THE UGLY TRUTHSTER'S 2/27 UPDATE
Read the headline and remember it clones, 'cause after you read the results to tonight's WWF No Way Out PPV card, you may be scratching your empty little heads and wondering if Vinnie Mac has been spiking his Coca-Cola with Lysol like you idiots have been known to do now and again.
First off, my expert opinion was a damn good show, and this will open up even more intrigue to the show that will be the centerpiece of the hottest fed in the world. This card really had me wondering, 'cause honestly, if WM 2000 had this card it would have been well worth the dough. However you would have had to change the finishes a bit to make it worth the extra five bucks. Anyway, let's get into it.
Kurt Angle beat Chris Jericho in about 15 minutes to win the I-C Title. The finish came where Angle charged at CJ on the outside, but CJ ducked and Angle nailed Chyna into the ringsteps. The ref went to check on Chyna, while CJ had Angle reeling in the ring. The I-C Title was laying the ring from and aborted attempt from Angle to use it earlier. Jericho went for the Lionsault, but Angle pulled the belt up and nailed CJ with it as he came through with the Lionsault. The ref, Tim White, then recovered and counted the pin. New Champ. Angle walked off with both belts and proceeded to celebrate throughout the arena for the rest of the night.
Referee Earl Hebner came out to tell Tim White about the screwy finish, but White would hear none of it, even though the fans smelled reversal. Hebner and White seemed to have some genuine animosity in their exchange. Hold on to that. Honestly I thought Chyna would turn on Jericho or vice-versa, you'll see why they didn't later. Afterwards Jericho cut a good promo where he stated that if "Kirk Angel" didn't stop celebrating his tainted win then he would get a beating he would never eeeeeeeeeeever forget.
The Dudleys beat the New Age Outlaws in a surprising short and convincing match. Buh Buh Ray got a lead pipe and took out Mr. Ass' arm out the outside then Rehab Dogg was finished off with 3D for the Duds to take the belts. The Outlaws suck, and its good to get the belts floating around back in the super-hot tag team division instead of stuck in the main-event DX/Steph angle going nowhere around the waists of two no-talent mouthpieces. The Duds had good support from the Connecticut crowd. Nothing hardcore and no tables, I sensed that the undercard was toning it down to not upstage the top three matches on the card.
Mark Henry beat Viscera in an abortion of a match. Luckily I lost most of the match due to satellite difficulties. Not that I won't be bitching to Insight in the morning about it.
Edge and Christian beat the Hardy Boys to become the number one contenders for the tag team titles with an angle that was pretty obvious if you have half a brain, but since most of you clones don't, especially those OVW officials from seeing the booking on their shows, I'll spell it out.
Terri came back on Heat and said she would be back managing the Hardys. She went to the Acolytes and asked for protection since all she could see at night was tables. The Acolytes agreed when Terri said she had money. The Acolytes watched this match from the entryway without interfering. Hell, if you saw the top Terri was, or wasn't wearing, I woulda guarded her for a peek at those lucisous golden orbs. But I digress. . .
The match itself was pretty good, however it seemed they didn't kick it into that extra gear those four have when working together. You sensed this night was for HHH and Cactus workrate-wise, and deservedly so, but this was still a good match.
After a solid 12 or so minutes, Jeff Hardy went up for the senton bomb, but Terri pushed him off the top to the floor. Matt then gave the "What the hell?" look to Terri and was shoved her way, but Matt stopped. Terri slapped Matt, and Christian caught Matt in his backslide DDT finisher to get the win. The Hardys were flabbergasted, probably because they are athletically gifted pretty-boy airhead hicks, then Matt grabbed Terri by the hair to get an explanation. That was the cue for the Acolytes who were hired to protect Terri to protect her from her own team! Even though the angle was pretty obvious, it was pulled off well.
Afterwards Edge and Christian cut a promo where Christian didn't want to win that way, and Edge had the old "The Hardy's would have taken that win, so all that matters is that we are going to Wrestlemania for a shot at the tag belts!" Shades of the Sting/Lex Luger tag title angle in early 1996 that was abruptly dropped in favor of the nWo angle.
