was tired of pigeon. And pigeon jokes. It seemed everywhere he
went there was some silly story writer jamming a pigeon down his
throat. Sometimes they hadnt even been cooked! Well he knew
when he wasnt wanted around. Oh yes he did. And he did not
have to stand around and take that kind of abuse. No he
didnt. It was about time the Aes Sedai learned just how
much they needed him. Yes it was. They would miss him when he was
gone.. Oh yes they would. And then they would be sorry. They
would beg him to come back! They would offer him dinners of roast
beef and potatoes and some Green Blend mint tea. And
if they didnt he wouldnt come back. He knew when he
He finished packing his belongings. A spare pair of clean smallclothes which he was saving for a special occasion, his autographed picture of Ben T-Gaidin, he really didnt know where he had gotten that, but hey, it was kinda neat and the frame was shiny so he kept it around, and finally his pillow. It was a really great pillow and he had invested much time and interest in breaking it in. It had just gotten to the perfect shape and softness and there was no way in Randland that he was going to leave it behind now.
Muttering to himself he walked out of the White Tower not even noticing the Novices making sure he wasnt on his way to the dovecote. Oh he knew where he wasnt welcome. Yes he did.
He also knew where he was welcome. he had been told of a haven for men on the fringes of society like himself. And even if his reputation preceded him, which he was sure it would... for a place without any form of mass communication or mass transit rumors spread surprisingly quickly, he would still be welcome. It was even said that the leader of these men had been caught with chicken feathers in his mouth! Yes, when those Aes Sedai came begging for him to return they just might find that he didnt want to come! They would offer him the Amyrlins rooms, and then the whole White Tower, and then all the Aes Sedai in filmy dresses to wait on him (even though that was more of an Ender thing it would be an interesting story to tell his grandchildren), they would come to him crying and apologizing for everything they had done and even some things they hadnt done just to be sure they didnt miss anything. Oh yes they would. And then he would look down on them kneeling at his feet and would say No. Yes he would. And then they would offer him a country or two, they would force the ruler to abdicate and give it to him! And he would look down at them again and pretend to consider their apology. But of course he would say No again. And then he would say Yes you need me now dont you. You need me betcha wish you had thought of that before and not been mean to me dontcha? Dontcha? See now it is really too late for you. Yes it is. Because I happen to like it here, and the guys like me too. I have real friends here... not friends that are just using me. Yes I do. And maybe I dont want to come back! Maybe I have found people like me! And maybe we have more fun here! Maybe we do! And then he would cease his tirade and allow them time to feel the full effect of his speech. And then they would cry. Oh yes they would. Because they were girls. And girls cry. He would leave the room while they were still weeping over how horrible they were. And then they would go back to the White Tower and redecorate it to suit him and start preparing a huge feast and pretending to be crazy so that he would come back. And maybe he would come back, and bring some of his friends back with him. And if he liked it he might stay.. And if he didnt well.. At least he knew someplace he was wanted...
Sathinar followed his train of thought all the way to the Black Tower. Yes, this could easily be home. The taints effect on the human male resulted in behavior and attitudes very similar to Sathinars. Yes he would be welcome here. He looked around. Sitting next to a tree was a man in a black coat talking to a chicken, not just confiding in it.... he was actually carrying on a discussion about thermodynamics with the poor bird. Now that was something Sathinar had never done. Not even in someone elses silly story. Yes, he had been forced to eat pigeons, but never, not Once!, had he talked to the bird first. That was just plain crazy. Warily he continued walking toward the farmhouse he assumed was the main building.
Reverently Callandor stacked the cleaning supplies in his arms keeping a hand free to carry his new broom. He would have to think of a majestic name for that broom soon, but right now his Tower needed him and he should be on his way. He pulled the door partway open with his pinky and then pushed it the rest of the way open with his foot and backed out. He turned around to face the hallway and shrieked throwing his packages up in the air. Reflexively he dove for the floor cushioning the fall of his broom. Then he looked back at the horrendous object which had caused his intense reaction.
Kaylie popped her head out of her disguise. It had worked!! In the back of her mind she wondered if this could count as her novice prank and she could be raised already. In the front of her mind she thought about just how she would like her bologna sandwich for lunch, mustard and mayo? Mayo and mustard? Lettuce? In the middle of her mind she thought VICTORY! GO KAYLIE.. GO KAYLIE!
Callandor blinked as what had appeared to be a huge dustball turned into a young girl. Then his eyes bulged and he covered his ears as the amplified sound of microphone feedback squealed through his mind.
Kaylie had much the same reaction to much the same sound. As the squealing ceased a voice could be heard by both of them through the ringing in their ears TEST. THIS IS A TEST. There was a muffled thudding noise, much as a huge thumb tapping a huge microphone might sound. TEST. 1.. 2... 3... A pause and some mutterings followed by HEEEEEEEELLLO LADIES AND GERMS! THIS IS A TEST OF THE DARK ONE BROADCASTING SYSTEM! IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOMEONE WAS THINKING IN ALL CAPS AND THAT SOMEONES THOUGHTS WERE JUST BROADCAST TO A LARGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE! NOW USUALLY I WOULDNT MAKE MUCH OF A BIG STINK ABOUT THIS, BUT I JUST GOT THIS NEW PA SYSTEM AND I REEEEEEAAAALLLY WANTED TO TRY IT OUT! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT ALL CAPS IS MY TRADEMARK AND I WOULD THANK YOU TO REMEMBER THAT AS WELL. ALRIGHTYO. THATS ABOUT IT I THINK, I AM GOING TO GO BACK TO WATCHING THE KIDS IN THE HALL NOW. MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!
The static in the background of the message suddenly stopped as did the maniacal laughter. Kaylie looked at Callandor, Callandor looked at Kaylie. Could it be that the Dark One had begun to touch the world again?