Media has been a great, empowering aid for me as I first dealt emotionally with the knowledge of my friend's abuse, and then on a more rational, activist level. Certain songs would come on the radio and I would freeze, stop whatever I was doing or thinking, and listen as I heard someone else's voice sing about the things I had felt for the last three months.
Music was my first guide through the dark period of my life when I felt helpless, inadequate, and stupid for feeling this bad because it wasn't really my problem and I must be alone in my pain. I didn't think I had a right being affected as I was, which only added to my distress. The songs proved that I wasn't alone and had at least a reason to feel what I felt. After music, I discovered books, poetry, and artwork on being a secondary-survivor. I stopped being alone and became a statistic, which was a cold comfort at first, but I later found helpful. I read books published by prosurvivors whose children or lovers had been hurt sexually, and the text was geared toward friends as well. This symbolized to me that my emotions were real enough and, not only did others experience them, but they wrote books to help people in my exact situation. Without media affirming me and telling me my emotions were not baseless, I cannot imagine getting through some of the days when I felt too helpless to move.
I have collected song lyrics, quotes and a list of book titles which have helped me and I hope will inspire you similarly. Thank you for visiting this page, and please e-mail me if you have any suggestions of things you would like added to this page.