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Title: Don't mess with the Greens (silly/revenge story)
Posted By: Lanfir_Sedai
Posted On: 5/27/99 5:43:12 AM

This story is written to ashame Sathinar and Ishamael for what they did to Nymphia and I... They humiliated or hurted us in public and we decided to turn the tables. It took a while to write the story, but here it is. I hope you enjoy it.

Lanfir awoke with a groan and raised her right hand instinctively to slap the sunlight that had the nerve to awake her.

"Ah, my Aes Sedai is awake." A familiar voice said mockingly.

"Oh Darkseid, shut up."

She rolled over to her other side and ignored her warder sitting on his favorite spot by the window he just opened.

"My head hurts."

Slowly she opened her eyes, but closed them from the bright sunlight. It hurt.

Darkseid laughed brightly. "How surprising Lanny. You know you can't drink Ash and Dark Blight under the table. You never did before, so why now?"

Lanfir pulled herself up into a sitting position, still covering her eyes with one hand.

"It seemed a good idea somehow. And we had something to celebrate now that DB is back."

"You have always a reason to drink, Lanny."

"We all have our weaknesses."

Lanfir sighed. She removed her hands from her eyes and squeezed them shut at the same instant.

"Where did you sleep?"

"On the couch. Now could you please go and search for Therva to heal your headache? Your pain affects me too."

Just as Lanfir opened her mouth to react, Ash Gaidin burst into the room. "Rise and shine my sweeties! It's a wonderful new day!"

Lanfir threw her pillow at him.

"Why aren't you moaning and sleeping off your hangover, Ash?" She accused him.

"What hangover?" He smiled beamingly. Lanfir threw her other pillow at him as well before she chased her warders out of the room.

She dressed herself quickly and looked in the mirror. She looked like a mess. Her face was pale, her eyes red-rimmed and her hair... It just wasn't the same since that goat-kissing Sathinar had cut it off. She clenched her teeth and looked at the curls that only reached to her jaw now. A terrible length. She couldn't do anything with it. She sighed and braided it in lots of little braids like a Taraboner. Then she went to look for Nymphia Sedai. She did not have the guts to go to Therva; she was quite sure Therva would refuse. Therva was a sweet person, but lately Lanfir seemed to need her Healing every other day. Nymphia would surely understand - they had known each other for years now. They had been roommates as novices.

She wandered slowly through the hallways, trying to ignore her hangover, when she suddenly saw Silver Sedai sitting in a window.


The Blue Aes Sedai looked at her and smiled cheerfully. "Oh, hi Lanfir. Isn't it a wonderful day to fly?"

"Er, Silver, where is your warder?"

"Dalinarius? Oh, he's still at the Black Tower; he's sleeping. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, just wondering." Lanfir took her Sister's arm and pulled her gently out of the window. "Why don't you give it a try at another window? At the second, or the first floor? We're at the eighth floor now, you see and there is nobody here to help you. Maybe then someone will help you flying on the first floor."

"Oh, all right."

Silver smiled cheerfully and walked away in opposite direction. "Thank you, Sister!"

"Anytime!" Lanfir waved and continued her search. When she turned around a corner, she bumped into Ranges and Ladon Gaidin. "Hi boys!" she grinned. "Hi Lanny!" They said in unison. Lanfir noticed the teapot in Ranges' hand. "Is that mint tea?"

Ranges nodded. "Morgan's wake-up-cup. She will be annoyed all day if we don't get her some now."

"Well, the two of you better hurry then. I have to work with her this afternoon."

Ladon grinned. "With all respect, it's already afternoon."

"Gekkie." Ranges added.

"Sukkeltje." Lanfir told him and went on.

Before she had reached the next corner, she got pushed away by a running and panting Jon'atha.

"What's wrong, Jon?" Lanfir called after him.

"No time!" he yelled back and looked over his shoulder with a wild, hunted look in his eyes.

The next moment she was passed by Alanna and Ciara, also running. Jon'atha shrieked and fled.

