~*~...My Private
Chambers...~*~

---

Am I weird? Do you feel this way about me? What have I done to earn this way of life? Am I a pain to be around? You obviously don’t like me, if you keep calling me names. Why are you treating me like this? Listen to me! How can you simply ignore me? I speak to you daily, yet you don’t listen! You live with me; I am your constant companion, am I not? So what? Now you can live without me? Do you honestly think you can ignore me, or dismiss me as if I were your bitch? You must truly hate me, even though I have done nothing wrong. Why are you getting rid of me? What have I done wrong? All I have done was love you, yet apparently that is not good enough. Have you found someone else? How can you, when I am constantly around you? Who is she? Where did you meet her at? Why didn’t I see her? Are you listening to me? Am I just simply talking to a loser, a deadhead? Why am I even bothering? You just tune me out every chance you get. You act as though I am not here… Not around all the time. I am, you know. A constant knife in your side, moving as you move. You see…you can’t get rid of me this easily. Not without a fight. I am too much a part of you now. Might as well just kill yourself to get rid of this constant annoyance. So keep this in mind…if you shall keep your mind. The rest of the voices here have lots to say to you as well…

Do you find me insignificant? A plague amongst the vast population? Do you? To find something like this… Is not that unusual. Do you find me pathetic? A soul dragging down your life force? Am I? To be called this… Is considered normal. Am I a threat to you? A mercenary son of a bitch out for kicks? Do you think that? Just to let you know… Maybe I am… Do you truly know me? A friend, a neighbor close by? Do you? I’m not what you think… Or maybe I am… Would you ever listen to me? Seriously, would you? There’s a simple solution to calm the screaming. Would you like it? Would you trust me? The ease of vicious screams? Just follow the instructions… I’ll shut up soon… Am I a disease? One for you to kill off? Am I? I’ll eat your soul… This….I promise. Am I real? A being inside, punching, beating? Can you feel me? If so… Does it hurt? Do you hate me? Wishing to get rid of this annoyance? Well, do you? I’m not leaving… Not just yet. Am I disturbing you? A voice which will never leave? Do you like this? Knowing I will be here… Eternally? Did you think I was leaving? So soon? So quick? Did you? To get rid of me is absolutely stupid. Would you get used to me? Remain my constant companion? Would you miss me? Admit it… You ---

I am the one who you destroyed
The worthless one kept on the side
A love you swore so true, to me
How come you played me for all to see
You should know better for what you did
You're not a man, rather a child, a kid.
This fae is out there
Somehow, somewhere
Watching the sould that you play
Increase without remorse, day by day.
Your blood will die
And scarlet tears I'd cry.
I thought my life was simplistic
But instead it was tragic.
You think I am heart-broken and alone
Something you hate, something you condone
For I found someone new
Someone better, definately not you
Deter your atention from me to her
I am no longer any of your concern.

Prisoner of Time
Lost in a world of low,
Searching for a way out,
A door of non-existence.

I promised you my love.
Messages quite unspoken.
Crushed love from you daily.
My heart, once more, is broken.

The look in your eyes
Threatening, begging to die.
The pain you caused me
An open book, for all to see.
You laughed and cheered
My heart you had, now was seared.
Each waking moment was yours
Loving me was soon a chore.
But now you must realize
All of this was soon a lie.
The pain you sought
The knife you feel, the pain caught.
Rustic and dull, it seeps
Into your heart, it creeps.
The crimson river ran down
The screams escaping, not a sound.
The twinkle in my eyes
Watching you slowly die.
I laugh in your horrific face.
For on your grave, a little finger will trace.
Now you know what it is like
To stare in the face, to rue the night
But you cannot stop what has started
Since the day you played my heart and killed it.

I am the nightmares
Who creep along inside
The one who disturbs your peaceful sleep
Who eats away your very soul.
I am the ghost
Who haunts your happy life
And causes threats into your mind
Just to scare you happily.
I am the killer
Carving violence in the air.
Spilling blood on your body,
And watching you suffer.
I am the wind,
That chills your bones.
And makes your house
Creak and moan.
I am the plague
That kills you off.
Be scared of me,
For you are next.
Who am I?
Do you honestly want to know?
Trust me, you will be scared…
Just don’t turn around……

A Forbidden Place
Trees of old, hanging, wisping
Black as might
Dead as anything can be.
Clawing at your very flesh.

Dance with me
Upon the Moon
No air up there
Will suit to you.

