First and Last Kiss Before Dying

by Catherine Bloom

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It hurt.

It hurt a lot.

“Ah!” Relena grunted as pain electrified every part of her body with each move she made. She couldn’t feel anything below her knees, and from what she was able to see that was a blessing.

Less than ten minutes ago she was having tea with several girls from her school at a small get together to plan a surprise party. They were nice girls, though the ‘Relena-sama’ bit was getting on her nerves.

The maid had just brought another plate of cookies when the rumbling started. A few of the girls ran from the room, while the rest followed Relena to the window. Seven mobile suits, Aries she thought, landed in the yard surrounding a rising Gundam.

Relena let out a shocked noise. Heero had been hiding virtually next to her.

The other girls let out blood curdling screams, some fainted, some ran; but Relena watched out the window as her knight in shining armor battled.

Then the crashing started.

An Aries fell backwards and, struck by a careless blow from Wing, crashed hard into the building.

Relena looked up in horror as the structure began to collapse onto her. The insulation began to fall, followed by the beams.

The beams… the beams smashed down inches from Relena making her fall to the ground as it shattered the window. She screamed. It was the only thing she could do as the building crumbled onto her.

Tears streamed from her eyes.

She tried to wipe them away ,but only streaked the brown mess of blood, tears, and dirt marring her cheek.

Oh, how it hurt; but she couldn’t die there. Not in a pile of rubble, bruised and bloody.

‘No,’ she thought in panic as she began to push at the restraining boards and beams that held her down. ‘I’m supposed to die old and peacefully in bed,’ she screamed in her mind as she added, ‘with Heero by my side.’

The board pinning her legs moved slightly, but it only increased the already mind numbing pain. Relena threw her head back and let out the cry of a wounded animal.

“No,” she heaved, holding back the pain as she forced her body to relax. Her only hope was rescue, and she knew that was doubtful. She could hear the battle still going on, though muffled, and search crews never came until the fighting was well over. She didn’t know if she had that long. “I’ll never have children.”

Her voice cracked as she tried to imagine the little ones pitter-pattering around in a panic to find the latest toy that caught their interest. Most likely the box some elaborate contraption that corporations told parents children would like.

She sat on the hearth watching the little boy toddle toward the box with a smile as she held a small plump little girl. The girl pulled at her hair as Relena turned to her husband…

“I’ll never get married,” she realized, cutting off the thoughts.

‘Oh Relena,’ her mother would have sighed with tears in her eyes as she adjusted the folds of the white dress. ‘My baby’s a woman.’

‘Mother,’ Relena dreamed, feeling the blush she would have felt. Her brother walked in with his own fiancée and smiled.

‘They’re ready,’ he would say.

Relena felt a smile creep across her face and fade, ‘I wish father had lived to be here.’

‘He is dear,’ her Mother would say. ‘He is.’

With that her brother would take her arm to escort her down the aisle, toward a man with dark hair, even unruly at this occasion, and deep cobalt eyes…

“I’m supposed to live,” she screamed as she pushed on the board above her. She felt well-manicured nails breaking one by one into jagged bits as blood pulsed from her fingertips. Splinters dug into her palms as she pressed harder. Her mind was deadened to the pain so she pressed harder, trying to move her legs for leverage, even though they would never move again.

“Please, if there is anyone up there,” she pleaded to an unknown patron, “I don’t want… I CAN’T die like this. Not here, not now!”

She screamed until she was hoarse and growing faint from lack of blood.

“My…my Mother,” she choked out in exhaustion as her hands dropped away. The sounds of battle had faded and she could hear silence on the other side of boards and beams that held her in place. “I’ll never see my Mother again.”

She remembered a nightmare, a very scary one about a monster, a fallen angel, eating her friends and her parents. She remembered running into her parent’s room, her Father gone on another trip, and jumping into the large bed. She remembered her Mother’s worried face as she curled up next to the older woman and wiped a teary and snotty face on silk nightclothes. She remembered gentle hands stroking hair and a calm voice cooing soft, comforting words to her until she fell asleep.

“Mother won’t have anyone,” she said with a pain in her chest that wasn’t physical. “Whoever you are, you’ve already taken my Father and my real parents, leave me!”

