twyshch19

CHAPTER 20 Warm, slow. Slow warmth...it flooded through me as we sat comfortably at the kitchen table. The words flowed smoothly from AJ's mouth, taking shape: he was planning how we were going to help out our friends' relationships on this particular December night. The overhead light spread a pleasant glow on us, seated here, and cast deep shadows into corners and hallways. All around us the house was silent, but right here there was nothing but our own private party: our own slow warmth, warm and slow. The wooden chair dug into my back, and I shifted in my seat as I observed AJ. He sat, elbows on the table, leaning forward excitedly. His eyes were lit up, gleaming - a sight I was quite used to, as it meant he wasup to something. His once-pink hair, now back to its normal dark brown color, was growing out some and no longer stood on end. I admired the way his muscles seemed so defined, sleek in this light - and then of course there were the tattoos. Gotta love 'em. In the aftermath of our recent misunderstanding, AJ looked better to me than ever. I broke free of my daydreaming to return to the present conversation. "So, why don't we call them all up and do a little matchmaking?" he was saying eagerly. "We can find out how one feel about the other. And if they both like each other, well we can drop a few hints, can't we?" He broke out into a silly grin, as if congratulating himself on a particularly bright idea. "I don't see why not," I agreed amiably, stretching my long arms out across the table, working out knots from muscle. AJ pushed his chair back and stood, going to the wall to get the cordless phone. I followed his movement with my eyes, watching hungrily as he took long strides, his body graceful. What's getting into you tonight, Becky? I asked myself playfully. I'm usually not this way... He returned to the table and sat across from me. Once again his feet tangled with mine, out of our sight under the table. "First up: Kevin and Anne," he announced. "I'll try Anne first," I offered, taking the phone from his outstretched hand. I dialed her number and waited patiently as it rang on the other end. After five rings, the answering machine picked up. "Must be at a party," I said, hanging up the phone. "Damn." AJ's brow wrinkled, a sign that he would refuse to give up. "I can still talk to Kevin, at least." He took the phone back from me and punched in the numbers. He rested it against his ear and waited. Suddenly I heard someone pick up on the other end. A look of shock passed across AJ's face, and he thrust the phone at me. "It's Anne!" he whispered excitedly. "I think I woke her up!" I grabbed the phone from him and pressed it to my ear. "Hello?" I said, biting my lip. "Yeah, who is this?" I heard Anne say, her voice deep and rasping with slumber. In the background I could vaguely make out the sound of sheets ruffling and the thump of a pillow. "Anne, are you sleeping with Kevin?" I asked, astounded. Her voice turned cranky. "What does it sound like we're doing? Of course we were sleeping. Can't you tell you woke us up..." She would have gone on for hours had I not interrupted. "Sorry, I meant...are you SLEEPING, sleeping with him? You know..." I paused, not knowing how to say it. I ran my fingers through my hair, waiting for a response. AJ had his neck craned toward me, anxious to hear what Anne had to say. "Well, yeah, if you must know," she grumbled after a moment of contemplation. "And it's damn good too!" AJ somehow managed to hear that comment of Anne's and started laughing his ass off across the table. I offhandedly slapped him on the arm to keep him quiet. I decided to try a different tactic. "Well, Anne, how do you feel about Kevin, exactly?" I said slowly. "In your heart?" Anne seemed to think this one over for a while. "Hmm..." she said. "I don't know. He's really nice, and all. I like him a lot..." Suddenly, in the background, I heard none other than Kevin say in a sleepy voice, "Anne, honey, come back to bed," and this time it was I who could not keep my laughter in check. I hurriedly gave Anne my apologies for waking her up and hit the hang up button before dissolving in a fit of giggles. "Well, there's no question about THEIR relationship," AJ remarked sarcastically. "'Anne, honey, come back to bed,'" he mocked in a high pitched voice, sending me into further fits of laughter. I leaned over, slapping the table, nearly choking. "I'm sure he's gonna hear about that one very soon--from yours truly." I brought myself back under control (with great difficulty) and thought for a moment. "I don't know if they love each other, though. But then, they did just meet yesterday. They're moving so fast...It worries me." "Yeah, well, everybody's different." AJ got up, pretending he desperately needed to do something at the sink, and not fooling me for an instant. I knew