Finally the musical madness ended and Daniel shook himself out of the little trance the music had put him in. He grinned as he saw other people doing the same thing. Did they also have a peculiar feeling of vagueness as to what they had just watched?
Daniel noticed that Brian was motioning for him to follow them to backstage. The tall guitarist hesitantly showed the burly guard his pass, but the man just briefly scanned it before moving slightly out of the way.
Daniel managed to find the Placebo’s dressing room without too much trouble and he softly knocked on the door. After a moment, the door opened to reveal the band lounging on various sofas. Brian , who was toweling his hair, grinned when he noticed who had come in.
“Enjoy the show?” Daniel gave him a vague nod. One of Brian’s bandmates looked bored, the other was looking at Daniel oddly. Seeming to respond to an invisible signal, Placebo’s drummer and other guitarist suddenly got up and left the dressing room, leaving a startled Daniel all alone with the diminutive singer, who was somehow scaring him for all the fact that Daniel was much taller than Brian, not to mention less fragile-looking. He shouldn’t be scared at all.
But when Brian caught Daniel’s gaze, Daniel found himself remembering what had happened at the concert. How his blood had burned. How he had been frozen under Brian’s hypnotic eyes. How he had felt like he was losing his mind. Maybe he was.
Daniel quickly broke eye contact and turned away, pretending to be looking around the room.
“Nice spread you got here. Got anything to drink?” he asked as casually as he could. Brian’s soft lips quirked into a smile and he graciously offered Daniel a beer, which he downed all too fast. Soon Daniel could feel the alcohol warming him up.
I shouldn’t start drinking again, it always gets me into trouble he thought distractedly. But he was so nervous he needed a drink to calm his nerves. The way Brian kept grinning at him wasn’t helping.
Daniel realized he had backed himself against a leather couch and sat down abruptly. Brian made his way over and also sat down on the sofa, thankfully on the other end.
“You alright Dan?” Brian asked, looking at him with concern tinged with amusement.
“No, no I’m ok. I’m just feeling a little dazed from all the excitement and noise of the concert, that’s all.” Daniel said, wincing at how lame his excuse sounded.
“I don’t make you nervous, do I?” Brian persisted.
“No, of course not.”
“Then why won’t you look at me?” Brian waited for his answer but Daniel just sat staring at his hands, fighting feelings of confusion and a little despair.
What does he want to hear? That I can’t because I’m scared of what I’ll see? That every time I look into those blue eyes of his I feel like I’m falling? That when our eyes met during the concert I wanted him more than anything? Daniel felt so ashamed, he wanted to leave this room and its tormentor more than anything.
Daniel heard the leather creak as Brian moved closer to him. Even though his internal alarms were screaming at him, Daniel couldn’t seem to move a single muscle.
“Daniel, look at me.” Brian asked again and Daniel felt the feathery tickle of his breath on his cheek. Then he felt a gentle hand grasp his chin and turned his head so that he had no choice but to look at Brian.
“My sweet, golden-haired prince, it’s ok,” Brian whispered reassuringly, lightly running his fingers along Daniel’s jaw “I wouldn’t dare hurt you, even if I could.” Daniel’s skin tingled and burned wherever Brian touched it. The fire spread out, warming him to his toes, leaving him flushed. Daniel was almost painfully aware of how close Brian was, he was aware of the warmth emanating from him and the mingling scent of sweat and musk.
Hardly knowing what he was doing, Daniel leaned towards the singer and kissed those soft, pouting lips of his. Brian closed his eyes and deepened the kiss, moving his hand from Daniel’s chin to his chest. Daniel could barely think straight anymore, his whole body was focused on Brian and everything else wasn’t important any longer. Brian moved his lips to Daniel’s neck and Daniel bit back a moan, it felt so good. He distracted himself by caressing Brian’s lovely black hair, admiring how soft it was. Daniel had a thing for black hair, which was odd, considering that Michelle’s hair was blond.
