you want?
What do I want? What do you want?

Dermatitis, Hepatitis- Both A and B.
I've got jaundice and consumption and my balls are killing me.
I've got an itch that just won't quit.
Syphilis, gonorrhea.
I've got cataracts on my eyes,
God, it's good to see you.
I'm sick (He's sick)
I'm sick!

Living With Girls.

I got a little secret,
I bet you can't guess.
If you promise not to tell a soul,
I'll tell you what it is.
I hate (He hates)
We hate living with girls.

I'll tell you why,
Because they're rude and uncouth.
And they tell lies,
Which means they never tell the truth.
You get girl's germs,
When they pash you on the mouth.
Those bad, bad women will wipe us good men out, oh yeah.

They walk around naked,
Or wearing skimpy towels.
If you try to be polite,
Then their tempers get foul.
They can't play football or gridiron,
Or even grow a beard.
I'll tell you something brothers,
Girls are weird, Oh yeah.

I've got to find a way to cope,
But there is no hope yet.
Give me scotch whisky,
Give me cigarettes,
'Cos I hate,
He hates,
We hate living with girls!

They act real smart,
They read Flaubert and Proust.
They talk on art,
But they never clean the house.
They can't cook,
They can't darn or sew or iron,
Or vacuum clean or hang clothes upon the line, Oh Yeah.

I'll have to live by myself,
There's no one I've met.
Who'll give me Scotch whisky,
Give me cigarettes.
'Cos I hate, (he hates), We hate
I hate, (he hates), We hate
I hate, (he hates), We hate
(Living with what?)

GIRLS!

Maria.

I love a girl called Maria,
Her name was Maria,
They call her Marie Marie Marie Marie Maria.

She loves a guy whose a Maori,
A New Zealand Maori,
Yeah he's a Maori Maori Maori Maori Maori.

They sailed a kayak down the Murray,
They sailed down the Murray,
Down the Murray Murray Murray Murray Murray.

They docked the boat at the marina,
They docked at the marina,
At the Marie Marie Marie Marie Marina.

They loved pasta marinara,
Pasta marinara,
They loved their Marie Marie Marie marinara.

They skipped through a field of marigolds,
Through a field of marigolds,
A field of Marie Marie Marie marigolds.

They said one day they will marry,
Yeah one day they will marry,
Yes they'll marry marry marry marry marry.

Sadly they died this afternoon.
Cha cha cha!!

Mexican Hitler.

Ein volk, ein Reich, ein Cha Cha Cha!
Ein volk, ein Reich, ein Cha Cha Cha!
Arriba!

Here comes the German Re-unification.
Catch the plane to Buenos Aires,
And find the new generation,
On the autobahn with Speedy Gonzales.
Eating nachos in the sun,
South America here I come.

I want to be a Mexican Hitler,
Viva la fuhrer, viva la fuhrer.
With Mussolini in a white sombrero,
Viva la fuhrer, viva la fuhrer.
Here comes the new law and the new order,
Reichstag's burning south of the border.
When you're low, where can you go? Where to?
Mexico! Mexico!

We'll find a small Peruvian Village,
Just like Poland we'll burn, rape, pillage, drink Tequila,
Then siesta with Goering, Goebbels, Himmler and Kessler.
Then I'll quench my evil desire,
By setting Eva Braun and Blondie on fire

I want to be a Mexican Hitler,
Viva la fuhrer, viva la fuhrer.
While Franco dances a fascist rumba.
Viva la Franco, viva la fuhrer.
Who's that in the Volkswagon car?
It's the little old Nazi from Pasadena.

Eh Cisco! Eh Pancho! Where did they go dude?

We met a knee slapping senorita who worked for a peso on Salon Kitty.
Big girls love dick-tators but the ones that do aren't pretty.
Here comes the fourth Reich baby,
And if the propaganda works one day,
Then we'll all be goose-stepping in Cal-if-orn-ia.

I want to be a Mexican Hitler,
Viva la fuhrer, viva la fuhrer.
While Saddam Lambadas.
Viva la Saddam, viva la fuhrer.
It's a triumph of the will here come the three boys from Brazil.
Hey-ho off we go,
Where to? Stalingrad! ...Mexico! Mexico!

Mummy Dearest.

Hi ma, I've come back home,
Cos I don't like this world we live in.
For all my faults and failures please tell me I'm forgiven.
I want my old womb back my cosy cubby-hole.
I want to be your child again before I get too old.

Mummy dearest, mother mine,
It's me your baby boy.
I know what's lacking in your life,
That old maternal joy.
So let's boil up some water,
No need to get a nurse.
It'll be just like the virgin birth,
But only in reverse.

Mummy dearest, mother mine,
It's me your only son.
Freud would have a field day,
Trying to understand this one.
Let's have a natural re-entry,
Most doctors say it's easier.
But I've brought a butchers knife,
Just in case you want a Caesar.

It's not some old wive's tale,
Or some unfortunate wisecrack.
But you could use some extra weight,
And I need to take a nine month nap.
And I've been good, I've been good,
Now I deserve a small reward.
Don't want my birthday suit,
I want to wear my umbilical cords.

(You know, the ones with the jumbo flare with the spot of blood around the cuff)

Mummy dearest, mother mine,
Look what the stork brought back.
I don't want no damp bunk bed,
I want my foetal sack.
I was a sad and lonely child,
I wish that you'd had twins.
And if you can spare the room Ma,
I'd like to bring some friends.