he was thinking about me, and I irrationally felt ashamed, though I had no reason to. He was making it quite clear to me that he itched for more in our relationship, but I still wasn't ready. The thought that I was hurting him felt like cold water in my stomach. What would it feel like to sleep with him? I asked myself. A tangled mess of skin and sheets and sweat... I couldn't even begin to imagine. Or maybe I could, and was simply too afraid to allow myself. Once I started thinking about it, I knew it would be too late to go back. Why was I thinking like that, anyway? AJ was so good to me, and he really wasn't trying to rush me into anything. I didn't want to mess things up any more than I already had. He sat himself down across from me yet again, avoiding my eyes. His voice was absent as he said, "Well then. Let's move on." Two can play at this game. "Yes. Let's." I smiled, just as cold and detached as he, masking the heat that had crept upon myself so unexpectedly. AJ got comfortable, placing his elbows back on the table and stretching out his legs. He appeared to be getting back in the mood to have some fun, as he rolled up his sleeves and flashed a pearly-white grin in my direction. "Let's get back to work!" he exclaimed determinedly. "We have some g's and honeys to hook up!" "True dat, homey, let's get this phat shit back on the street," I said dryly, my voice dripping sarcasm. I picked up the phone and played with the buttons absently, the hypothetical gears in my mind clicking and whirring. "Brian and Eilene are going to take a bit more effort than those last two, I'm afraid. We have Leighanne to deal with." I set the phone back down and looked up at AJ, my eyes penetrating. "I've never even met this girl. Are you sure we're doing the right thing here? Maybe Brian and Leighanne don't need us to interfere..." I gestured with my arms, trying to make a point. "Trust me." He leaned back in his chair, tipping it up onto its back two legs. "All that bitch has ever wanted is B-rok's money. She's beautiful, and he fell for her, but he's starting to see the light." "You're going to break your head open like that," I pointed out. He glared at me, not changing his position. "Watch me." I sighed, crossing my arms. "Anyway. If you're sure this is a good idea..." "I'm sure." He brought his chair back to rest on all four legs again, and I breathed easier. "Brian's only known Eilene a day, but there was something there in his eyes. This could be the best thing I've ever done for him." "That's good," I said, "because you're going to do it. Not me." I handed the phone over to him, my eyes hard. He looked surprised, his eyebrows rising. "Why?" "I know what it's like for somebody to come between you and the person you love--or that you think you love, in this case. I don't want to be the one doing it this time. I'll talk to Eilene, but you can deal with Brian and Leighanne." Silence fell for a moment as AJ pondered the proposal I'd laid on the table. His eyes clouded and I knew he would do the right thing. He only wanted to help. I could hear his breathing and my own in the quiet, as well as the creaks of the house settling and the tick-tock of the old grandfather clock. Finally, he looked up at me and said, "Well then. What are we waiting for?" After some moments of careful deliberation, I was ready to get on the phone and do my thing. AJ simply sat at the table and waited for his turn while I worked my magic. "Yeah, hey Brentan. This is Becky. Uh huh. Is Eilene there?" I rolled my eyes as I was put on hold. Things were in full swing at the Kales household tonight, I noted. I could hear the screaming of four adolescent girls as well as a television and perhaps a radio at the same time. "Hello?" Eilene said, out of breath. To someone else at her house: "Alisan! Get off the computer NOW! I wanna use it!" And back to me: "Sorry. So what's up?" I smiled in understanding. With three younger sisters and parents that were rarely home, Eilene was in charge of the family. There was never a dull moment when the Kales sisters were around. "Not too much," I said noncommittally. Maybe she would bring up the topic herself, if I was lucky. Fat chance. "What are you up to at one o'clock in the morning?" she asked amusedly. "Actually," I said smoothly, "I'm at AJ's house." I cast a glance over at the man himself, who was playing with his fingernails intently. What a nut. "You're at AJ's house?!" Eilene shouted. "Did you guys do it?!" I broke out laughing. "Thanks for being subtle, honey. No, we did NOT do it." At that comment, AJ snapped his head up and his eyebrows shot to the ceiling. "You're gonna cause me trouble if you keep asking me questions like that," I joked. "You might give him ideas." "You guys need to do it. Soon," Eilene commented thoughtfully. "Thank you for your input, Eilene," I sighed, asking