Date: 09/1/99 06:16:36 PM
Name: Dallah Elhelan
Subject: OOC: Just for laughs...
OOC: All right, I've FINALLY done what Jhaenara had told me to do... ie. post this funny story which I've written here. At the time of writing, it was only for laughs on Jhae's message board... so, I didn't aim to insult anyone! (though I'm sure the Dark One will strike me down and the Creator smote me for this! lol)
IC (but not really): Dallah embraced saidar and Travelled. Even though she had thoroughly enjoyed her farm penance, doing back-breaking work under a whip-lashing Aes Sedai and ruining her skin in the sun, duty called her now. The fate of the world was at stake and all a Novice could do was to make a small sacrifice for it.
Stepping through the gateway, she entered Jhaenara's room, situated in the depths of the White Tower. Jhaenara was sitting on the bed with an air of anticipation.
"Have you got it?" Dallah asked, closing the gateway behind her.
"Yes", Jhaenara confirmed, indicating a pouch on her back.
Together, they drew a deep breath.
"Are you sure we should continue?" Dallah asked.
"Yes, if anyone can impede Tarmon Gaidon and break the cycle of these puerile prophecies, we can, with the aid of this," she replied. "We are resolved."
Dallah nodded and weaved another gateway.
They stepped out together onto the dark, forbidding slopes of Shuyol Ghul. They held tightly onto calmness, onto a perfect serenity that would make any Aes Sedai green with envy.
"What mortal dare come into my presence?" came a loud, booming and evil voice, shaking the mountain.
The two Novices were not impressed. Jhaenara drew out the object from her pouch and cried out, "It is we, Dark One, Jhanenara and Dallah, two Novices of the White Tower. And we bring against you this - The Teddy Bear That Is Not A Teddy Bear!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" The Dark One's scream was deafening. "Anything but that!"
"Why anything but that?" Dallah asked, her curious nature getting the better of her.
"Because," now his voice was broken with weepy whimpering, "it'll make me all warm and fuzzy inside. And then I would be forced to cancel the little fight that I and the Creator promised we would have since the beginning of Time! And I want a battle!"
He sounded petulant towards the end.
Dallah glanced at her fellow Novice with a raised eyebrow, then turned back to the Dark One, asking with infinite patience, "How did this disagreement come about?"
"Because," the Dark One replied, "the Creator wanted 12 spokes on the Wheel of Time and I wanted 13. 13 is a better number."
"Well, wed better ask the Creator to see if his side of the story collaborates with yours," Dallah announced.
"Call him then."
By this time, Jhaenara was getting irritated with the Dark One's spoiled boy's attitude. She stamped on the mountain, calling, "Well, Creator, come out then. We know you're listening to this!"
And with a boom of trumpets and victorious fanfare and heaps of bright lights and splitting of clouds, the Creator appeared in all his glory and splendour.
"So, has Tarmon Gaidon started yet?" he asked excitedly.
Jhaenara sniffed, "Men! Always thinking with their muscles and not their brains."
The Creator was startled at this - he wasn't used to a woman sniffing at him or at mortals not being awed by his presence. But women were no mere mortals.
"So what do you propose we do?" he asked in an injured tone.
"You and the Dark One should make up about your past disagreement," Dallah answered severely, "And play your games in another realm so the world will not be disrupted again."
"But - but - " he started to protest, but stifled them with a gulp under the doubled icy, look-down-your-nose stares of the Novices. For the infiniteth time, he wondered why he created women when he didn't understand them one wit.
"Are they always like that?" he complained to the Dark One.
"You have no idea, Creator. The best thing to do when confronted with women bent on having their own way is to give way to their wishes. And with the best possible grace," he replied resignedly.
"All right, we can compromise. I'll keep the 12 spokes on the Wheel of Time, but I can make that up to you by decreeing that Robert Jordan cannot write more than 13 books in the series, ok?" asked the Creator.
"Deal!" cried the Dark One joyfully.
Then the Creator released the Dark One from his prison and they went to another realm to play another game.
Dallah and Jhaenara were left standing in the first sunlight that touched the slopes of Shuyol Ghul.
"Well, that certainly confirms a fact of life," Dallah said, "Men are the same everywhere - even the Creator and Dark One."
"Yes" Jhaenara agreed. "They all need a woman's guiding hand. We are the practical ones."
Satisfied, they nodded to themselves and turned to return to the world where men thought they controlled events but women actually had the real power.
a novice who knows too much that's good for her.
OOC: any comments?