"But Jonnie, we just want to give you a makeover!" Ciara called after him. She and Alanna exchanged a look and giggled. Then they continued their hunt.

"Poor Jonnie," Lanfir muttered. She sighed and pressed her hand to her forehead. The pain had not dimmed at all. Maybe a cup of mint tea would help. On her way to the kitchen, she passed the Green Mailbox and looked into it. She grabbed some envelopes and putted the bonding requests for Alanna back in the box.

"When was this thing emptied for the last time?" she asked a NPC novice.

"Only yesterday, Lanfir Sedai." The novice told her. "You had a lot of mail obviously."

"You could say that." Lanfir muttered. She sought the envelopes addressed to her out and read them while walking. "A request for bondage..." She shook her head. "Maybe later. A request to be Green Ajah member... Hey... And another one." Lanfir sighed. It was rather hard to be Head of the coolest Ajah.

She continued checking her mail. The bill of her mint tea account. "Oh, Light!" she gasped. Her ongoing account at the Spring of Morning seemed to get higher every week.

An anonymous letter. "Hey, Lanny. Like your new haircut!" Anger welled up in her. "Sathinar... You'll pay for this."

"Hi Lanny," a familiar voice behind her said. She turned around and recognized Nymphia Sedai. "Hi Nym," she smiled. " I was just looking for you."

Nymphia sighed impatiently. "Let me guess. You want to be Healed." Nymphia grinned as Lanfir blushed. They walked arm in arm to Nymphia's room to drink some tea and to be Healed. Lanfir gave her friend some tips and comfort; her friend had lost her warder shortly after the Breaking.

"Seems we have some annoying enemies, Lanny." Nymphia mused. "Ishamael killed my warder and Sathinar killed your haircut."

Lanfir pouted, touching the tiny braids without thinking. "I want revenge."

"I can imagine that. Let's make a plan."

Nymphia bowed her head to Lanfir and they started to whisper, until Lanfir thought of tearing up a shield against listeners.

They talked and planned a while, until Nymphia finally said, "Ok, here's the plan. Don't you think Shayol Guhl needs a bit of redecorating? Maybe mint green would be a nice color. Or maybe only Ishamael's rooms. It will tell him not to mess with the Greens." She started to laugh. "I really think Ishy would like us to do that." Her laughter became an evil grin. "I think Ranges would help us and your warders of course."

Lanfir thought it over and started grinning also. "Yes Nym, that would be a great idea, BUT that is only the beginning."

Nymphia poured two cups of tea. "A good idea indeed." She sipped her tea. "How's the headache?" She grinned while Lanfir looked at her a little angry. Then Lanfir started laughing too. "Now, what about Sathinar?"

Nymphia started thinking about it, which was very hard since she was already thinking about where to buy the paint for Shayol Ghul and who to ask for help.

After two hours of drinking tea and laughing about silly ideas, Lanfir left Nymphia's room. They still hadn't thought of anything to make Sathinar suffer.

"Ok, Nym, I'll talk to you in the morning."

Nymphia grinned. "Are you sure?"

"Haha, very funny!" She laughed as she walked away.

Just as Nymphia turned back in her room, she saw Jon'atha running from two Aes Sedai screaming, "I don't want a makeover!!" The two Aes Sedai just laughed. Nymphia recognized them as Alanna and Ciara. She smiled and shook her head.

She was finally alone. She thought about Vegeta and grimaced. That bloody Forsaken! He'll pay for what he did, she thought angrily.

But first, food. Maybe some grapes would be nice. And a cup of cinnamon tea; she was really getting tired of mint tea. Nymphia left the room again and headed for the kitchen, thinking about mint green paint and makeovers.

When she got in the kitchen, she saw a few novices making chocolate pudding and smiled. Oh, Kathana. She told a novice to bring some cinnamon tea up to her room and fixed herself a peanut butter sandwich.

"No grapes today?"