myself how we got into this conversation. "What I was actually wondering was..." "Derren, I swear to god, if you don't stop trying to put Fluffy in the washing machine I am going to kill you!" I could hear things banging and more people yelling. "I'm sorry. What were you wondering?" "It's about last night," I started. "Did you have fun?" "Of course I had fun! What do you think I am, a nun?" she squealed. I knitted my eyebrows together in confusion. Another fun piece of Eilene logic for me to ponder. "Um, no," I muttered. "This is about-" "Oh my god!" she shouted. "Look at that! Ricky Martin is so hot!" I slammed my hand down on the table. "Eilene!" I yelled into the phone. "Will you listen to me for ONE SECOND?" I earned another strange look from AJ, but ignored it and kept on trying to get Eilene's attention. "This is really important, and I'd appreciate it if you would concentrate on what I'm saying. I agree that Ricky Martin is hot--" "What?!" AJ yelled. "--But this is about Brian." Eilene fell silent at the mention of his name. "Oh," was all she meekly said. "Now what I want to know," I finished exasperatedly, "is you how feel about him. Can you give me five minutes of your time and answer me honestly?" I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. "Well..." she hesitated, but the need to talk to someone won over reluctance. "I like him a lot. I only met him last night, and I know he's famous and all, so that could be a part of it, but I've never felt like that about anybody before. It's like, we just...clicked." She paused. "Why exactly are you asking, anyway?" It was time to get down to it, as much as I didn't want to. I closed my eyes and asked, "Eilene. You know he has a girlfriend, right?" Silence. "Excuse me?" "You mean he didn't tell you?" I asked, shocked. I hadn't seen this one coming, for the last thing I would have expected would have been for Brian to hide something like this. He was so honest, so open. "He's been seeing a girl named Leighanne for some time," I said, upset. "Oh my god," Eilene whispered, her voice rough. "He didn't tell me, he didn't say anything about it to me. He seemed so nice-" "He is nice, Eilene. And I know he likes you." I wanted to reach out, to comfort her, but the wonders of modern technology would not allow it. Her voice was hard as steel. "If he liked me, he would have told me about his girlfriend." She breathed out air through pursed lips, and her voice rose. "Shit! It's irrelevant whether he likes me or not. He's with somebody right now. I don't matter..." Her voice cracked. "No, honey," I murmured in my own attempt to soothe her wounded pride. "You do matter. Don't talk like that. Brian and Leighanne's relationship is deteriorating... AJ sees it with his own eyes, and I trust him. All I ask is that you don't give up, Eilene. As soon as Brian finishes it with Leighanne, you'll be the first person he thinks of. I promise. Okay?" She was regaining some of her strength and trying desperately not to cry. "Okay. But if for some reason things work out between them, I do NOT want to come between that. Do you understand me?" "I understand you perfectly," I said quietly. "I'll talk to you later." I hung up the phone and looked at AJ. We sat for a few minutes in stillness, just looking at each other. Even he was shaken by the power of what Eilene felt. "Now that," he said evenly, "is a woman I respect." "Me too," I said, subdued. "I always have." AJ sat up further in his chair, looking straight at me. "But to think," he said, gesturing freely with his right hand, "to think that she would rather be alone than to interfere in Brian and Leighanne's relationship, affair - whatever - is amazing to me. She obviously feels really strongly for him, yes?" I was tired, drained. "Yes. That's what I believe. Not that it makes any sense, but then what does when you're in love?" More silence. Eilene's situation touched me deeply. What would it be like to be in her shoes? She finds a guy who's sweet and charming and like her in just about every way. Then...she finds out that he has a girlfriend. A girlfriend he's been with for a long time. On top of that, he leads her to believe that he likes her...Well, now she cares for him too much to even act on her feelings. Not wanting to hurt Brian in any way, and she fears that if she tries to interfere with his girlfriend, he will be hurt. She was trapped in a corner, and my heart went out to her. Finally, after the silence became too heavy to bear: "Damn it, AJ, call Brian and get his side of the story." I slid him the phone across the table and waited for him to dial Brian's apartment. How long had I been sitting at this kitchen table? I asked myself wearily. It seemed like ages, but there was still work to do. Lots of it. The entire Brian and Eilene situation was complicated to the extreme, but now AJ and I