Quit yer cryin' and whinin' clones. It is I Cinderola, yo' godfather and news and opinionated rants you love. Or love to hate.

WCW's Superbrawl 2000 PPV was tonight, and guess from the title what the Ugly Truthster thought about it. Three hours of Cornette's warmed over OVW booking would have looked like Wrestlemania X compared to this crap.

The Artist Formerly Known as "Our Answer For Rocky Maivia" (e-mail if you need to know that history lesson clones) won the Cruiserweight belt over Lash "My Sideburns are from Rocky Maivia" LaRoux in a truly uninspired affair. Brian Knobbs regained the Hardcore Title from Bam Bam Bigelow in a equally tepid match.

The Wall pinned (yawn) The Demon, Kidman pinned Vampiro in a match that was supposed to save the card, but in reality seemed like was phoned in by both parties. If you had heard Kidman's unflattering comments about his current employer on the LAW internet talk show, you could understand. BTW, he reported he and Torrie Wilson are dating in real life. . . hell, I hope that bastard stays in WCW lashed to the mast of that sinking ship like Leo Dicaprio and Kate (Just One More Scone, Please) Winslett.

What else on that POS PPV? Oh yeah, Flair won Brawl for the Geritol over Funk in a Texas Death Match. I was hoping this one would deliver, but what can you really expect when the combined age of the two participants is almost 110?

Hogan pinned Luger, then Flair and Luger punked out Hogan, and then Sting came out to save Hogan. Gee, haven't seen that before. Y'know maybe I haven't, but it just seems like I have. Hell, like I give a rat's ass about WCW anymore. Sid retained the World Title WCW can't give away in a match that Scott Hall actually showed up for as well as Jeff Jarrett.

So Ugly Truthster, what was the best match of the show? I don't even know if you'll believe me if I told you, but that's why I make the big bucks and get the accolades while you clones sit drooling and reading in between downloading swimsuit pics of Cindy Margolis. The Tag Title stretcher match between the Marmadukes and David Sammartino ERRRRRR. . . Flair and Crowbar. I shit you not. This match was the only good match on the card, and therefore Match of the Night.

Kidman and Vamp phoned it in. Flair and Funk are too old to carry a good match beyond five minutes and they went 15-20. Those two matches were the only two with any hope of being mildly entertaining. So Devon and Flair's boy went out and stole the show along with Vito and Green Johnny or whatever the hell his name is. Of course, Vito and Crow carried the load, but the two rookies did OK when needed.

Don't get me wrong three matches on the Royal Rumble card as well as two on last month's ECW PPV blew away everything here. You clones, that were smart enough not to waste three hours of your life on this crap should know that whenever a match with David Flair is the best of the night, you're better off watching the Sopranos (which kicked major ass) and The Practice.

Oh yeah, James Brown was at the PPV as Ernest Miller's guest with a lame angle with the Maestro even though the crowd kinda dug it. And The Rowdy Scot, Roddy Piper came back in the main. . . as if anybody cared anymore. Big Mac. . . ERRRRR. . . Big T beat Booker when another fat black guy joined the New Harlem Heat, I think he was the guy who was 4X4 in the WHO'D WHO!!! No Limit Soldiers. Now THAT'S an angle I wanna see reprised! (see tongue firmly planted in cheek)

More great news for WCW (sarcastically) and Shane Douglas' attorneys (seriously). Apparently Scott Hall isn't even going to be suspended for his intoxication that kept him held over in Germany this past weekend. He worked the main of Superbrawl. Rumors spread earlier in the week that Hall may be done after SB, since WCW wanted to actually deliver the advertised main event for a change on a PPV, but after that was up in the air. It looks like Bill Busch realizes he may have to bring George "The Animal" Steele, Tito Santana and Jimmy Snuka in as full-timers if he keeps firing/suspending/releasing talent at his current clip.

Sting's appearance tonight may not mean he is back fulltime. He is reported as saying not only will he not come back until he likes the program in place for him but (BWAHAHAHA!!!!) the DIRECTION OF WCW! Ask for those release papers now, Stevie boy! It's clear that Bill Busch doesn't know thing one about running a wrestling company and the inmates are gonna be runnin' this asylum for the forseeable future.