A novice answered. "No, we're out of grapes. The last supplies were sent to the Red Ajah quarters, Nymphia Sedai."

"Well, doesn't matter. I'll eat a banana instead." Nymphia put the sandwich and the banana in a pocket hidden in her dress.

She left the kitchen and walked towards Lanfir's room. Standing in front of the door, she heard Lanfir yell. "No, stop it! I can't take it any longer! How am I supposed to work when you..." Then there was laughter, giggling and screaming. She knocked at the door, but there was no answer. She opened the door slowly and saw Lanfir lying on the floor with Dark Blight sitting on top of her. He was tickling her. Her head was all red and tears of laughter rolled over her cheeks.

Nymphia coughed. "Excuse me. Lanfir?" Lanfir looked up.

"Oh, it's you, come in." She pushed DB aside and got up, adjusting her dress.

Nymphia grinned. "Having fun?"

Lanfir blushed. "Yes, thank you. What is it dear?"

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could have a party tonight. I'm certainly in the mood for some distraction."

Lanfir started smiling at the word 'party'. "Of course, great idea! But who to invite?"

"We could always invite Sathinar, get him drunk and let Alanna and Ciara have their way with him. They will give him a makeover. We could help them." She grinned at the idea. " I think a perm would look great on him. We could shave or wax his legs. His pubic hair must be waxed also. And his eyebrows... I always thought he would look a lot better that way, don't you?" She looked at Lanny expectantly.

"Maybe... That looks like a good idea. Have to think about it a little though." Lanfir's eyes shone with enthusiasm. She surpressed a giggle. "What about pink hair? It looked so cute on Darksmoon."

"That's alright." Nymphia could see how Lanfir's brain almost worked overtime when suddenly Lanfir asked, "What's that smell?" She walked around the room sniffing. "It smells like peanut butter and banana!"

"Oh, that's me!" Nymphia took her sandwich and a somewhat squashed banana out of her dress. "This was supposed to be my dinner. Ah well, I'll change my clothes and get new food while you think about it, ok?"

"Ok, I'll come to your room when I've made up my mind."

"Ok, see you!" Nymphia left the room, leaving Lanfir alone with DB again. When she rounded a corner, she heard Lanfir screaming and laughing again.


It was never hard to find Sathinar. Just look for pigeons. With this in mind, Nymphia walked around the Tower. Lanfir had send Morgan off to Shayol Ghul so she could take Ishamael away from there and they could go there and do their work. Maybe she would take Ishamael to the Spring of Morning Inn, drink a few glasses. Nymphia hoped that he wouldn't notice that it was a trap. He had to leave Shayol Ghul for the whole afternoon. Tough, but Morgan could handle it, she hoped.

Nymphia's thoughts led back to Sathinar and to pigeons as she bumped into someone.

"Oh, Zildamai, excuse me, I didn't see you coming."

Zildamai smiled. "You were thinking about something, dear? Maybe a new warder?"

Nymphia tensed, then relaxed, remembering that she wasn't talking to Ishamael. She smiled.

"No, not a new warder, although I could use one right now. Vegeta always reminded me of things I forgot. Sometimes, I think I could be a Brown sister. Just the other day, I forgot my peanutbutter sandwich and my banana were hidden in my dress. The banana came out squashed!"

Zildamai grinned. "You haven't been yourself lately. Not since Ishamael killed..." She stopped in mid-sentence. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know this was still such a painful subject.

"Don't bother," Nymphia grimaced. "I'll get my revenge. Talking of this, have you seen Sathinar?"

Zildamai looked startled. "Sathy? What does he have to do with revenge?"

"Oh, nevermind. I'll talk to you later, okay? Oh, by the way, Lanny is throwing a party soon." Nymphia said as she walked away. As soon as she rounded the corner, she started running after Saths.

"Saths! Sathy! Sathinar!!!"

He stopped running and looked over his shoulder. "Ah, our nymphomaniac Green Sister! What a pleasure to see you here," he grinned.