I love the way you look Standing there with a glance. Death reeks around your body, What the hell have you been doing? The blood seeps down your body Pouring onto the thick carpet. The smell of death was near. Who was it this time? Your hands were scratched, Bleeding and dirty. Someone clawed their way out. How did you kill them? An assassin you are, Trained to kill without care Yet hunter you are not, So don’t even dare… Your lips, so red and delicious Have a distinct metallic taste. You drank their blood. Was it good? Was their flesh between your hands? Their screams in your ears? Their eyes locked with yours? Was it enticing? The wet slicing of skin, The pouring of blood. Cracking of bones, Time only knows. That look in your eyes Speaks of something fierce. A decision you love… A job that is your life.

---

You hold my dreams in your grasp
And shatter them ruthlessly.
A daydreamer is what you call me,
A worthless believer.
You call me silly,
A person with no common sense.
You tell me to act my age.
And yell at me when I do.
You think of me as worthless
And thrash everything I believe.
You try to change me for who you are
And not look at the true me.
I am not worthless.
Nor am I a dreamer.
Don’t force me to be normal,
For you will lose that fight.
I am my own person,
A form in this vast world.
I will not have you insult me,
Or try in any way to change me.
I have the Power of Tiamat,
I have the Power of our Mother.
Your little “God” cannot save you,
From the hell of ours.
So push my patience,
One at a time,
And know what it feels like
To be me.

---

Tearing skin,
Burning flesh
The feel of immobility
It is all around…
The lack of blood
That was running through your veins,
The coldness that is apparent,
As the crimson liquid leaks onto the ground.
The greyness of your skin
Proves of your current situation.
Enjoy it while you are there…
For you are never leaving.
‘Twas my doing that brought this upon you,
My hands that did this.
This is your new life…
For eternal suffering.
Death becomes you,
Makes you look vibrant.
It works with your attitude,
That of someone “mighty.”
Close your eyes my friend
The pain shall soon end.
And when it does,
Your new world will be exposed.

---

You say you can do it?
You swear on your life?
Prove you are a man…
Prove you can do this.
Show the world who you are,
Show them what you want to do.
Tell them of your troubles,
Tell them of your lies.
You say you loved me
You say you cared.
I say you lied
I say you didn’t give a shit.
I know you cheated,
I know you pretended
That the love from you was real
That the love we had was true.
Now be that man you claim,
Now be that person you are.
Show the people what you want
Show the people you are strong.
Pull the fucking trigger!
Pull it and end my life!
Do it and be gone with you!
Do it for your hatred!
You are a chicken,
You are not brave.
I know what you truly are…
I know…you just pulled the trigger…

---

I can see you standing there, glancing down at me, staring in awe. You don’t believe me? Are you scared I will do something? Something absolutely stupid? Don’t think you are alone. Lots of people are scared… I can’t control how you feel, nor can I control my thoughts. Actions are unexplainable as you know from experience. I can see the pulse in your neck, watch it speed up quickly. Are you really that nervous? Are you really that scared? Nothing I do will affect you. Or at least, I think so. Would you be troubled, if I did it? Don’t worry yourself sick. It won’t hurt that bad. Do you trust me? You don’t, do you? I never thought, you would be the one scared. I always thought, it would be me. You were the violent one, the one who hurt others. Well surprise, my love. I am much worse than you. Keep in mind, not to anger me. Killing is fine… Torture is more delicious.

---

The dark sky
Reminded me of you.
It spoke of your heart,
And all that’s not true.
The blackness surrounded
Hearts like yours always.
And made me pray
For eternal sunny days.
Black eyes glared at me
Through the darkened sky.
Twisting around my soul
Beckoning me to die.
The thunderous clouds
Were barriers of your mind,
Searching was I
For a way out of your mind to find.
I hated this coldness
Pressed upon me.
Leave me alone,
Go away; let me be.

---

I call upon the Winds,
To help erase my sins.
I call upon the Earth,
For my revenge to be given birth.
I call upon the Water,
To cause your lies to faulter.
I call upon the Flames,
So the gods realize you're a shame.
Each day you brought pain;
Further and further I went insane.
And now you shall see,
Revenge that came to you from me.
You hurt me bad; You hurt me true.
The pain you feel is, oh, so true.
Can't you feel the blackened heart
Squeezing together, ripping apart.
I'll mess with your delicate mind,
Fuck with you throughout time.
Scorch your blood in a pool.
No more of my life will you rule.
Tear the flesh inch by inch
Ripping and searing like a syringe.
Each moment you abused
How does it feel to be so used?
Tearing out your very soul
Place my hands around your neck and hold.
Squeeze until your fingers break,
A life of nothing begins to take.
You messed with this fae no more
And now your life has begun to tore.
Die with the knowledge of this:
Your soul will easily be missed.