Shane Douglas has turned his case over to his crack legal staff. This whole scenario shows you the true idocy of WCW. Yeah, Shane was probably the guy that ending up leading the Radicals out of Atlanta and right onto RAW, but after he realized not even Paul E. wanted Douglas on his ten-man roster, that he had better come a-crawlin' back. How did WCW reward this change of heart, by whacking Douglas!

All Douglas wanted to do was serve out his contract with WCW, then go back to teaching I guess. Instead, WCW dug up some fine print in his contract that allowed him to get released. Douglas is now probably going to sue by bringing up all of the selective enforcement of WCW as of late. Now that's a trial transcript I can't wait to read.

Kanyon also wants out, and has threatened to sue since everybody except Flair and Hogan has gotten their releases as of late. WCW doesn't want Kanyon going at least until after "Ready to Rumble's" two week run is over at the theaters since Kanyon was a big part of the flick. WWF would reportedly snap this guy up in five minutes. He's young and has some limitless untapped potential. Plus, could do a helluva shoot if he were on RAW when Ready to Rumble came out.

Add to the mix that it's a distinct possiblity that Bret Hart may have a situation close to Steve Young of the 49ers concussion wise and Goldberg may have permanent nerve damage in his arm and either may never wrestle again. DDP has back trouble, which is always dicey. Buff's neck is here and there, but is only being used for Saturday Night, and you can see why WCW is the equivalent of the late-1980's AWA. Thank God the WWF is as strong as it is right now, so there's some decent wrestling on the tube.

On that note, WWF's No Way Out is shaping up to be a totally hot card and the diametric opposite of Superbore. HHH and Cactus Jack will meet in the Hell in a Cell with the undertone that this could be Foley's last match. I don't see Jack not making Wrestlemania his last hurrah, but anything is possible. I just think this mini-Vince-Mick feud over Collette Foley's concern for Mick's welfare and the 20/20 piece is just an extra bit of hype in the media for this match, like it needed it.

The Rock and Big Slow will meet for the contender's spot at WM 2000. I have mixed feelings for this match and think basically there's not much with the Rock's style that he can do to make this match very interesting, and Slow is nothing more than a crappy backbreaker and a chokeslam. I hope this is short, and if you don't know who's gonna win, then I feel VERY sorry for your limited brainpower.

The New Age Outlaws will meet Those Damn Dudleys for the tag belts. This could be interesting. With DX as a stable running the show, the belts really need to be moved elsewhere to get some focus on the super-hot tag division, with no less than 10 teams as legitimate title threats. I see the Duds winning in a match were they carry the sorry Outlaws. Yeah I said the NAO were sorry, and they are. I hate watching them work.

Jericho will meet Kurt Angle in what could be a really good match. Both have elevated themselves, Angle more so as of late. The will of the fans has made Jericho the de facto face here, but at least his act is pretty much the same.

X-Pac and Kane will meet No Holds Barred. Could be good, Kane is really underrated, but expect mucho interference to make it look like X-Pac actually has a snowball's chance in hell of winning this match.

The Three Healthy Radicals will meet Too Cool and Rikishi Tuphat. Could be good, but damn doesn't Dean Malenko look tiny in the WWF? He's only about an inch taller than the top rope in the WWF. I swear Max Mini wasn't much shorter than Malenko.

The WWF is truly the unstoppable force against the incompetent object of WCW right now. I've always given WCW the benefit of the doubt until recently. Now watching their shows is just a chore to keep myself informed, and even then I find myself flipping about 20 minutes in just to keep myself awake until RAW starts. This past Monday was pure hell, but RAW was good enough to keep me awake way past my bedtime. Kinda like this update is doing.

Plugs. . . IWA Mid-south this Wednesday at The Creator's House of Hardcore in Charlestown, Indiana. Call (502) 569-1917 for more details. 2 Tuff Tony and Mad Man Pondo will do Double Tables for the IWA strap. Their last dueling tables match was a classic. Bad Breed and Suicide Kid will meet Corporal Robinson, Blaze and Terry Bull in a six man dogfight, plus four or more matches. Also Extreme Heaven is coming up soon, but call the hotline or e-mail Macdaddy Mike for all the details since the other dates escape me.