Site hosted by Build your free website today!
Title: On Getting Rid of Gholams (Silly RP, really bad)
Posted By: Lasir
Posted On: 10/12/99 7:17:24 PM

All of you MUST forgive me for this. :) It's coming right off the top of my head. ;)

Lasir scowled as the flower covered pigeon came back, slightly singed, with a message tied to its leg.

"Dang it, Demmy. You don't have to ROAST the bloody things!"

She set the pigeon off in the general direction of the coop, hoping that this one would make it before that weirdo with the feathers in his mouth found it. She opened up the message, and read it.

"Lasir. Stop."

She looked around and then pitched her voice lower. "To kill a Gholam, you have to throw burning socks at it. Stop."

She looked around again, and thought for a moment. She didn't own socks. Just thigh high hosiery and her White Boots of Doom. She looked at the note again.

"Yes, they can be smelly. Stop. Really. Stop. Love and Kisses, Demmy."

"Smelly socks, eh? I know just the thing!"


She marched out into the Practice Grounds and looked hawkishly over the pickings. Accepted and Sedai alike were swooning over the Wards as they practiced their forms. She walked over to Darkseid and tilted up her head.

"How are you, Darks?" she said, cautiously. He took a moment out of muttering about beer and concrete long enough to acknowledge her presence.

"Hello, Lasir. I'm fine. Except for this bruise on my shin. It hurts!"

"Want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"No, that's what Ash is for."

"Fair enough. I need to borrow some Wards."

"What for this time?"

"I need their socks," she whispered, looking to her left and right. If the Amyrlin found out...

"Jeez Lasir, you don't have to ask me for that," he grumbled and rubbed his elbow. "Just take 'em, I don't care."

"Thanks!" she yipped and hugged him, which he didn't seem to mind much.


Lasir tapped Lanfir on the shoulder and dropped a quick curtsey. "Lanfir, could you open me a Gateway to an undisclosed location that I don't really know the spot where it's at but need to get there anyway, so that I may save the world... again?"

Lanfir rolled her eyes and started up the weave. "Sure, Lasir. That's what I'm here for. Weave weave weave. Lanfir, can you make a Gateway? Lanfir, can I play with your Warders? Lanfir, can I see your -"

"Lanfir, how're the sheep?"

"Oh fine thanks!" The Head of the Battle Ajah beamed. "One of them peed today! It was so cute!"

They both giggled insanely and nearly fell over laughing. "Woo boy," Lasir said. "Nothing like a flaming sheep!"

Lanfir waved as Lasir led the usual crowd through the Gateway - Jaks and Jayce and Jhae and 12 other people whose names started with J. It closed behind them, and Jhae turned to look at the spot where it was. "I gotta learn that weave."

"You don't know it yet?" Lasir asked, her jaw dropping.


"Drat. Now it's gonna take us a whole week to get back. Bloody....ashes...bloody..."

"Lasir! Language!" Jayce said with a smirk. She brushed a little lint off her shoulder and looked warily around the ... woods.

"Where're we at? They got food?" Jaks asked, munching on a bit of fried rabbit. Lasir's stomach rumbled. Souvan looked distinctly unimpressed.

"We're at....the place where the Wolfkin are that technically we don't know about," Lasir announced with a flourish.

"Does Aldazar know about this?" Souvan asked.

"I hope not. We're here to find Darksmoon."

"Again?" the group said, with a groan. She folded her arms under her cleavage. She got the distinct feeling that somewhere, some way, Joe and Soraya were in a nook somewhere...doing nook type things. She shuddered and made a face.

"Yes again! He has the smelliest socks in Randland next to Jarron! I need those socks!!"

"Someone called my name?" Jarron asked, peeking his head in through a Gateway. Jhae swooned. He grinned at Lasir and made a kissy face, then got all serious again. "I do NOT have stinky feet!"

"Do too."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Do not."
"Do too - Oh hush, J! You're not even in this storyline!"

The Dragon Reborn stuck out his tongue, Lasir pierced it and all was well again.

"Now, for those soc -"

"Yeah?" Darksmoon said, popping up out of a few bushes. Souvan looked distinctly unimpressed.

"Darks! I need your socks!" Lasir yelled, tossing herself at him shamelessly and raining kisses on him. The Wolfkin grinned.

"Well, okay, but um....I have to come too, and...I want a smooch!!" Darks said, his hands on his hips.

"Well, okay. But you'll have to hide. You know how made the Amyrlin gets when I bring back strays."


Speaking of the Amyrlin, she was dusting off the last of her month's supply of pudding cups, when suddenly her Ammy senses started tingling.

"Lasir's gone!" she yelled and grumbled. Where was her Gaidin?! This called for more pudding. "Joe? Josef?"

She snarled and pressed the button for the Keeper.

"Yes, Mother?" Serafelle said, looking in from writing secretive email to Ben. She looked slightly dazed.

"Bring me more pudding! And where is Lasir? And Jhae? And the rest of her little Tribe of Terror?"

"She left a note, Mother."

"Bout time. What'd it say?"

"That she'd be back at around 3 o'clock."

"Well... make sure that when she gets back, she makes some more pudding. And none of that low fat stuff, you hear?!"

"Yes Mother. Mother, how do you spell 'pulsating?'"

"P-u-l-s...Sera, scoot."

"Yes, Mother."


"So who IS Jimmy?"

"I don't know, Darks. But whenever she talked about him, I don't have to do chores," Lasir said.

"And the reading lamp?"

"You'd have to ask Sor - hi Lanfir!" Lasir yelped, as Darks ducked behind her, hands on her hips. The Head of the Almighty Green Ajah (available for weddings!) looked suspicious.

"Who's that behind you, Lasir?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.


"Oh. Okay. Tell him I need him later to hold down a little bit of string while I...tie a bow."

"You got it!" Lasir quipped, and saluted, as the Green went along her way.

"Did she see me?" Darks asked, peeking around Lasir's cleavage.

"No, I don't think so. Hands to yourself!!"



The men were lined up against the wall, their shoes removed and Jhae had thrown up a protective wall of Air between Lasir and the row of tall good looking but stinky footed men of the world of DM.

"Are you ZURE he zzaid that thizz waz zee only way?" Jhae has, holding her nose. Lasir nodded.

"Yezz. Steenky zockz."

The took a deep breath, and the wall went up, and Lasir yanked all the socks off and put them in a big pile in the middle of the room, and set fire to them with a deft weave.

"Everybody OUT!" she screamed, and was near trampled as the brave men of DM scrambled en masse to remove themselves from her bedroom. Out of the shadows ran one Grey Woman, and a large Gholam.

"Curse you, Lasir!" he said.

Actually, it was more like "*muffled* Lasir! Blood *muffled* *gag*" but we like drama.

Lasir put her hands on her hips, and smiled at a job well done. Then promptly passed out from the smell.