Michelle. The thought brought Daniel back to earth momentarily. He had completely forgot that he had a girlfriend. But then Brian nibbled a tendon on his neck just so and Daniel felt his thoughts scattered again as lust regained it’s upper hand. He would worry about things later.
Brian’s hands wandered along Daniel’s chest, slowly pulling the zipper down on the black sweatshirt he was wearing, revealing Daniel’s bare chest underneath. Brian moved his head lower, brushing his lips along Daniel’s skin, each kiss a promise of things to come, while his hands reached the guitarist’s belt and began undoing it.
Daniel’s vision began blurring again and he closed his eyes, giving himself completely over to Brian. His last rational thought, as Brian pushed him down onto the couch, was ..So this is what it’s like to be seduced...
After the concert, everything changed. Daniel started hanging out with Brian and his bandmates, often staying out until the early hours of the morning, drinking and getting into trouble. Darren became aloof with him and things started falling apart with Michelle. Daniel knew he was headed for grief but he couldn’t seem to do anything to stem the tide of misfortune. It was almost like he was under a spell, it was so easy just to forget about anything but Brian and getting plastered. Daniel felt like his head was stuffed with cotton, it was so hard to think.
Then, one day, Daniel came home to an empty house. Everything of Michelle’s was gone. He wandered around, feeling numb, until he came across a letter from Michelle, saying she was going to stay at her mother’s. He tried to phone her and talk but her calm, unemotional voice saying that there was no hope for it just chilled him even further. His attempts to reconcile became fewer and fewer until he just gave up and stopped calling altogether. Daniel found himself pouring his heart out to a sympathetic and understanding Brian, spending almost all his free time with the singer now that he didn’t have to worry about Michelle...
...Darren looked at his watch again with irritation. It was almost 3 a.m. and Daniel still wasn’t back. They had an interview to do in the morning and Darren didn’t want Daniel to try and get out of it by claiming a hangover, like he did the last time. Darren would sober him up himself if he had to, so here he was, getting more and more angry at Daniel for his new habit of irresponsibility. Spending all his time with that tart Brian, bloody stupid git-
Daniel came stumbling through the door, almost going head-long into the carpet. Darren just watched him with an expression of disgust.
“Finally back, are we? Run out of beer?” the singer commented sarcastically. Daniel grimaced at him and fell heavily onto a nearby chair, rubbing his eyes
“Piss off. Leave me alone.” he muttered.
“No. We have an interview in 6 hours and damned if you are going to leave it all to me again! This will make it the third time, Daniel!” Darren all but snarled. Daniel regarded him blankly.
“I’m not that drunk. Just tired.” he replied shortly. Darren snorted.
“All worn out from fucking that slut of yours?” he asked scornfully “Brian must have a lot of energy.”
“Brian is NOT a slut!” Daniel exclaimed, getting to his feet. Darren gave him a contemptuous look.
“Oh really Dan, come on. I’m not blind. I can see how he simpers at you. I bet you eat it up. Must make you feel great.”
Darren watched Daniel ball his fists and wondered if he was going to actually use them on him. Darren felt a twinge of momentary fear.
“You’re just jealous,” Daniel said quietly, after a moment “I found someone who’s attracted to me, not you, and you can’t stand it.”
Now Darren felt like balling his fists and slugging Daniel.
Gods, he’s almost a different person, I barely know him anymore.
“No, Daniel I’m not jealous,” Darren replied sadly and still a little angrily “I’m just tired of putting up with your shit. You come back piss-drunk every night, you disappear for days without anybody knowing where the hell you are and when you reappear, there’s no explanation, no apology. And what about Michelle? She loved you so much and you abandoned her for that bastard! It broke her heart. You make me sick and until you stop acting like a mindless, heartless little shit, I don’t want to see your face again.”
Daniel stood staring at him for a long moment, a look of shock on his face. Then he whirled around and bolted for the door, slamming it behind him, leaving a sorrowful Darren regretting his burst of harsh words.