Keely McEniry stepped inside the empty house and threw her keys on the table in the foyer. She hated staying the place alone, but Alex McLean, her boyfriend of five months, insisted that while she make herself at home while he was touring Europe with the rest of the Backstreet Boys.
Well, she wasn’t completely alone. AJ’s incessantly hyper Shitzus, Panda and Bear, were there to keep her company. As she walked by the kitchen, she checked their supply of food and water then knelt to pet each of the dogs in turn.
Keely flipped on the radio out of habit and hit the intercom to send the music throughout the house before continuing down the hallway. Passing her least favorite room on the way to change from her business suit into a comfortable pair of shorts and a t-shirt, she cringed.
She always hated the den. All the platinum records and other awards only reminded her that AJ couldn’t be with her as much as she liked. Sometimes, especially moments like now, she hated the music business, the Backstreet Boys and their fans. The things AJ loved and lived for. And because Keely loved him she dealt with it all as well as she knew how....until two days ago.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
It was Thursday night, going on month three of BSB’s European concert tour. Keely was listening to the dedication show on her favorite Orlando adult contemporary radio station while she worked on a publicity assignment for one of her new clients.
She always envied the women who called the show sending a song dedication to a boyfriend or husband. Those women were lucky enough to have their men come home every evening from a hard day’s work and greet them with a kiss and an exchange of ‘I love you’.
Keely never had the opportunity to hear those three words from AJ’s mouth. They had never made love or even had the chance to become more intimate than one or two makeout sessions. Neither had time to become that secure in the relationship.
They hadn’t been together a month before he was off to New York City for two weeks of promoting the new album. He returned home for seven days then hopped a plane for Gent, Belgium, where the Boys would polish up their dance moves and make last minute changes for the tour.
Daily emails and weekly phone calls replaced nights on the town and quiet dinners at home. Keely and AJ were forced to spend the “getting-to-know-you” stage on separate continents. Still no matter how far apart they were, Keely couldn’t help but fall in love with the charismatic, fun-loving, sensitive man that Alex was.
So instead of sharing a romantic dinner with her boyfriend on that Thursday evening, Keely spent the time listening to declarations of love from the radio and tried to concentrate on selling the merits of the newest internet service when the phone rang.
“Hi, Keels.”
“Alex?”
“Yeah, it’s me, babe. How are things holding up in O-Town? My house IS still standing, right?”
She laughed. “Yeah, it’s still here and Panda and Bear are just fine. They miss their daddy.”
“Tell them I miss them, too. What about you, sweetie? How are you?”
Keely sighed. “Okay.”
“Just okay? You don’t sound okay. You’re obviously working too hard.”
“No, you are,” she muttered too loudly.
“Huh?”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” AJ’s voice
overflowed with concern.
“Yeah, yeah. I miss you.”
“Aww, I miss having you around, too.” There was an unreadable pause.
“K, there is something I wanted to tell you...”
“Yes, AJ?” Keely answered eagerly thinking she would hear those three
words – or something close.
He sighed sadly knowing the news he had would break her heart as much
as it had his. “Keely, we’re staying here two weeks longer. The tour
has been extended.”
No, her heart cried out. Extended? He can’t. I need him here.
“I know, but it’s only two weeks. I’ll still
be home soon.”
“You’ve been gone three months. You were going to be home on
Saturday.”
“I know. Please don’t be upset. I will make
it up to you when I...”
“We’re done.”
“No, Keely, please.” He was begging, pleading her to stay as he felt
his heart constrict and his mind race. Can’t lose her. I love her. I
can’t lose her. Tell her, you fool. “Don’t do this now..please.”
“AJ, it’s for the best.” She paused in thought for a moment. “I’ll
keep coming to check the house, but I won’t be here when you get back.”
“Keely, I...”
“Bye, AJ.” With those two words and the click of the phone, she had
said goodbye to the man she loved.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Keely had felt the pain in her heart when reality struck seconds later
and it had remained for the next 48 hours. AJ had called twice that
night and several times the following day. She never answered, instead
listening to his pleas over the answering machine.
The day before she stayed at her condominium avoiding any of the
memories that his house brought. So now when she slipped into AJ’s
bedroom, the pain of reality and loss shuddered through her again.
She remembered the few nights she had contentedly lay in his embrace.
His voice in her ear. His touch on her skin. His kiss on her neck.
As the memories flooded her brain, the tears flowed from her brown
eyes. “What have I done?” She took a shirt from the closet and
inhaled the scent of musky cologne that lingered on it. “Oh God, I’m
sorry, Alex.”
Keely was startled from her anguish by the ringing of the telephone.
Thinking it might be AJ and wanting to at least hear his voice she
listened as the machine answered.
“Hey, wassup? This is AJ. Can’t come to the phone right now. You
know the drill. See ya.” Beep.
“Keely, sweetie, it’s Denise. If you’re there, pick up...okay, I
understand...Alex wanted me to call and make sure you were okay...He
said you had a fight...He’s worried about you, honey...I know this is
hard for you...It’s hard for a mother too. Please know that my son
misses you. He really does. Don’t give up on him just yet.”
Yeah, he misses me, but he sure as hell doesn’t love me.
“Sweetie, call me and we’ll talk.” Beep.
The tears began to flow again. She loved Denise nearly as much as she
loved her own mother. AJ’s mother had been the one thing that was
constant in her life while he was gone, a real friend despite the age
difference. But how could she talk to her about this? Keely couldn’t
give anyone a reason why she had just pushed the man she loved from her
life.
Keely lay on the couch still holding AJ’s shirt and continued to cry
silent tears. The music wasn’t helping her mood. “Save the Best for
Last”. “God Must Have Spent (A Little More Time on You)”. “From This
Moment On”. All love songs. All reminding her of what she no longer
had.
“It seems we have a long distance dedication tonight. An apology and
then some.” the disc jockey announced. “Caller, you are on the air.”
“I want to apologize to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, my job takes me
away for long periods at a time and I can’t be there for her as much as
I’d like to be. I called her recently and told her that I couldn’t
come home as I expected and would be gone a couple of more weeks.
“I know this hurt her. But there is something else I’ve been wanting
to tell her. I’ve been too cowardly to do it. Keely, sweetie, I know
you’re listening. Please forgive me. I love you.”
“Okay, your name, caller?”
“Alex.”
“Okay, I hope everything works out for you...For Keely from Alex, here
is 98 Degrees with ‘I Do (Cherish You).”
There they were again. The tears. The meaning of the words
registered in Keely’s mind. He loves me. “I love you too, AJ,” she
whispered then allowed the music to envelop her.
Her reverie was again broken - this time by the ringing of the
doorbell. Keely grabbed a tissue and dabbed her eyes trying in vain to
make herself look presentable to whomever stood on the other side of
the door.
Upon swinging it open, she was greeted by a pair of soft brown eyes
and beautiful smile. “AJ?”
“Shh. What does it matter? I came home to be with my girlfriend
because I love her. I have for a long time. It was just so hard for
me to say.” He thought for a minute and began singing quietly the
lyrics to another 98 Degrees song. “'Love is so easy to feel, but the
hardest thing to say.'”
Keely smiled. She placed her index finger on his lips then kissed him
sweetly. “I love you too, Alex.”
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