Mummy dearest, mother mine,
It's me your pookie bear.
I don't want to hurt you,
Or soil your underwear.
Cos you're my guru, my ma,
My host, my home, my mentor.
We could have a three course meal,
If we boil up the old placenta.

(Finger lickin' good ma!)

Party In Hell.

There's a party in Hell and here's the invitation.
You'll be met at the gateway for this celubrious occasion.
Don't be late the ferry leaves at twelve.
It's a guaranteed pleasure cruise,
For all dead boys and girls.

You'll be met at the door by Miss Marilyn Munroe.
She's still smoking heavily so the bruises do not show.
The guest of honor's JFK,
He'll be talking through his head.
And Bing Crosby's telling jokes,
He's not sure that he is dead.
Party, party, party in Hell.

While the Gandhi's are trying to be the Kennedy's of India,
And it's three for three,
And no one knows who will be the winner.
Lucretia Borgia's swapping recipes and calling herself Ms.
As Jim Jones from Jonestown hands 'round the raspberry fizz.

Party, party, party in Hell.
It'll be dead keen, it'd be dead fun.
Yeah your life is over,
But your death has just begun.
So come on down and party on,
Come on down and get it on.
Hell is other people and all of them are you.

The reunion concert of the afterlife,
Is playing right down Dante's alley.
The crowd puller for this evening,
Is Mr Elvis Aaron Presley.
There's Roy Orbison on lead guitar,
Ricky Nelson's, well most parts.
And Lennon's playing flute again,
Through the hole in his heart.

Party, party, party in Hell.
While a lime soaked Mozart is up to his old antics.
Quoting the corpse of Janice Joplin,
While writing symphonies in her panties.
And there's a quiet girl in the corner no one saw her enter,
But it's Sharon Tate about to sing the great 'Helter Skelter'.

So come all you dead kiddies,
Around the dead world.
Life's a bloody bore,
And death's a bloody ball.
So dig a pit and climb in,
Dig a pit and cover it.
Toll that bell there's a party in Hell.

Rhino Songs.

Proudly let the Rhinos bray,
Dum-dum-da-ra!
Dum-dum-da-ra!
Loudly now our hooves are pounding.
(Dum-dee Dee-dee-dee-dee)

Bow down before the mighty rhino,
Prostrate yourself upon the lino.
(ta-ra!) I am a Rhino!
(ta-ra!) I am a Rhino!
Rhinos!
Rhinos!
My mates and brothers would do anything for me,
When they see that I am horny!
Hey, brother! Two horns: One horn for honking brother, one horn for bonking brother!

We are full of poise and propriety,
We are very noisy for a secret society!

Sunday Mornings.

Sunday mornings,
Brings the dawning.
It's just the restless feeling,
So close behind.

Early dawnings,
Sunday mornings.
It's all the streets you crossed not so long ago.

Watch out,
The world's behind you.
There's always someone around,
Who will fall,
It's nothing at all.

Sunday mornings,
And I'm falling.
I've got a feeling,
I've got a long way to go.

Early dawning,
Sunday mornings.
It's all the streets you crossed not so long ago.

Sunday mornings,
Sunday mornings,
Sunday mornings,
Sunday mornings,
Sunday mornings,
Sunday mornings.

Thank You.

Wake up you sleepyheads,
Come on get out of bed.
Cos you know, you know, you know, you know,
This morning's pulchritudinous.

Lose those nightmare dreads,
Come on shake out the lead.
Cos we know, we know, we know, we know,
That sleeping in is important.

And thank you very much for sending us a new beginning,
The future's looking bright,
And everything's alive.

And thank you very much for waking us and then forgiving,
The day will start again,
And the world is looking fine,
The world is looking fine.

Don't say don't to me,
Never say never to me,
Because I know, I know, I know, I know,
All things are possible.

Always avoid the truth,
Cos no-one's fireproof,
And we know, we know, we know, we know,
All things are plausible.

And thank you very much for sending me a happy ending,
I'm feeling better now,
And everything is fine.

And thank you very much but some things are not worth mending,
We'll save the happy ending,
For another time.

And thank you very much for sending me a happy ending,
I'm feeling better now,
And everything is fine.

And thank you very much but some things are not worth mending,
We'll save the happy ending,
For another time,
For another time.

Warsong.

With a downwind blast from his doughy ass,
Like a lance of fire he shot up the mast.
As he mumbled blasphemous epitaphs,
"I am the sailor."

And the captain cried with a mighty heave-ho
"Enemy sighted on the starboard bow.
Load your cannons, let 'em go.
For God is on our side, boys."

In the dust and sand of a foreign land.
With hands afire he buried his friend.
He beat his brow and cursing foul he said:
"I am the soldier"

And the private laughed as he reached the bluff,
His gun barrel smoking, enough's enough.
We've done more damage than old Macduff.
And God is full of pride, boys.

He flew through the flak on the first attack,
The bomb bay open on a missiles back.
Here's the payload, he crudely spat,
"I am the airman."

And the General sighed "This is our last stand,
Let every man say 'Amen',
For we'll not see daylight again.
And tonight we'll meet our God, boys."

Well the airman plunged into the pine,
And the sailor drowned in the briny brine,
And the soldier in haste put his foot on a mine.

And it comes to all in time, boys.
For on the day they died, boys,
God was on the other side, boys.