~I'll Stand By You~

I'll Stand By You


by Leela Ganey



Rating: PG13... no sex... no drugs.... bad language...

Warning: You made need box of tissues. This is very moving fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own Daniel... I don't own Darren.... Although I think it is a good thing that I don't. I do not own the song: "I'll stand by you" by the Pretenders. I am making no money so you can't sue me. Well, even if you did sue me... I only have a quarter in my pocket.

Thank you: I would like to thank Stephie-chan and Megs for being great friends. I would also like to thank Cassie for liking and wanting to show off my fic. I would again like to thank the voices in my head. And a big thank you to peppermint tea.



"Oh, why you look so sad,
The tears are in your eyes,
Come on and come to me now."

Daniel woke with a start. He could hear the someone playing the piano. Well, trying to play the piano. The only one who plays that badly is Darren. Daniel got out of bed and walked down crept down the stairs. Then moved down the hall. At the end of the hall was where the piano was.

Daniel stopped. He saw Darren sitting at the piano. He had on his day clothes. "Did he ever go to sleep?" Daniel thought to himself. It had been worrying Daniel. More and more Darren was staying up all night. He knew they all kept weird hours but still. Sleep was something the body needed. It worried him even more that Darren was become indecisive where their music was concerned. He could not decided on sounds he or if he like the way he was singing something.

Daniel watched Darren pound the keys of the piano. "Something was bugging him, but what? What had Darren upset?" Daniel knew Darren was happy in living in New York but he as said it was lonely. He knew no one who lived in New York. No one to talk to unless he called long distance. When they had got together to work on the album. Darren was really happy in the beginning. They did stuff. Played around watched TV. Worked on music. It was fun. But now Darren was acting like he carried the weight of some unknown trouble.

Daniel heard Darren stop playing the piano. The next thing he heard made his heart stop. Darren was crying well more so he was sobbing. Daniel just stood there. "What should he do? Leave him be or comfort him in what ever is bothering him?" He heard Darren heave out another quiet sob. Before Dan even knew what he was doing he was walking toward Darren.

Darren for the most part could not have cared if the world had existed. His world was so empty. He would have to go back to New York soon. That meant he would be a lone. A lone... By himself.... Lonely... That is when the tears came. He couldn't stop them nor had he wanted to. He closed his eyes. That was when he felt two strong arms wrap around him. Pulling him close. Darren did not open his eyes. Why do that he already knew who it was.


"And don't be ashamed to cry,
Let me see you through,
'Cause I've seen the dark side too."

Daniel just hugged Darren. It was all he could do. He was not always good with feelings. But he understood that a gentle touch could go a long way to soothe a tortured heart.

Darren let Daniel hug him. Maybe it was the strength in his arms. Maybe it was his warmth that his body radiated. Or was it the sweet scent that could only be classified as Daniel. Whatever it was. It calmed him. His heart beat slowed and his body relaxed. He felt Daniel's hug loosen.

Daniel sat down beside him on the piano bench. He raised a hand to Darren's face. He touched the hot tears on his face. He looked to his eyes. "What made him cry?" Very gently he wiped all the tears from Darren's face. Then he brushed the hair off of his fore head back.

Darren just watched Daniel. He could not believe Daniel would be this tender or gentle. They had been friends forever now but they never covered anything that was deep they never cried on each other shoulder or talked of anything too personal. They were men it just was not allowed. But this was different.

When Daniel was satisfied that Darren's tears were gone. So much pain in his eyes. He gently touched Darren's cheek. "What is the matter Darren?"

Darren looked down. Could he tell Daniel? Could he say that he was lonely and that no one wanted him? Would Daniel laugh at him and say that it was all in his mind? "You wouldn't understand."

"You really think that Darren?" Daniel pulled his hand away from Darren's face. He reach for Darren's hand. He lightly caressed it. "I can't understand anything when you keep it inside. I am you friend and I refuse to let you fall in to the 7th level of hell by yourself. Just talk to me."

