Taylor looked around the boys' room again and took a deep breath. Kevin had brought her home and was downstairs sitting in the living room. She held Chris' teddy bear close to her and sighed. She was stupid, so stupid, she couldn't get AJ's angry expression out of her head. She heard footsteps behind her, "Kevin, I told you I want to be alone."
"I'm not Kevin."
She spun around to see AJ standing there. "Oh..hi.."
"I didn't know you had left.."
"I couldn't...I just.."
"I know."
"How is he? Where's Nicky?"
"Nick's down with Kevin. Chris'll be fine, they're keeping him overnight.."
"Oh..thats..thats good..," She said looking at the floor.
"Taylor, look at me."
She looked up slowly at him and met his sunglass covered eyes. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried not to cry again, "I'm so sorry AJ.."
"I know you are.."
"No..what I did was inexcusable..I..I am stupid..I'm a stupid person and a bad mother and I should just go..," She said crying again.
AJ stepped into the room and put his hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her down. "No, you're not a bad mother and you're not stupid Taylor. I was just angry and scared and everything just boiled over..where is all this coming from?"
She shook her head, "He always told me I was stupid and bad.."
"Who?"
"My dad.."
"I thought-"
"That he left before I was born? I lied.."
"Oh Taylor..why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you had a miscarriage back in Nevada?"
She looked up at him, "You know??"
He nodded sadly, "Your doctor told me..why didn't you tell me Taylor?"
"I..I don't know..I was scared and upset..and just everything all at once.."
He hugged her tightly, "You could of told me..we're supposed to tell each other everything and anything.."
She started to cry harder and held onto him tighter, "I know I should of..I'm so sorry..for everything.."
"I'm sorry for yelling at you like that..I'm sorry for saying all that stuff..If I could take it all back I would baby..just please don't cry..please don't.."
"I'm sorry for hurting Chris.."
"It was an accident..don't blame yourself, okay?"
"You're not mad at me?"
"No, no..never Taylor.."
"Okay.."
The next day, Taylor and AJ were at the hospital getting ready to take Chris home. He was his normal, happy, hyper self again and looked and seemed as if nothing had happened. They drove home and decided to spend the afternoon out by the pool.
Taylor sat holding Nicholas on the edge of the pool swinging their feet in and out of the water while AJ was in the water with Chris as he splashed around. Taylor held Nicky under his arms and put him in the water. He squealed and kicked his feet making a big splash. Taylor laughed and pulled him up out of the water. He laughed and reached down again. "Taylor, look, he can swim!"
She looked over as AJ let Chris float around. He caught him before he went under and Chris just laughed. "Maybe he'll be a swimmer.."
"Maybe, ya never know."
"Thats true."
"What do you want to do for dinner?"
She shrugged, "I don't know..let's just order pizza..I have a craving for pizza."
"Okay..they'll make a mess of it."
"They make a mess out of everything.."
"Mess!!," Nicholas yelled happily.
They both laughed and got out of the pool and dried off.
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