GOT MIDTERMS? As students prepare for that onslaught UK calls 'midterm', here are some helpful tips on procrastination for all of you out there who have never done it or do not do it so well. First of all, don't do it. If you have already skipped this step, then allow me to be your guide to PRO 101, the introductory level of procrastinating. Procrastination is a fine art and is easily learned by even the most perfecting and preparing of students in any student body. All one really needs to do in order to be successful is take the old saying "Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today" and ignore it. Don't do it today unless you have to, that is what tomorrow is for. If a teacher wanted you to hand in the paper on Tuesday, she would not have assigned it to be handed in on Wednesday. It is that simple. With a few more suggestions, you, too, can be a fluent procrastinator! Now, here are a few more details that show how easy putting things off can be. You know that book you have due in two days? Well, start reading it at 10:30 the night before it is due, UNLESS it is a late afternoon class, say a 2 o'clock. In that case, you start reading the book at 10:30 on the morning that it is due, considering if you wake up that early. If you do not get up that early, begin reading the book just after you finish your bowl of CornPops and turn off The Price is Right. Bob Barker may have a book summary of YOUR book during the Showcase Showdown, you never know, so you just have to watch! There are plenty of television shows that you watched the night before that can help you with that quiz you also put off studying for, do not worry. All is good in PRO 101. Another good way to deal with homework and classes later is to hang out with your friends. You do not even have to be doing anything worthwhile, you can just simply lay around and watch paint dry. A better way to deal with this excess in time besides actually DOING your work, of course, concerns partying. It may be a Monday night but are there rules that say parties only happen on Thursday, Friday or Saturday? I think not! Party away, those math problems can wait a little longer, they have no where to be and you have that kegger at your neighbor's to attend. If your situation becomes really drastic and you can think of nothing to do, then you could always, and I hate to suggest this as a slob myself, clean your room. Besides, when you DO finally get around to doing your homework, you may want to use your desk and it might be nice if you could find it under the clothes. Cleaning is only to be used in an emergency situation. Technically, cleaning is work, but since it is not the act of doing school work, it is acceptable in PRO 101. Hey, unlike most of your professors, I will even accept late work. As your days dwindle away and you have an assignment looming, at least remember one thing from reading this column, if you remember nothing else. Procrastinarion is not a sin, as long as you know what you are doing. I want a full report next week on your improvements but do not expect it until December 1, 1999, if you are a good procrastinator. Class dismissed.