"The name is Nymphia, Sathy, and if you can't say that, just don't talk to me at all, okay?"

His smile faded but came back in the same speed. "Not in a good mood today, Nymmie?"

Nymphia sighed. "No, not really and you aren't making it any better. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about a party. You are invited to one. Tomorrow night in the Green quarters. Make sure you're there; You don't want to miss it. We have pigeons just for you."

Sathinar's eyes got brighter at the word 'pigeons' and he said, "I'll be there." Then he started chasing some animal.

Nymphia turned and went to Lanfir's room, knocked, and went inside. Morgan was there too. Nymphia looked surprised. "Aren't you supposed to have a pleasant afternoon with Ishy, our great friend?"

Both Morgan and Lanfir sniffed.

"He went away for the weekend; he needed the rest or something like that." Morgan said, while sipping from a cup of mint tea. Lanfir poured another cup for Nymphia and said, "Great, this is going better than I expected! Now he can't catch us doing the redecorating. The surprise will be bigger this way. How did it go with that bloody Sathinar?" She fingered her short curls.

"He's coming tomorrow night. I told him we would have pigeons here especially for him." Nymphia grinned. "Oh, and I invited Zildamai too, that's okay right?"

Lanfir said with an evil grin on her face, "Yes. I want as many people as possible to see Sathinar with a new look."

After a few cups of mint tea, both Morgan and Nymphia left the room to do some things for the party. Lanfir had her own things to do. She let a novice call Alanna and Ciara to her room.

Alanna and Ciara knocked on the door.


"Hi, Lanfir, how are you?"

"Fine Alanna, and how are you two?"

Ciara answered. "Fine, we almost caught Jon'atha."

"I've got something better for you to do." Lanfir told the two. "I think Sathinar wants a makeover. Tomorrow night, bring all you need. He will be here waiting for you."

Alanna and Ciara smiled. "He wants a makeover?"

"Yeah, I think he does. He made that clear to me."

"Okay, we will see you tomorrow night. Bye!" Alanna and Ciara left the room again.

Lanfir walked to her window. She looked outside and saw Sathinar chasing pigeons. You will pay Sathy, she thought and turned away from the window.

In the meanwhile, Morgan and Nymphia were preparing the party. They went to the kitchen and ordered lots of grapes and a bit of chocolate pudding. Morgan told a novice to tell every Aes Sedai about the party. Everyone was invited. They bought enough liquor to let everyone pass out and borrowed a few flimsy dresses from Francesca Sedai.

Lanfir had sent Dark Blight, Darkseid and Ash Gaidin for some mint green paint, enough to make Ishamael crazy. They stored all of it in their rooms. They also bought paintbrushes. Ishamael would be surprised when he got back home.

Back in Lanfir's room, they played a game of Twister while Lanfir was choosing what to wear.

"Maybe this green boa would look nice, don't you think?"

Morgan and Nymphia were trying on the dresses from Francesca.

"That green one is pretty."

"No, that light purple one. I want that one."

"Fine by me. How would this blue one look on Sathy?"

Nymphia poured two cups of tea. "I guess it would look great, Morgan." she smiled.

Morgan said, "I'm going to the practice yard later. Are you coming with me? I promised Ranges I would come to see his new trick."


Lanfir sat down and opened a bottle of brandy. She thought she deserved it after all the preparations for the party.

"Do you think it is smart to drink brandy, Lanny?" A mocking voice behind her said. Lanfir turned around to give her warder a hot reply, but Dark Blight was dangling Blackthorne/Rose on his knee and was obviously too busy to hear her.

Blackthorne giggled, "We all know what brandy does with you, Lanny." and cut her words off with a shriek when DB started to tickle her senseless.

Lanfir sighed, but did not say anything about it. She herself wasn't monogamous at all, so why should she demand that from her warders? She looked up when Morgan sat down next to her on the couch. Morgan wore a marvelous green flimsy dress and she held a teapot in her hand.

