Red Dawg Interview 1-16-2000
Interviewer: Hello I am here once again, conducting yet another interview for the BCBW. This time I am here with 4 time BCBW Backyard and 2 time BCBW Hard Knocks Champion, Red Dawg. It's good to have you here Red Dawg.
Red Dawg: Yeah I know.
Interviewer: Ok. Let's get the interview started.
Red Dawg: Whatever.
Interviewer: Ok Red Dawg. Your a 4 time BCBW Backyard Champ and the CURRENT BCBW Backyard Champ. What do you credit your success to?
Red Dawg: Simple, greatness. It's just that simple. My athletic ability is unprecendented here in the BCBW. I can take more punishment than anyone else, and I sure as hell can give more than anyone else. As I said in an earlier interview.... I am the lifeblood of this organization.
Interviewer: I recall you once saying that if it wasn't for you, the BCBW would be six feet under. Do you actually believe that?
Red Dawg: Of course I do. Or else I wouldn't have said it. If it wasn't for me, who in the BCBW could draw anything? NOBODY!!! The fans don't care what Rich Stevens is doing, they don't care if Spiral is on the show, and the sure as hell don't care about Hard Rock Higdon. The only thing on the mind of the BCBW fans is Red Dawg. You take me away, and the BCBW empire crumbles.
Interviewer: Ok this question is pretty basic, but extremely necessary. Red Dawg, who is your toughest opponent of all time?
Red Dawg: Toughest? *trying to hold in laughter* You think I've had trouble with any of my opponents?
Interviewer: Stevens, Higdon, and Spiral have all given you some trouble.
Red Dawg: Your just about two seconds away from getting out of line. If I must pick one from this underacheiving bunch, I guess I'd say that Hard Rock Higdon would be my toughest opponent.
Interviewer: Well he has beaten you on multiple occasions.
Red Dawg: Yeah and only one time he did it on his own. The other couple of times were due to outside interference. Am I correct?
Interviewer: Yeah I guess you are.
Red Dawg: Exactly. Of course I am right. No one can beat Red Dawg one-on-one and at BCBW Valentine's Day Bash I will prove it once again as I tear through 3 other BCBW competitors, and then through a four man tournament to reclaim my spot as the MAN of the BCBW, by becoming a 5-TIME BCBW BACKYARD CHAMPION!!!
Interviewer: Ok now a little word association. I give you a name and you give your opinions on him.
Red Dawg: Sounds boring but go with it.
Interviewer: "Mr. Money" Rich Stevens?
Red Dawg: Who?
Interviewer: Exscuse me?
Red Dawg: Exactly. He is a nobody, a nothing. The only way he can win is by paying referees off. H You can bundle up his athletic ability and it won't even fill up a thimble. He is a has-been thet quite frankly never really was. Ya know what I mean?
Interviewer: Spiral?
Red Dawg: This guy is a total loser. I mean I actually saw him lose 5 matches in a single day. I saw Rich Stevens pin him.... how pathetic is that?!?! This man doesn't even deserve to call himself a wrestler. He is a complete disgrace to a fed as bad as the BCBW.
Interviewr: Hard Rock Higdon?
Red Dawg: What can I say about him that I haven't already said? I don't want to waste my breath on this pathetic, self-proclaimed sex symbol that is so utterly disgusting that he couldn't even get a prostitute to have sex with him. Hard Rock, you better concentrate more on your wrestling, and less on your grooming techniques, cause when you step in the ring with me.... YOUR GONNA GET DEALT WITH!!!!
Interviewer: Any closing statements?
Red Dawg: No.
