Title: A Tale of Two Puddings!
Posted By: Alanna_Mosvani
Posted On: 7/23/99 5:30:25 AM
In answer to the Aiel request. Please disregard the fact that I'm supposed to be on my way back to the Tower)
It was night. The dead of night. Pitch black? Not exactly, more like greyish, brownish....
Hey, what's the big deal anyway?
Anyhow, it was the dead of night, and all through the Tower,
nothing was stirring, not even a flower.
A FLOWER? What do you think you are, Alfreda Tennyson? Dr Seuss could write better... I wanted it to rhyme; stop interupting!
As I was saying, it was the dead of night and nothing was stirring.
Alanna crept along the corridor, caught her skirt on a nail and quite tore the shirring.
No smart remarks this time!
Cursing everything known to the Light,
she turned into a corridor, quite out of sight.
What was she doing, creeping about so late at night?
Wait awhile and everything should come out quite right.
But wait, what was that sound?
A dark shape comes by, in white garbed around.
A ghoul? A ghost? In darkness, dark things do abound.
Feeling quite like a ship with no ballast,
stomach clenching, our heroine holds in her breath.
The shape comes closer, the white shape of death?
No....'tis a Novice, one Lasir Ca'Ras!
Having bad dreams and walking in sleep,
when she should be in bed, not uttering one squeak!
With a sigh of relief, Alanna tiptoes by,
not wanting to be caught, out here in the sly.
A few corridors lower, down one flight of stairs....
Then merciful Heavens! She spots figures, two pairs !
The curtains nearby are a good place to hide,
even though in them dustmites abide.
No wonder, this section belongs to the Browns.
If they read this, you'd get more than frowns!
Here they come, laughing, quick-stepping by,
with sashaying hips and skirts clutched up high.
Why...'tis Lanfir, that irrepressable Green,
with one of her newer admirers I wean!
And the other...Oh Creator, oh Mother, oh my !
It's...it's Callandor and Daelin Sedai!
In what rage would Novam be,
if this pretty scene she could now see!
And what of the Amyrlin, if she could spy,
what the Red Ajah in secret does try !
And now that you've writ this, in hot oil they'll you fry.....
(To Be Continued
Title: More prose and verse.
Posted By: Alanna_Mosvani
Posted On: 7/23/99 6:02:57 AM
This merry tale continues right here, my friends! If friends you have any, after this ends.
The lovers disappear and out Alanna falls,
coughing quite badly and reeking of mothballs.
A little further, go down; that's the way!
The aim is the storeroom, she must not delay !
But wait, what is this?
Another person, sleep-lost in bliss.
She goes nearer, trying to see,
who in the Light could this fellow be?
Alas it's no guard's lazy stand-in...
This is Joe, the Amyrlin's gaidin!
At his belt there's a gleam,
picked out by a moonbeam.
It's the key to the door,
to enter, this she must have before.
So quietly, she gets down on hands and knees,
and prays that he doesn't wake up, not yet at any rate, please!
It just wouldn't to do to let others see,
to what lengths and Aes Sedai can driven be.
She gets closer, but then he starts and stirs!
Stretches, moans, mumbles and shivers.
Wait, the fool man's actually smiling in sleep?
Whatever he's dream-doing, it's not counting sheep!
"OK girls," he mumbles, "Let's start our routine.
I'm going to make you the team that will win!
Ready, steady, GO GO GO GO!
Start bouncing and flouncing, just go with the flow.
Pick up your pom-poms,
and just shake those bon-bons....
Kathana, that's two strikes, one more and you're out!
Why? I'm Mistress of the Novices, and I've got some clout!
So come on once more and this time just shout,
'Three shakes left and three shakes right,
one kick out and one kick in!
Who's the best?
Why Joe Gaidin!'"
"Some bloody-buttered onion dream;
Fool man has brains of hot air and steam."
So saying, she got up and snatched off the key,
while Joe continued his dream-fantasy.
The key fit straight into the lock,
and turned with no trouble, though she had a bit of a shock,
when Joe tried to make a tackle and block.
He never quite woke up from his dream of football,
for he missed and crashed hard into the opposite wall.
That was it, she was in, she played to win!
And there on the shelf was the marvellous prize,
an image of the Spoon, cut right down to size!
The mystic ter'angreal was in her hands at last,
and she meant to use it now and quite fast!