---

I am Death, the one who rips your child from your loving embrace. I am Death, who tears the love of your life away from you. I am Death, the killer of the world, humanity, everything. I am Death, for I am everywhere. Behind you as you sit here, following you as you walk. I am the shadows on a sunny day, sweeping you inside. The lightning striking the peaceful trees. I feed on the depressed and get drunk off the lonely. Do you want the truth? I’ll tell you who I am. I am a mercenary son of a bitch hunting your soul. How do you like that? Know this as you sleep. I will find you. Soon…

---

She crawls under my skin like a virus. Sometimes I want to reach into my skin to dig her out. Days go by when I think of ending her life, days unseen by others except myself. Each dream I have, I dream of Fae blood dripping upon the hungry ground, being devoured by yellow wyrms, infected with a deadly disease. As the blood seeps from her body, the wyrms attach themselves to her body. Draining her of her precious life and no way for any Red Dragon to help with the saving. Not even a magician can help the death of the Fae. Not even her Queen for a mother. No one. And that is what makes my dreams, dreams, instead of nightmares. I love to imagine her burning, her hair singing within the flames. And the flames licking up her body, burning, tearing her flesh off her body. The screams sound like music to my ears, as I laugh and point. Chantry is there, trying to stop a spell he cannot reverse. I laugh as I see her children crying, knowing not how big of a fake she was, how much of a bitch she was also. When the fire dies down, and all that is left are her ashes, I burn those too, so she cannot reform, and nothing is left of her in this world.

---

The steel feels cold, smooth running through my body. It hurt going in,but the pain has numbed. The bullet was unique, something I never expected from you. It wasn’t the entrance nor the exit of the bullet, but the trigger-happy finger you have. I loved the original feeling of your hands, when they were placed upon my neck. But what really got me, was when they tightened rather quickly. How did you know that I loved the water so much? But I never dreamed of living there forever. Oh how I love campfires! They remind me so much of roasting marshmallows. Though for some reason this one was bigger… Enough to hold and burn my body. What really surprised me, was that you tried so hard to kill off something that never died.

---

It was the smell that attracted me.
The retched odor of death.
With that smell…I realize.
The death of someone was caused by you.
I see the spatter of the crimson liquid.
It’s all over your clothes, your skin, your hair.
What bothers me, is not that you did it.
But that you brought the dead to me.
The bones are visible,
A bright white in the swirl of red.
Cracking as I cut him open,
Yet the jagged edges cut my skin.
Blood mixing with blood,
Mine and his.
It was not until our eyes met
Did I realize.
A victim you were hunting,
Laying on my table.
His heart stopped beating,
His breath no more.
By your hand you did this,
By your mind you killed.
For the money of his head…
You easily did him in.
My eyes drifted to yours,
As your back you turned.
And that stench of death followed,
Another head to be taken.

---

Why do you yell at me?
A cheap thrill or a test to see?
Do you think that I would stay?
Or let my heart easily stray?
The words cut into my skin
Carving deep, yet ultra thin.
The blood is red, for all to see.
Alive, no longer, I shall not be.
Undying love was all I heard
Yet in your life, was I, in third.
I loved you until my untimely death.
Uttered it with my last living breath.
I held onto the dream that wasn't real
And let you slip into my life to steal.
My heart no more is yours to hold.
For once in my life, I am to be bold.
You stole, so now you shall pay.
Living hell will be today.
Death calls for your mind,
Body and soul...of just your kind.
The torment you put me through
Bruised my life, black, red and blue.
I cannot wait to see you that day.
My soul slips past yours, and yours away.
Be careful what you wish for
The blood splatters, your heart I tore.
I love to read your mind, I say.
And watch my plan come into play.
How does it feel down there?
Screaming voices, ripping hair?
Enjoy your days living in Hell.
No more lies will you tell.

---

A twig snapped beneath those dirty boots. Didn't I tell you once before? I will not tolerate it.

Each day my eyes fall on you keeping you in my sight. You might not realize it, but I never misplace my toy.

Each step away from me you take, I follow close by. Our breathing matches, our pulses race. Can you feel it?

I know you can't see me; I keep my presence hidden. Don't worry about it. No harm will come to you.

Why are you running? What did I say wrong? All I did was care. You're the only one I love.

Everywhere my eyes fell, Death was around. Within the walls, it seeps, caressing life with his kiss. Souls were falling apart, sinking into a vast void. Struggling to end the pain, only to be greeted by him. Trees and flowers alike, desolate and bare Once touched only by the sun, now the food of his beasts. Screams, and crying, sobbing were music to his ears. Filling his sense of calmness, begging him to work more. Black and white, grey in between, slithered all around. Grabbing life in its grasp, choking, bleeding the colors out. Death has claimed this place. Murdered the life within. Glance upon this forbidden ground. Look into my eyes...if you dare.

