Memories Fade

by Savage Vampire (liv_chick@hotmail.com)

Another damn celebration to go to. Some stupid awards thingy. Oh well, but it made the fans happy to see them in the spotlight again.

Daniel plastered a forced smile on his face as soon as the limo stopped in front of the large theatre. Other celebrities with their limos arrived at the same time too. As soon as he and Darren opened the door, paparazzi cameras were flashing non-stop at their faces, making him feel a little threatened.

Get me outta here... He definitely was in no smiling mood tonight.

"C'mon Jonesy, lighten up!" Darren hissed at him. A contrast to the guitarist, he was beaming and posing away like anything. Fans were screaming their names.

"I am lightening up, see?" he grumbled through gritted teeth.

The singer ignored him and carried on his persona.

The night dragged on. It was all the same; boring acceptance speeches one after the other, small talk here and there with other big hot-shot stars, and plenty of false smiles. Daniel endured it as long as he could.

The aftershow party was no better. The two chatted courteously enough to other people, but while Darren basked the limelight, Daniel detested every minute.

"Hey, what's that up your arm, Dan?"

Daniel whirled around to face Leonie, their trustworthy publicist, eyeing him curiously.

"Uh, excuse me?"

"That." She reached out and pulled up his sleeve to reveal a large gash.

Immediately he pulled his arm away from her. Heart pounding, he quickly looked around to see if anyone else noticed. Thankfully, no-one did in the room full of chattering people.

"Dan, what's the matter? What was that anyway?" Leonie's brow crinkled with confusion.

He backed slowly away from her. This was getting dangerous.

"I accidently cut myself," he managed to splutter. Huh, good one.

"Cut yourself? That's one whopper of a cut!"

He smiled weakly. "Yeah, silly me, eh?"

Just then Darren came bounding along, all smiles like a sunshine.

"Hey people!" he grinned broadly to the two, not noticing Daniel's solemn expression. "Great party, hey?"

Her receptive black eyes still on Daniel quizzically, she asked: "Daz, seen that cut on Dan's arm? My, it's the worst I've ever seen!"

A dark cloud flashed in Darren's eyes for a second as he glanced back to the blond man warily.

"Yeah, I've noticed."

"What on earth did you do to yourself, Danny boy?" She looked concerned.

Now what do you say?? Daniel bit his lip nervously. Only few people knew the truth and he didn't want anymore whispers going around. Last week, an interviewer also saw the cuts and asked outright about it, but he managed to get away with some excuse. He had to be careful though; the cuts were still quite fresh and noticeable.

"I--"

"Leonie, phone for you!" A booming voice interrupted. Someone was shouting over the all the noise and chatter.

"Darn, must be John..." She started to leave, but then turned around for a second.

"Take care Dan... you're such a klutz!" She smiled good-heartedly back at him, then left.

Only Darren and Daniel now stood staring at each other, admist the crowd around them.

"You better be more careful now," Darren said in a low voice. "Don't want this to spread around too much."

"Scared it might ruin our squeakly clean reputation, Daz?" It sounded like a sneer.

"No, of course not."

"Don't want fans to think we're not a really happy bunch now, don't you? That these were actually self-inflicted wounds, just like those Goth bands."

Darren glared at him. "What the hell's gotten into you tonight? I don't like the sound of that sarcastic tone of yours."

Daniel couldn't answer him...He didn't know really, why he was acting so bitter all of a sudden. But Darren was annoying him in some way.

He walked away, leaving a confused but worried Darren behind. I need to get out of here... He hated everyone all of a sudden, all of these superficial snobs around him. Without thinking, he walked right out of the building and into the balmy, starry night.

The stars are so beautiful out here, he smiled faintly to himself as the universe opened up to him. He walked around the parking lot. So peaceful.

Yes, that was what he needed. Some peace, some contentment in his life at least. That was why he was so cold towards Darren before and generally to everyone else; something was missing in his life. There was a void that needed to be filled.

He caught himself. Stupid little voice inside his head. Michelle was gone, gone forever. There was nothing more he could do about it.

But still... her name would always struck a chord within him. A very deep and painful one at that. Because he had nearly ended his own life over her.

He sighed. Will his despair ever end?

"So there you are!"

He could've jumped ten feet in the air.

"Darren! I hate it when you do that! Geez, you could've given me a stroke!"

Darren smiled, but didn't say anything. They stood looking up at the brilliant stars overhead for a long time.

Daniel closed his eyes and breathed in the earthy air. Ah, even the atmosphere smelt beautiful. He suddenly felt a tug on his sleeve.