"Nice dress, Morgan. If you'd wear that one more often, you'd soon have more warders than I do."

Morgan chuckled. "Thanks. Wanna have a cup of tea, too? It's the special blend."

The last part was whispered... The Green Blend was a well-kept secret within the Tower. One was never sure whether the Greens drank normal tea or the Special Blend - and the Greens wanted to keep it that way.

"No. Thank you, Sister." Lanfir smiled, holding up the bottle of brandy. "Is everything ready for the party?"

"Yes, we just have to wait for the visitors. Nymphia told me she'd be here right away... She was talking to this warder-in-training in the Practice Yard, together with Zildamai. The boy certainly had a cute butt."

Lanfir chuckled. "And skills, I hope."

"What skills?" Morgan winked and they both laughed... though the sound of it got overwhelmed by Blackthorne's shrieks, who was being tickled now by three men: DB, Darksmoon and Ash.

As time went by, the Green Quarters filled with Aes Sedai, warders and Asha'man, and as more time went by, they all drank. And they all became something between tipsy and terribly drunk. Lanfir was just having a great time on Darkseid's lap with her brandy when Alanna pulled her at her sleeves. Her sister pouted heavily and told her, "Sathinar is not here yet. Did he change his mind?"

"I'm sure he didn't." Lanfir assured her, trying to figure out how empty her bottle was. She got interrupted by the door, which slammed open and showed the silhouette of a man, who shouted for pigeons.

"See? There he is!" Lanfir laughed and gestured Nymphia (who also seemed to have a great time, staring the warder-in-training in the eyes) nearby.

"We are going to give him some pigeons, stuffed with forkroot. Ranges took care of that, he seemed to have a supply of it." Lanfir did not even notice Morgan's sudden paleness. "Anyway, us Aes Sedai lose the ability to channel for a while, but Sathinar will just lose consciousness for a little period. That is when you, Alanna and Ciara, are going to give him the makeover. I don't think we should have him rational during the session."

Luckily, neither Alanna nor Ciara asked her further questions about Sathy's willingness. Lanfir had never been this close to lying before.

Lanfir gave Sathinar his first roasted pigeon herself. He eyed her suspiciously, but she just gave him her sweetest smile. "Don't worry Sathy. I won't kill you."

"No hard feelings at all?" he asked, surprised. Lanfir fingered one of her tiny braids. "Oh well, kinda like these braids. It's a change, but I quite like it."

It was somewhere during the second pigeon when Sathy collapsed, just as he muttered something about rather eating them raw. Lanfir watched him fall on the floor, chugged the bottom of her brandy bottle and giggled.

"Err, girls? I think it's time. If you need a hand, just ask me." And she fell about giggling, and then she passed out herself.


Nymphia awoke with a groan. So, this is how it feels. Poor Lanny. Ah, my head. She could vaguely remember being at a party. She turned over to her other side and fell asleep again.

Three hours later she awoke again, not feeling much better. She now remembered more and she blushed at the remembrance. "What was his name again? Ah well, I'll find out eventually." She remembered he had a cute butt though.

Nymphia got out of bed and took a bath; she smelled like brandy, tea, whiskey and maybe six other liquors. When she got out of the tub, she felt much better. She got dressed and left her room. As she walked around the Green Quarters, she saw Sathinar with a perm and green hair, lying unconscious on the ground. He was wearing a dress and make-up. His stockings had runs in them. Nymphia grinned, she remembered the makeover now. Alanna and Ciara had done a fine job on Sathinar.

She walked on to Lanfir's room. There were several people lying on the floor, still asleep. She recognized Ranges with a stuffed animal in his arms. He muttered something about Morgan's wake-up-cup or something like that.

Lanfir's door stood open. Lanfir was lying on her bed; one shoe and her dress still on. Her warders were lying on the floor, snoring. Nymphia saw that there was no way she could get Lanfir to get up now, so she left to find Therva. Her headache was killing her and she felt ready to throw up any minute now.