felt an obligation to do our part. We couldn't just let it go...we were too involved now. I watched through tired eyes as AJ held the cordless phone with his right hand, punching in the numbers to Brian's apartment with his thumb. I rested my head in my hands and let my eyes drift shut as I listened to Brian and AJ's one-sided conversation. From what I deducted from the first few broken sentences, Leighanne was over at Brian's house at that very moment. What luck, I thought dryly. Now how are we supposed to grill him for information? I picked up from AJ's tone that Brian was miserable. Now, ordinarily I wouldn't wish misery upon anyone, least of all Bri. But this was a good sign in a way: it meant that he was tiring of his relationship with Leighanne. She was smothering him and starting to invade his space, and I knew that every time he wished he was away from Leighanne, he also wished he could be with Eilene. Brian was a guy who needed to laugh and have a good time. Eilene could give him that, while Leighanne could not. From what I'd heard.Since Leighanne was at the apartment, AJ tactfully decided to ask Brian only yes or no questions as to avoid any kind of suspicion. "Hey, remember Becky's friend Eilene from the other night?" Pause. "Of course you do, man, sorry but I had to ask. Hey, you thought she was nice, right?" Pause. "Ooh, that nice, huh?" He grinned evilly. "So you thought she was MORE than nice?" A long pause. "Did it ever occur to you to tell her that you have a girlfriend?!" A touch of anger crept into his voice as he thought of the indignity forced on Eilene. "Well, buddy, you need to make up your mind." After a few more minutes of question-and-answer, AJ hung up the phone and sighed exhaustedly. "What a mess," he groaned, running his fingers through his hair. "I swear, Brian doesn't know which way is up right now." "That bad, huh?" I scrunched up my nose in confusion. "Brian has major issues. He admits to liking Eilene, but he won't break up with Leighanne. He can't find it in him to end it. I just don't understand." "But why would he want to stay with her if she treats him as badly as you say?" I asked exasperatedly. "He doesn't want to hurt her?...I have no idea," AJ admitted. "He says Eilene is one crazy woman, and he likes to be around her. But then he says, 'I'm with Leighanne now, AJ. I care about her. There's nothing I can do about Eilene now!'" AJ imitated Brian's soft southern accent. "So I told him, and these are my exact words, 'B-Rok, I thought I knew you pretty well, but maybe I was wrong. The Brian I know would never let something this good slip through his fingers.'" "Good advice." I nodded approvingly. "Yeah, well, not good enough if Brian doesn't follow it." AJ coughed a few times and got up to get himself a glass of water. I pushed my chair back and got up as well, as we had been sitting at the table for an excruciatingly long time and my muscles were quickly becoming stiff. I followed AJ to the refrigerator and got myself a cold drink, gulping it down thirstily. "Let's forget about them for now," I said suddenly, setting my empty glass down in the sink. "There's nothing more we can do for them tonight." "You're right." AJ came up behind me and slipped his arms around my waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder and gave my neck a feather-light kiss. "Who's next on our list?" I smiled as his moustache tickled my skin. "Gillie and Howie. Remember when Gillie fainted when she saw you guys backstage at the concert?" "How could I forget?" AJ grimaced. I turned around so that I was facing him and placed my hands on his chest, letting them wander as I spoke. "Well, ever since then she's been even more shy as usual, but I know she has a thing for him. Maybe if we call them separately, like we've been doing, they'll admit to liking each other." "Well, Howie likes her, there's no doubt about that," AJ murmured thoughtfully. "I don't think we have a problem here." "Thank God," I sighed in relief. "We've had enough problems for one night." We both smiled, and AJ gave me a quick kiss on the lips before we got ready to make our last phone calls. We decided that AJ could call Howie while I went to find the bathroom. I left the kitchen and plodded, barefoot, through dark carpeted hallways. The stillness was absolute - and there was total silence except for the barely-there echo of AJ's voice in the kitchen. On the way back I took my time, savoring the cool darkness that enveloped me...There was so much going on right now, and I needed to clear my head for a moment I eventually returned to the kitchen and resumed my usual spot at the table, where AJ was just wrapping up his conversation with Howie. "How did it go with our pal Howie D?" I asked, slipping into the chair. "Not bad," he said cheerfully. "Not bad at all." He crossed his legs loosely beneath