"Dan, come with me," Darren whispered. The shadows played on his round face.

"Where?"

He simply gave him a knowing look and pulled him out further into the darkness of the night. Daniel let himself being guided by him, slightly confused at his sudden mysterious behaviour. Where was he taking him, anyway?

Walking away from the glitzy lights of the theatre, Darren led him towards the park, just across the street from where the party was taking place. The park was silent and deserted as it was very late and no-one in their right mind would be walking out alone.

"Uh Daz, why exactly have you taken me here?" Daniel asked slowly.

Darren placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "To take your mind away from it all. I know you're still hurting Dan, but I also know better than to force you to spit it out. So I'm going to sing to you to help you forget about everything."

His heart warmed to this. He smiled, really smiled, for the first time in what seemed like eons.

"Dazza," he grinned, playfully punching his arm. "Okay then, sing." He knew he would immediately be cheered up by the haunting sound of his partner's wonderous voice. It was special thing between them; whenever he felt particularly down, he'd often lie on his lap and listen to him sing. Singing just for him and him only. His voice had the amazing effect of taking away the blues and calming his mind. Daniel always cherished those precious moments with him. Of course, a lot of his friends seemed particularly uneasy towards the notion of him lying on another man's lap... he laughed privately to himself at the thought of it. Men don't usually lie on other men's laps, even to their best friends. Whatever will they think of next??

Darren cleared his throat to warm up as Daniel leaned against the tree, gazing up once more at the glossy black night with the cosmos in all their glory.

Intimate.

That was the only word that flashed through his mind.

Intimate.

Darren was standing quite close to him now as he finished the song. His dark eyes seemed to search his face for something.

He started to feel a little uncomfortable. "Uh, that's one of our first songs togther!" was all he could say.

"I know." The singer moved even nearer, his face now only inches apart from his. "Do you like the lyrics?"

"Yeah... of course... you always write well, Daz."

"But what do you really think of that song?"

"It's great, just great. Darren, what are you getting at?" Uncertainty in his voice.

"Is that all? That it's just a 'great song'?"

He was starting to feel nervous. And it didn't help that he couldn't see his expression through the dark.

Then something happened that would change their relationship forever. Darren leaned over and pressed his warm lips against his.

"Dar--"

But he was falling, yes succumbing to the dark-haired man's deep, passionate kiss. It was a kiss unlike any other; it was like kissing a mirror image. His own image.

His brain was sending out signals to stop, to break away now, but something in him urged him to go on. That there was no wrong in this act at all. Their union was natural.

For what seemed like eternity, Darren finally broke away. His face was flushed but radiant.

"Don't you understand now? That song was written about you."

It was like the splintering crash of glass dropped to the floor. The words slowly penetrated through his numb mind.

"Me?!" It sounded like a gasp.

"Haven't you realised, Dan, for all this time? Those past girls you had, they were nothing. But I've loved you for so long..."

"And hidden it so well." he quietly added. Never, never once had he ever had a fleeting suspicion that his musical partner was... was in love with him. Sure, Darren sometimes acted a bit queer at times around him during their shows and interviews, but that was just Darren for you. And what about his wife...

"I'm sorry." He looked stricken all of a sudden. "I didn't mean to shock you that much."

Daniel realised he'd been staring at him with a gaping expression. He shook his head, trying to clear his jumbled thoughts. Conflicting emotions were playing around his insides.

"I never thought... it's... oh god, this is too much for me to handle in one night."

But that kiss... so unforgettable. He had responded back to it. He had let himself being drawn into him. Why? Something was going on and he was scared.

And Darren looked equally as frightened as he was. Distressed crossed his perfect face.

"I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry," he stuttered. "It's just I couldn't help myself, Dan, and I can't hide it anymore. Don't you see, when you were crushed by Michelle, it felt like a part of me was wounded too. I hated to see you so hurt and sad."

Daniel could only stare back at him. He really cares...

"I wanted you to hold you in my arms and tell you that I was the only one who will ever truly love you, but, god, that would have sounded so stupid, wouldn't it? You'd never speak to me again!"

But before he could say anything, Darren whirled around and ran back up the street towards the theatre. Even as he saw his figure disappear into the lobby of the building, Daniel was still numb from what had just happened.

A verse from the song unexpectedly made his way into his vulnerable mind:

"So memories fade, hey Darren?"

His lips curved upwards into a secret smile as he made his slow walk back. He was going to find Darren. And he was going to have a few words with him.

THE END