Tazz beat the Big Bossman with a quick DQ when Prince Albert ran-in. Albert and BBM beat the shit out of Tazz, but Tazz kept coming. They even broke the nightstick over his midget dome. The point was that Tazz is one bad MF'er. I had that point fed to me intravenously for three years by Paul Heyman, I didn't need five+ minutes of time I paid for to have it crammed down my yap again. This thing sucked, and it's pretty obvious the Tazz/Bossman & Albert handicap match will be at Rasslemania 2000.
X-Pac beat Kane in the No Holds Barred match that was pretty good. I expected a good match and got it. X-Pac got a basically clean win with no interference. This match reeked of the ECW Tommy Dreamer finish where Tommy gets his vengeance on the evil valet only to fall to the evil heel. Kane tombstoned Tori then picked up the steps. X-Pac nailed Kane with a drop-kick into the steps and the steps fell on top of Kane letting X-Pac get the pin.
The next match featured the surprise finish of the night as The Big Show beat The Rock to get the World Title shot at WM 2000. Shane McMahon made his return to the WWF on camera as he came out to mediate a ref dispute between Tim White and Earl Hebner who had gotten into it earlier in the show. Shane nailed the Rock with a chair as he went for the People's Elbow and TBS got the pin as Shane directed Tim White to get in there and count.
Seems like that sometimes Vince will pick up a recent WCW angle just to show them how much better they can do it. WCW had been farting around with a ref/ref feud between Mickey Jay and Mike Johnson with less than entertaining, hell, downright crappy results. I bet most of you clones didn't even know that. Anyway, I figure this angle between Hebner and White will be much better. Both guys have some personality, and there's a big question with Shane's return which should be answered in the weeks up to and through Wrestlemania.
Then it was time for what everyone was waiting for. Title vs. Career. Hell in a Cell. Mick Foley and HHH. Cliches aplenty from Oklahoma. . . ERRRRR. . . Jim Ross, and for once, they were right on the money. This match was great. The previous Hell and Cell matches always featured a participant that was somewhat of a liability. Undertaker was in the first three, throw Bossman into the third and you had the Truthster's pick for Worst Match of 1999.
This time you had two solid wrestlers who have proven can work together like nobody's business. Their match at the Royal Rumble could very well be the Match of 2000, anything else that happens this year be damned. They delivered, with nice twists along the way.
Foley had promised time and again that he would dive off the cage through HHH on a table, but they started in the ring and when the cage lowered, the door was solidly chained shut. When HHH ducked a Cactus toss of the ringsteps, it knocked out a portion of the cage fence. Then it got REALLY GOOD. Cactus dug out a barbed-wire 2X4 from behind the timekeeper's chair. HHH started out on top, and knocked Cactus off with the barbed-wire 2X4 and Mick did the Nestea Plunge off the side of the cage through a broadcast table, missing a monitor with his head by inches and banging his dome on a chair.
Mick got up and couldn't throw a chair to the top of the cage, so climbed up. He then lit the board on fire and nailed HHH with it. Cactus went to piledrive HHH on the flaming barbed-wire 2X4, but HHH backdropped Cactus through the top of the cage and THROUGH the ring. The ring was made to give way to cushion Mick's monster bump, but still it was one that only he and about 4 other guys would even dare to take. Mick got up from the bump, but was nailed with a Pedigree to take the loss.
So as the stip goes Cactus Jack and all of his gimmicks must now retire. If this is truly Mick Foley's swansong then my hat is off to you. I first caught Cactus Jack Manson in his days in World Class when my parents got one of those awesome satellite dishes with the chip that got everything, even XXX porno was beamed through that glorious dish.
I followed him to WCW back when it was damn good stuff. I got a chance to chat with Cactus after a house show in Huntsville, Alabama, shortly after his face turn in early 1993. He wrestled a tag match with Sting against Paul Orndorff and Vader. The guy was my favorite wrestler then and he was incredibly cool. Now that I think about it, all of the guys were. It wasn't one of these antiseptic shows in a 10,000 seat arena where you need three passes and a blowjob just to get into the back. The guys were mingling with the fans in this dingy old building that I didn't even know existed until I had bought my tix for the show. Even though I had been gallivanting around Huntsville for over ten years. Folks, Huntsville ain't that big.
