(I've only included the parts at the party, not the parts with Gale and Dewey. For that, go to the Whole Script .
Stu: You guys were tardy for the party so we started without you. My man!
(In living room)
Randy: How many Evil Deads?
Crowd: Yeah
Randy: One, Two. How many Hellraisers?
Sidney: Terror Train, Prom Night, how come Janie Lee Curtis is in all these movies?
Randy: She's the scream quen.
Stu: With a set of lungs like that she should be.
Randy: Yeah.
Tatum: tits, see.
(doorbell rings)
Stu: I'll get it. Hey Tate, grab me another beer, would ya!
Guy: There's more in the garage.
Tatum: What am I, the beer wench?
Randy: She was nominated..
Sidney: Yeah
Randy: She was nominated for Terror Train.
Stu: You are not going to believe who is here. It's that chick from Top Story.
Guy: Gale Weathers?
Stu: Here. Yeah.
(yelling)
Dewey: Your under age son. I'm kidding. Have a god time. Watch the driving.
Tatum: Dewey,
Gale: Hi.
Tatum: Dewey, what is she doing here?
Dewey: She's with me. I'm just checkin things out.
Tatum: So you did. Noe leave, and take your media mouth with you.
Girl 1: I just think you're awesome.
Gale: O, thank you very much.
Girl 2: I watch your show religiously.
Gale: That's great.
Sidney: Hey.
Dewey: Hey.
Sidney: Have you found my father?
Dewey: I'm afraid not.
Sidney: Should I be worried?
Dewey: Not yet.
( Tatum's Garage scene ) Sid: Tatum, come on! Stu, do you know where she is?
Stu: No, I havn't seen her.
(Billy shows up at the door.)
Sidney: Oh, Billy, hey.
Stu: Billy, what are you doing here?
Billy: I was hopin to talk to Sid alone.
Sid: You know, if Tatum see's you here she'll draw blood.
Stu: I'll tell you waht. Why don't you guys go up to my parents' room. You know, you can talk, whatever.
Billy: Subtelty Stu. You should look it up.
Sidney: No, I..It's ok. We do need to talk. (They go upstairs)
Randy: What's Leatherface doing here?
Stu: Cute, he came to make up.
Randy: There goes my chances with Sid. Dammit.
Stu: As if. That's all I'm sayin, as if.
Randy: Oh really, Alicia, "as if". I'm gonna go check on them.
( (Billy and Sidney go to the bedroom) (Later, in the living room) Randy: Look,look, look. Here it comes...
Crowd: Yeah! whhoooo!
Guy 1: The blood is all wrong. Why do they do that? It's too red.
Randy: Wait, here comes another one..
Crowd: oooh! yes!
Guy 2: Predictable. I knew he was gonna bite it.
Guy 3: How can you watch that shit over and over?
Randy: sshhhh.
Stu: I wanna see breasts. i wanna see Jamie Lee's breasts. When do we get to see Jamie Lee's breasts? Randy: Not until Trading Places in 83. Jamie was always a virgin in horror movies. She never showed her tits til she went legits.
Gilr: Could afford a decent pair.
Randy: That's why she always outsmarted the killer in the big chase scene. Only virgins can do that. Don't you know the rules?
Guy: What rules?
Randy: Jesus Christ, you dohn't know the rules?
Stu: Have an aneurysm why don't ya?
Randy: There are certain rules one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, you can never have sex.
Crowd: Booooo.
Randy: Big no-no. Big no-no.
Stu: I'd be a dead man.
Randy: OK, sex equals death. Number two, you can never drink or do drugs.
Crowd: Yeeaaah. Whooooo.
Randy: No, it's the sin factor. It's a sin. It's an extension of number 1. And number 3, never, ever ever, under any circumstances, say I'll be right back, cause you won't be back.
Stu: I'm gettin another beer, you want one?
Randy: Yeah, sure.
Crowd: ooohhhh!
Randy: You push the laws and you end up dead. OK, I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.
(later, phone rings)
Randy: Hello, yeah......Holy shit.
Guy: What are we waiting for?
Guy 2: Let's go over there before they bring him down.
Guys: Whhoooo
Randy: hey, hey.
Guy: Where did they say he was?
Guy 2: The football field.
Randy: Where are you guys going? We were just gettin to the good part.
They found principal Himbrey dead. He was gutted and hung from the goal posts on the football field.