Her mind wandered again, unable to stay focused as everything threatened to fade away into black.

She hoped the other girls had gotten out all right, or at least were still alive. They would be fine without her. They would simply mourn for a bit and then attach themselves to the next popular rich girl. But that was okay.

Heero.

The name came to her mind unbidden, as the visions of the man waiting for her down the aisle and the father of her children cleared. Heero stood there, with the smile she had never seen, waiting for her.

“Heero,” she smiled as the name crossed her lips. She knew he was the one that completed her. She had been waiting for him since before they were both born. He was…was… she couldn’t remember anymore.

She could hear sound now. Someone was walking around above her. She let out a yelp as more pressure was added to the beam crushing her thigh.

“Relena?” a muffled voice queried.

Relena looked for the angel the voice must belong to as she smeared more murky blood over her forehead.

Hadn’t there been something besides an angel she’d wanted?

Oh yes, a rescue.

“Help,” she called weakly, using the last of her strength to pound on the board above her. “Help!”

There was a scraping above and a heaving as the weight shifted.

Relena closed her eyes for what she was sure was only a second, but when she opened them the last board was being lifted.

“Relena?” the strong male voice asked again as she felt hands on her shoulders.

Relena blinked.

It was the silhouette of a boy with rays of light spilling out around him.

“An angel?” she whispered as her vision cleared and she found it was Heero above her. “Heero.”

Heero pulled her free rather harshly eliciting a scream. She felt him wince in apology as he continued to excavate her more carefully.

‘Whoever’s legs those are should be taken to a doctor quickly,’ she said with some revulsion as she watched the boy pull out the white and red bruised things. A bone actually pierced the flesh at an odd angle and they twisted in impossible ways at the knees. Blood leaked from them making it hard to get a grip; they were horrid.

Heero’s arms were wrapped around her as he began pulling her from the rubble into the light of the setting sun.

It was nice there, in Heero’s arms, peaceful. There were no worries in the world, like the time they had danced together. Relena began to hum the same music they had danced to. Then her eyes caught sight of Wing.

She felt her heart flutter and stop.

It was the monster from the dream she’d had as a child. A fallen angel, brilliant and beautiful, but terrifying and destructive; it had hurt her and threatened to devour Heero’s soul every time he piloted.

It was a monster!

“Heero,” she said holding him with as much strength as her battered arms would allow. “It’ll eat you and hurt you, be careful. Don’t let it take your soul.”

“You’re hurt,” Heero said quietly, setting her down and forcefully removing her arms from around his neck. He was obviously not used to comforting anyone, he simply brushed blood caked bangs out of her eyes.

“I’m dying,” Relena said as tears began to run rivers through the murk on her face. “I’ll never get to live my life…I’ll never be kissed.”

She choked back a sob as she looked out to the reds, oranges, and pinks of sunset.

“It looked like this the day I found you,” she said quietly, “how fitting it looks the same when I lose you.”

Her eyes glared at Wing. The war-mongering monster that trapped Heero’s soul and threatened to destroy it. That’s why it had destroyed her. She knew that’s why it knocked the Aries into the building. To destroy the one person with enough patient and love to break its hold on Heero.

“Heero, please…kiss me. Just once, please,” Relena said, reaching out a hand to stroke his hair. Soft, just as she thought it would be. “I know I’m not beautiful now, and there’s blood all over but…”

Heero jumped away and looked as if he would say no. Relena’s face crumpled a bit. She knew love was about the only thing in the world that couldn’t be forced; but couldn’t he love her. Even if it was just for this minute, couldn’t he return the feelings?

Relena closed her eyes, as her head lolled back, her neck no longer able to support the weight.

A strong calloused hand hooked under it, pulling her up. Soft lips pressed against hers and she was lost in a sea of pure pleasure and joy that cut off far to soon.

Opening her eyes Relena forced a thankful smile as she caressed Heero’s cheek. Were those tears in his eyes?

“Thank you,” she smiled as the world began to fuzz and grow dark. She saw it all. Her marriage to Heero, the birth of their children, lying in bed peacefully.