She took it down and turned it round.
There on the handle were these mystic words,
'Whosoever likes puddings, jellies and curds,
you're in luck, you cheeky little turds!
I make your puddings unlike any other,
with a minimum of fuss, sweat or bother!'
At last, the secret to Amyrlinish pudding!
Now she could make it in secret with cunning.
And out one barrel after another would go,
out to the Waste where no track would show.
Title: The Song of the Cook.
Posted By: Alanna_Mosvani
Posted On: 7/23/99 6:20:41 AM
She runs to the kitchens; she's in high glee.
Nothing could go wrong now; what a sweet sight to see!
Down comes the biggest, blackest stew-pot.
She stokes up the fire, making it quite hot.
Ingredients are ready; there's the recipe book.
Now all that's needed is the hand of the cook!
One bag of sugar, two bags or three.
With milk and eggs, she makes quite free.
Cocoa powder, add with a generous hand;
The supply must keep up with demand!
She stirs the mix with the Mystic Spoon,
which can only be used when there's a full moon.
Lucky for her, it's a full moon tonight,
and now out comes the secret Kathana's kept out of sight.
From this day forth, pudding there will be in abundance.
So rise up, you people of France!
Hey, that was a line from A Tale of Two Cities!
This is DM, you Queen of the Ninnies!
And it was bread that they wanted, not chocolate pudding!
Oh shut up, can't you see I'm singing?!
With the aid of saidar, the pudding soon sets.
The edges crinkle; this little flaw she lets.
There's more than enough for the first Aiel taste.
She shouldn't let the rest just go to waste.
She should give,
but who to receive?
Why, the Amyrlin, of course!
After all, Alanna can't be so coarse,
and after all, Kathana is boss!
She fills just two barrels;
the string she unravels,
ready to bind down the wooden cask-lids.
Then...she stops. That noise...
Posted By: Alanna_Mosvani
Posted On: 7/23/99 6:55:01 AM
Out goes the fire, oh hurry, oh haste!
And cover the pot, just in case.
She darts into cover, not a moment too soon,
clutching in hand the valuable Spoon.
For opens the door...Hark, footsteps I hear!
Some light-footed person, come perilously near.
Alanna squeezes and pushes herself,
into the crack between wall and shelf.
Ooof! A tight fit for an expanding rear.
A diet's in order, that much I fear.
Where is good luck when she needs it the most?
If she is caught, she might as well roast!
It's Alosha herself, stalking about.
A rod in her hand, ready for use, I've no doubt.
She's nervous, she shakes,
In hiding she waits.
She hears the Mistress of Novices snort.
"I won't stand mischief, not of any sort!
I heard some scuffling; some girls are about.
If I find them, won't I make them shout!
Novice, Accepted or Aes Sedai,
I'll make them regret it, by and by!"
Just what Alanna does not need to hear,
just the wrong words to strike her ear.
Yet, wait, what is that?
Some cat or small rat?
No, it may well be salvation!
The still door is now silently in motion.
In slips one white shape, now two and then three;
Alosha's too busy muttering to see.
Now Alosha's neared the fireplace,
where the barrels are set in their space.
Oh no, she bends over, to take a look....
The fragance is too strong to just overlook!
Just as she bends over to inspect one barrel,
a gust of air snuffs out her candle.
As darkness descends out bursts bloodcurling yells,
reminiscent of demons from several hells!
"This is for the penance you set, when in Francesca's class I slouched!"
"Oooo, owwww, stop that you minx... OUCH!"
"And this is for demotion you set on me!"
"You deserved that.... Let go, AIYEE!!"
"I broke one cup. One week washing more cups was unfair!"
"It's less than you deserved. Let go of my hair!"
In the darkness, Alanna could not see but could hear.
There was scuffling and and shouting but this much was clear:
A few Novices were taking revenge.
Then there was a shriek and a funny little 'plop!'
And one of the girls breathlessly said, "Stop!"
There was more murmuring and some other sounds,
but she could not fathom what words made the rounds.
Then the sound of a door opening,
light feet running,
like the patter of rain.
Then silence again.
Too much! This night was too wild!
She had never seen the like since she was a child.
Alanna was not waiting to see,
what of Alosha had come to be.
With a pause to check that the barrels were covered,
then left, for it was late, and she was quite knackered.