I felt something strange
And the sensation caressed my mind.
This feeling was anew,
Forbiddenly unfelt.
It wasn't exactly cold;
Rather, it was the opposite.
Some would guess warm;
I claim scorching.
I saw some beautiful colors,
Those that run together.
These were colors I have never seen,
Changing into fear.
Yellows, all different, shimmered;
Oranges sparkled as one.
Reds, ruby and garnet, combined.
The colors clashed, yet ran together.
I smelled something disturbing,
The kind to haunt your dreams.
It came from somewhere really close,
From someone dear to me.
The smell was burning flesh,
Making its way to my nose.
The sensation I felt was the heat licking my skin...
The colors were...the flames.

I hate how you treat me.
Like a slave, a mother of yours.
I am a human being.
The mother of your child.

Footsteps. All around me.
Surrounding me as I walk.
One disctinct set...
Louder as I move.
Eyes. All I feel are eyes.
Staring at me, digging within.
The feel of them creep across my skin,
As I wonder...
Touch. You touch me.
In a non-threatening way, yet it is there.
Fingers slowly caressing...
Feeling their place.
Smell. Familiar.
One scent drowns out the rest.
Everywhere I go, I smell you.
Why are you doing this?
You act like I can't see you, but I can.
I know you are around.
What do you want?
Leave me alone!
You killed the one I loved!
Heartless and easy, I suppose.
You disgust me more than anything could.
How can you stand there, arms wide open for me?
My life is ruined because of you.
Have you no pity for what you did?
Get away from me.
I hope you die like she did.
Over you shoulder I see him...
A gentle smile crossing his lips.
It hits me then...
The key to make you feel pain like I have.

I see the movement out of the corner of my eyes, and that brings about the most devious smile I could muster. Entranced upon you, I watch, noting the way you carry yourself, the way you walk. I see who you talk to, and can even read your lips as to what you say. It sickens me that you still speak of her. I thought you were over her, after all the stuff she did to you! How can you go back to the lying slut? Time will eventually play out, I guarantee that. My steps match yours, from a distance, eyes never removing themselves from your body. My hands shove themselves into their respected pockets, fingers entwining over something smooth, cool to the touch, wet, sticky. As we continue this dance of fate, my smile widens, the sounds still echoing in my mind. The screams that came from her mouth, the gurgling, the gasps, and finally, the silence. You stop, to talk to another friend, only thins one seems frantic. Did they find her? The way I left her was remarkable, I tell you. Not a piece of clothing to make her decent, but rather show her for the whore she was. Her hair was ripped out, showing scalp in places. Cuts and slices marred her "perfect" body. You start running towards her house, a frantic look on your face. Once inside, I hear another scream, this one was yours. You turn away from the body and let your eyes fall on me. By this time, I have mastered the look of sorrow, of pain. You walk towards me and my arms open up for you, yet over your shoulder, the devious smile appears once more...

I see the way you stare at me.
The emptiness of your eyes,
Which screams so loudly,
Speaks of impending death.
The way you speak to me,
Inflection of the words that escape your mouth,
Prove something...
Something rather unsettling.
Your touch,
Burns like flames upon my skin.
Silently, I scream,
For the touch is of a torturous nature.
Every day that I lay my eyes upon you,
I want to die.
Memories come flooding back,
Thoughts begin to smother.
The air has vanished,
Rushing out of my lungs like deflated balloons.
Flames tickle my skin, scorching everything inside,
Yet my body remains untouched.
Harsh words of love spilled,
Carried by the dreaded wind of Hatred.
Your eyes spoke to me,
Telling me that everything was a lie.
And now, I lay here.
Lifeless eyes looking up to you.
I have only one question to ask you,
Nothing major...just a question.
How does it feel
To Kill a spirit within,
Knowing the damage you do...
With each blink, breath and touch?

Deception is a thing in the past,
Yet you live it day to day.
You lie constantly
You hurt those around.
You make plans with friends,
Only to turn around and lie.
Don't you realize,
Keep it up and we are gone.
I am not available at your beck and call.
Don't think you get what you want and leave.
For those who know me,
Know what is going on now.
I am back,
Awakened from the depths of the shadows.
Revenge is awesome,
When it comes from the heart.
Soon you will get what you deserve.
The pain, the intolerance will rush.
And no one will be there to catch you,
We'll all be too busy, watching...

All of these poems are written by myself and Copyright laws enforced. Duplication is strickly prohibited unless otherwise stated by me. Email: midnight_gardens@hotmail.com