the table and continued. "I woke him up, but he was pretty eager to talk. He's one of my best friends and all, so I just went ahead and asked him straight up if he likes Gillian. To make a long story short, yeah, he likes her a lot even though she seemed pretty quiet last night. He wanted to get her number but I didn't have it on me, so I just told him you could have Gillie call him." "Good work!" I grinned and high-fived AJ. "Now if Gillie is that cooperative, we won't have a problem." "I sure hope not," said AJ, rapping his knuckles on the wooden table. "Howie doesn't fall for girls too often. He's more conservative than..." "You?" I cut in absently while dialing Gillian's number on the phone. AJ gave me a sarcastic look as he slid back his chair and went to use the bathroom. After three rings, Gillie picked up the phone, seemingly out of breath. "Hello?" "Gil?" I asked curiously. "What are you doing?" "Hey Becky," she breathed heavily. "I'm going out clubbing with Alison and Cara," she named two of her friends that were visiting from out of town. "I was on my way out the door when the phone rang." "You're leaving at one o'clock in the morning?!" I asked incredulously. Her tone grew defensive. "Why not?" "No reason," I sighed. "Anyway, I was just wondering something. Do you like Howie?" "Do I like Howie?" Gillie repeated. "Howie is part of the Backstreet Boys, in case you forgot. Every girl on the face of the planet likes one of them. That means one-fifth of every girl on the planet likes Howie. Well, probably less, because an abnormally large percentage like Nick Carter. Though I really don't understand that, because Howie is..." "Gillie," I broke through her monologue. "Stop stalling and answer the question." "Well...yeah, I like him," she admitted sheepishly. "Then why don't you call him up?" I suggested, playing with the hem of AJ's T-shirt with my free hand. Gillie sounded incredulous. "Me?! Call up Howie Dorough? Are you crazy? He's rich and famous and why the hell would he want me to call him? Becks what are you smoking?!" I laughed easily. "He likes you, Gil. Call him. Just go with the flow and see what happens." I hung up the phone and smiled. That wasn't so hard. The fact that a Backstreet Boy was actually a normal person and liked to go out with other real people seemed quite a shock to Gillie. It was very cute, in a naïve sort of way. But then, that was Gillian. She and Howie would go great together. AJ strolled back into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets. "How did that go?" I gave him a brief synopsis of what Gillie and I had discussed. "Hey AJ," I said teasingly. "Remember the last time you went clubbing?" I shot him a grin across the table. "Hmm," AJ muttered, stroking his chin and pretending to be lost in thought. "As a matter of fact I do. It seems that I met a very beautiful woman." "You don't say?" I feigned surprise. "What a coincidence! I happened to meet a very charming, sexy man." AJ looked confused. "Sexy? Oh, yes, I forgot the sexy part. I met a beautiful, SEXY woman." "That's better." "I wonder what ever happened to that beautiful, sexy woman..." AJ's body shook with laughter as I shot him a nasty glare and slapped him upside the head. "You just watch it, Alexander James. You know I can beat you down," I growled. This man is such a nut, I thought to myself. I felt happy just being there with him. "You know what?" AJ murmured, squinting his eyes at me. "We're forgetting all about Nick and Ryan." "Nick and Ryan?" My eyebrows shot to the ceiling. "AJ, you know as well as I do that nothing we do or say could possible help their relationship. They're already head over heels in love with each other...thanks to me of course." "You're right!" AJ exclaimed, acting goofy as usual. "They flirt like mad and hang out together day and night. They can't get enough of each other. Poor Nick, he's been dominated! Put into submission! Turned into a..." "Okay, okay, I get the picture," I interrupted impatiently, amusement creeping into my voice. We both laughed softly because, after all, what AJ said was so very true. They acted like schoolchildren when they were around each other. Playing tricks on each other...teasing each other about every little thing...and then making out whenever they thought no one was looking. It was so strange and different to me, because AJ and I had never acted that way. When AJ and I were around each other, I felt a kind of tension crackle in the air around us. It was watching over us...waiting... It drew me to him, slowly, inexorably. When we were joking around, having a serious conversation, dancing, whatever - it was there. AJ and I sat at the table in silence, thinking, as our evening wound down. Our eyes met again over the table - and the tension was there. I felt it. And I decided I liked it. HOME BACK TO TABLE OF CONTENTS