Her head spun. She could not even begin to imagine she'd paint Ishy's rooms today... or even how she'd be conscious. The only thing she wanted was to sleep or puke.

"Lanfir?" she asked quietly.

To her surprise, her Sister woke up and gave her a glare that almost chased her out of the room. "Now what?"

"Er, I wonder if you could Heal me... my head hurts a little," Nymphia continued just as quietly. She wondered if dying at the spot would not kill the pain easier.

Lanfir watched Nymphia a bit hazily, then threw her head back and laughed.

"As if I could even start to embrace saidar today! I am suffering worse than you do, Nymmie."

"Oh," Nymphia said disappointed. "Shall we go and find ourselves a Yellow, then?"

The Head of the Green Ajah looked at the sleeping warders in her room. "That would be a good idea, I think." She sighed, rubbing her head. She moaned. "We have work to do..."

When they left Lanfir's bedroom and entered her study, they were disturbed by a scream so aweful that the hair in their necks stood rigid in the same instant. "What was that?" Lanfir asked, her face a paler shade of white.

"I don't know," Nymphia answered, "but it came from your bathroom..." They exchanged a look and ran over to Lanfir's bathroom. There they found Sathy, looking at his reflection in the mirror with a look of pure horror on his face. He spun around and glared at the Aes Sedai, his eyes blazing with fury.

"You!" He hissed at Lanfir, then turned to Nymphia. "You did this to me!" Sathinar could be really scaring when he wanted to, and he was certainly trying this time, but all that happened was that both Aes Sedai began to giggle. Sathy looked... cute!

"Love your haircut, Sathy." Lanfir giggled, leaning heavily on Nymphia, who had a hard time herself with standing erect. It was just so funny to see the arrogant Sathinar with cute little green curls in his hair, the make-up on his face and the ribbons on his pink dress. "Yes." Nymphia added, while she felt tears of laughter streaming down her cheeks. "You look SO cute this way, I think we should have to keep you like this."


Inverted weaves of Air made them all invisible when they silently entered Shayol Ghul. Morgan had made a Gateway to a corridor close to Ishy's room and was the first to step through. "Follow me," she whispered. "I know the way." And so they went.

Lanfir's head popped up around the corner. Morgan waved to her. That was the sign; everything was safe. Lanfir motioned Nymphia to follow her.

Nymphia caught up with Lanfir and whispered, "So, he really went away for the weekend? I'll go get the guys with the paint." Nymphia tiptoed back.

"What's taking them so long? Oh, Lanfir and Nymphia and their stupid ideas!" Dark Blight muttered to Ash. Ash only grinned. Dark Blight, Ash, Darkseid and Ranges had come with the three Aes Sedai to help them paint a room. At that moment Nymphia came tiptoeing around the corner.

"Come on guys!" she whispered, "We don't have all day!" She tiptoed back to Lanfir while Dark Blight, Ash, Ranges and Darkseid followed with the mint green paint.

All of them tiptoed to Morgan, who had just opened the door to Ishamael's room with one of her hairpins. As soon as the door closed behind them, they opened the cans of paint and each took a brush. They started painting and soon the whole room was mint green.

At that time, not only the walls and the ceiling of the room were green, but also Ranges hair and clothes and Nymphia and Lanfir both had green streaks on their faces and clothes. Morgan's dress was even greener than it normally was. DB, Ash and Darkseid were also green. They looked at each other and bursted into laughter, satisfied with their work. "I am sure Ishy will love his new room." Nymphia grinned.

Together they cleaned up the mess they had made in Ishamael's room and went to the Spring of Morning Inn to drink to the end of the revenge of Lanfir and Nymphia.

They were sitting there for only half an hour when they heard a scream of rage coming from Shayol Ghul.

"Ishy found his room." Lanfir and Nym said to each other and laughed in unison.

"It'll show him not to mess with the Greens." Lanfir said satisfied and poured herself another cup of mint tea.

~Lanfir and Nymphia~
Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah
and not to be messed with