Anyway, that show is still my favorite of all time, and I have seen several PPV's live, and some freakin' awesome indy action, almost entirely from IWA Mid-South, as well as an ECW Arena show. I still wear my Cactus Jack shirt with pride I purchased with student loan money. My wife always gives me grief on laundry day as I give her explicit instructions on how to cleanse "that damn Cactus Jack t-shirt".
I pride myself on acting professionally and with cool around wrestlers when dealing with them on a personal basis. I respect what they do and convey that to them without totally marking out, and do a pretty good job of it. However, if Cactus Jack's career is truly over, and it very well could be, you'll have to excuse me for a minute while I mark out.
Cactus Jack has been an institution in my wrestling fandom. I hopped on his bandwagon early and have watched as the rest of you clones have followed along. Mick if this is the end, then thanks for the memories.
Now, the No Way Out lowdown. This card was very good. I think the Rumble was a shade better, but this was well worth the jack, excuse the pun, and damn good. If this was Cactus Jack's last match, then he served his already legendary legacy better with his two hellacious bumps. If you saw Smackdown, Mick already said his goodbyes to the fans, and his final walk to a well-deserved standing ovation to the back would be plenty and a fitting end.
That being said, I stand by my statement last week. I CANNOT see Wrestlemania 2000 without Mick Foley as a part of it. Granted he may be the special referee for the main, but I see him wrestling for the title.
Remember a couple of things. While Shane McMahon is back as a full-fledged heel, Vince still is not. Rumors have leaked of "backstage heat" between Vince and Shane. That could just be rumor fodder for the internet marks to set-off another father-son feud.
HHH and Steph are just running the company in Vinnie Mac's absence. Vince can show up and right the company whenever he wants to jump off the legit-media circuit and back into "the game".
There could always be a hidden clause in the contract for the Hell in a Cell match. Remember, HHH explicitly said no "sharp-pointed objects" in the match, that could have something to do with it. Also remember that Cactus promised to leap off the cage onto HHH, and that didn't happen either.
Or maybe I'm just grasping at straws because I'm not letting it sink in that Cactus Jack has wrestled his last match. We'll see, five weeks is a long time with two major television shows a week for the WWF.
On that vein. If the stips hold, here is the card so far for WM 2000, HHH and The Big Show for the World Title, the least appealing of the four possibilities we were given for the main event. The Dudleys vs. Edge and Christian for the tag-titles. I would also look for a Kirk Angel/Jericho rematch, probably for both belts. Also pencil in a Tazz/Bossman and Prince Albert handicap match.
If you made me guess, I see the WM 2000 main event as a four-way or two matches leading to the world champion decision. I see Vinnie Mac throwing Cactus into the mix, or Cactus giving his farewell to the fans tomorrow on RAW, only to goad HHH into another match and taking the title. However, the house show bookings up to WM do not include Cactus and have HHH defending the World Title. Remember the "Card Subject to Change" fine language that WCW uses to avoid suit from angry fans on a daily basis.
I see The Rock beating Shane to get himself into the WM main event somehow. Either as a prelim match at WM or on RAW or Smackdown in the near future. I see the Hardys and Acolytes feuding up to WM with possibly a 3 Way Dance or Four Corners match with the tag belts ending up. That's the beauty of the WWF roster at this point. Just six months ago, the PPV main event was a 6 man match for the world title, and the undercard was shit because of it. Now they can load 12 men into two matches and still have a hot undercard.
Other news Masato Tanaka and Tommy Dreamer will win the ECW tag straps on TNN this Friday after Francine and Raven go full heel on Tommy. Expect James Vandenburg to manage them. Also, congrats to 2 Tuff Tony for picking up the IWA Mid-South heavyweight strap in a brutal Weapons Match this past Wednesday when he nailed Mad Man Pondo with a corkscrew plancha onto Pondo with fluorescent light tubes taped to his body. Also, expect Big Dick Dudley and indy sensation Christopher Daniels as well as some other big stuff to be in town for the big IWA TV taping and Extreme Heaven weekend coming up this weekend. (502) 569-1917 for details.
I'm out for now. I'll see you in five to seven days.