"You just wouldn't understand." Darren snatched his hand back. He knew the instant he did that he was wrong. The single tear that now made its way down Daniel's cheek was more than enough proof of that.

"When the night falls on you,
You don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less."

"I'm sorry. Daniel. I just... It is... Well.... Damn. I can't say what it is."

"Darren, Why is it you feel like you have to act like some damn rock. You are not all alone. Besides have I ever given you a reason to think that whatever you have to say will make me think that you are not worth being with friends anymore?" Daniel said quietly.

Darren just stared at him. What could he say? He was right. Daniel was always there. Quietly observing the world in his own way. He was right. Why did he have to be right? What could I say that Daniel would not understand? "I am lonely." There he said it.

Daniel was not even sure if he heard Darren. He whispered. It sounded like I'm lonely. Lonely? Darren? Weird.... Darren never seemed lonely. He always talking to people. Always in the open. Daniel started to ask why he was lonely when Darren started sobbing again.

Darren couldn't help himself pain that had been too much. "I thought I would be happy if I could start over in New York City. I thought I could build new friendships meet new people. But I just can't seem to. I spend whole weeks alone. The only people I talk to sometimes are the ones over the phone. I go out time after time. Book stores. Coffee shops. On the street. No one cares. No one knows me." He stopped for a moment. "And No one loves me."

Daniel reached out for Darren. He pulled him close. Darren wrapped his arms around Daniel like he was a dream that would get away if he didn't hold on tight. He felt the tears slide down his face and on to Daniel chest. Daniel was so close. His heart beat so loud. He could lose himself forever like this.

"Darren, you are not alone. People care about you. People love you. You have family and friends." Daniel said soothingly. He ran his hands up and down Darren's back in a gesture that he could only hope Darren found comforting.

"Yes, I have family. They are required to love or it isn't a family. As for friends... Really I don't ever remember having that many good friends. No one loves because they want to." Darren cried more. And if It hadn't been for his head being on Daniel chest he would have head Daniel quietly say "I love you, Darren"


"I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
Won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you."

Darren froze... Did Daniel just say what he thought he said. Did Daniel love him? His Jonesy? Love him. "Daniel?"

"I think you heard me, Darren." Daniel couldn't help it. He did love Darren. He loved having him around. When he moved to New York and was no longer a few minutes away. He couldn't deal. It was like a part of him got up and walked across the ocean and never looked back. Darren pulled away. Daniel let him go.

Darren just looked at Daniel. He looked in to his eyes. They were very green. There was no look of harshness or any hint this was a joke. Just love and acceptance. Darren touched Daniel's face. It was warm. He could feel the warm salty tears that had made their way down his face.

"Darren. Why is it you think you are all alone? Why do you think no one could love you?" Daniel said.

Darren jumped. Daniel was right. He did think he was all alone at times. He had always wondered if people did love him. "I don't know Daniel. I always have thought I am not worth it. Not good enough." He looked down, his hand from Daniel's face dropped. He now just blankly stared at the piano.

"Darren." Daniel said. Darren still looked at the piano. "Darren look at me." No response. Daniel reached over and turned Darren's head so he had to look at him in the eye. "I want you to listen and understand me. You are worth love. You are never alone. I have always been there. Can you ever think of a time when you could never reach me? Or a time I would not talk to you?" Darren just blinked at him. His mouth was closed. Tears silently slide down his face. "Darren please... Don't push me away. I love you. I cannot leave you to fight whatever demons you have floating around in you mind by your self."

At that moment Daniel had no clue what to do. Tears started falling down his face. He could see Darren shutting down. And there was nothing he could do about it.

Before Darren had time to think and understand what he was doing. He pulled Daniel close and kissed him. He kissed him hard. And if that wasn't weird enough... Daniel responded. But not in the way He had thought he would.



oh and what way would that be?