The Whistling Pig
I rank this up there with "One Tin Soldier"

"You didn't really drive 4 tanks abreast up to that town playing One Tin Soldier on loudspeakers? Of course we did, ammunition costs money!"

Robert Freeza "A Small Colonial War"

and Thomas Atkins by Kipling

Read first in "A Small Colonial War" I found this online as well at kawaiikunee.com

Excerpts from

The Whistling Pig,

As reported by
Robert Frezza

in the novels
A Small Colonial War, Fire in a Faraway Place & Cain's Land



CHORUS
'We're having a war,
and we want you to come!'
So the pig began to whistle
and to pound upon a drum
'We'll give you a gun,
and we'll give you a hat!'
And the pig began to whistle
when they told the piggies that!

GENERAL VERSES

The pig put on his webbing,
and they marched him up and down
He did it with a whistle,
so they gave him sand to pound
He crossed the burning desert,
and he trekked the arctic night
And they made him do it over
so he'd learn to do it right

The pig cleaned up his webbing,
and he shined his bayonet
Some people started shooting,
so he shot them with regret
He couldn't work an office,
and he couldn't be a clerk
For pigs who like to whistle,
like to whistle while they work

The pig went on vacations,
to places near and far,
For fighting wars on schedule,
makes for very good PR.
The generals love the piggies,
and the natives think them swell,
Or At least they often say so
after putting them through hell.

TOPICAL VERSES

The bombings and the shootings
kept the pig from getting sleep,
But mines are very nice
for keeping wolves away from sheep.
The general got impatient
when the natives tried to play,
But the Piggy cleaned a pistol,
and the problem went away!

Some people dressed in colors
with the money that they had,
The strutted in their costumes
'til they made the piggies mad.
They made themselves a nuisance
when they tried to legislate,
But pigs who like to whistle
also like affairs of state.



ENDING VERSES



Pigs whistle when they lose,
and they whistle when they win,
'Cause when the shooting's over
they scrub off and start again.

Wars are sometimes over
and they debited his pay,
They took away his hat
and then they took his gun away,
They told him they were thankful
and they split him north to south
As they fried him with a whistle
and an apple in his mouth!

The pig had bought a homeland
and he earned it with his sweat,
He filled it full of corpses
just to liquidate the debt.
He taught the people manners
and it didn't take him long
To teach them how to whistle
and to sing The Whistle Song!

The pig came home from warring
and began to sing a song,
"My homeland isn't perfect
but it's closer right than wrong."
He wore a sprig of laurel,
and he waved an olive twig,
And he whistled to the people
so he'd be a whistling pig!

Someday, there won't be fighting,
they'll put the guns away,
Men will love each other,
and join their hands to pray.
Peace will come forever,
people won't get shot and die-

And on that day, the pigs
will spread their wings and fly!

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