South Park Biographys

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Eric Cartman: He is the "fat kid" the other kids constantly make fun of him because of his weight. He's also the stupid one, who mixes things up, and makes himself look like an idiot. he lives with his hermaphroditic mother, who tries to make him feel better by feeding him "choclate chicken pot pies" and "Cheezy Poofs". Eric owns a cat called Kitty and a pig named Fluffy. Throughout the year he searched to find out who his father was, only to realize that his mother was his father and his mother is unknown. When Officer Barbrady is fired for his illiteracy, he becomes Deputy Cartman, and he begins to enforce the law in South Park. Kyle Brofslovski: He is the smart one. Everyone makes fun of him because he is Jewish. At Christmas he plays with his "imaginary" friend Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo. He owns an elephant and has tried to mate it with Cartman's pig, Fluffy to form a new species of Pot-Bellied Elephants. Each week he announced that Kenny's killers are Bastards. Stan Marsh: He the normal, average-American, mixed-up kid. He dates Wendy Testaburger, but he throws up every time she talks to him. He is the South Park Elementary Cows star Quarterback, has a gay dog named Sparky, and an older sister named Shelly, who beats him senseless. His aging grandfather, also lives with him and continually tries to pressure Stan into killing him. Every episode he announces Kenny's death by saying "Oh my god, they killed Kenny!" Kenny McCormic: He is the unlucky one. He dies a differnet way in each episode. He is poor and lives in a run-down shack with his poor drunk family. He muffles when he speaks, and we are left only to guess at what he has said. Minor Characters Terence and Phillip:They are simply South Park's favorite cartoon character duo in which they seem confused and constantly fart either on eachother or just anywhere. These Canadian friends where origanily made By Trey Parker and Matt Stone because everybody thought "South Park" was just a bunch of swearing and farting so there you have it the story behind South Park's own Terence & Phillip Show. Also starred in there Very Own Episode "Not Without My Anus"(first episode of second season). Mr. Mackey:He is a strange-accented, large-headed School guidence counselor who is oftenly made fun of and imitated but never notices. Mr. Mackey also constantly Says " Mnkey " (okay) after about everything he says. Also, Once Mr. Mackey was informing the kids about drugs and acohol, he passed around a little bit of Marajuana around the room so the kids could now how it smelled, Mr. Garrison secretly took it and got high, Mr. Mackey got fired, Got banned from his house, did drugs and alcohol a lot, went to rehab and got rehired. Ike:he is Kyle's little brother. Ike is adopted. He is really Canadian, hence the moving head like Terrance and Philip. He is often mistaken for a garbage can. Kyle enjoys kicking Ike, but deep down inside he loves him and defends him. Catch Phrase: Don't kick the baby! Wendy:She is the little bitch of the kids. She hates anyone that tries to take Stan from her. Her best friend is Bebe, and she is going out with Stan. She is an enviornmentalist and according to Cartman a tree-hugger. Mr Garrison:He is the kids' 3rd grade teacher. He is semi-psycho and is rumored to be gay. He has an alter-ego that he expresses through the use of Mr. Hat (see below). During the second season he received a nose-job which made him look like David Hasselhoff, and he enjoys pretending that he is a Vietnam veteran. Lastly he mocks the children when they fail, partly because of his loss to Kathie Lee Gifford in a talent contest 25 years ago. Mr. Hat is Mr. Garrison's hand puppet that he uses to express his negative feelings. Mr. Hat makes Mr. Garrison do terrible things like attempt to kill Kathie Lee Gifford. During the second season he was kidnapped and Mr. Garrison replaced him with Mr. Twiggy. Mrs. Crabtree:She is the school bus driver. She is mean, ugly, foul tempered, and the children will occasionally cuss her out. Her  hearing is bad, and you will constantly hear her shout "What did you say?!!?" When she drove the bus off a cliff and into a river she left and became a star comedian. Chef:He is the school cafeteria's chef. He is a big influence on the children. He teaches them lessons in life and helps them out. He sings songs about sex to explain to the kids complicated situations. He is a womanizer who firmly belives in the existence of extraterrestrials (visitors). He coaches the school sports teams, and he led the dodgeball team to become World Dodgeball Champions. Uncle Jimbo:He is Stan's uncle who hosts a local television show called Huntin' & Killin'. His lifelong dream is to be on the cover of Guns & Ammo. He takes the children on a hunting trip where he reveals his passion for beer, explosives, and automatic weapons. He is also a Vietnam Veteran who tells the kids about how he eliminated the entire Viet Cong army with his lifelong buddy Ned. Ned is Jimbo's old war buddy who co-hoss Huntin' & Killin'. He blew his arm off with a grenade in Vietnam while helping to destroy the entire Viet Cong army. He also received throat cancer from smoking too many cigarettes and now must speak with the help of an electrolarynx (cancer kazoo) During the second season he was put into a catatonic state when he encountered the Mexican Staring Frog of Souther Sri Lanka. Mayor:She is the mayor of Southpark. She only cares about getting publicity, and her tries always make her look worse. She is a bad mayor, and her assistants make all the decisions for her. It is said she is affiliated with the Japenese Mafia. However, she is thorougly incompetant, and should not be in office. Jesus:Son of God. Has His own cable access TV show called "Jesus and Pals." He has beaten Satan in a fight, as well as Santa. When his ratings fell he changed the format of his show to that of Jerry Springer and started a ratings-war with Ned & Jimbo's show Huntin' & Killin' Mrs Cartman:She is always ready to feed Cartman. Helps Cartman reinforce the idea that he's big boned. She is a Hemaphrodite, so she is actually  Cartman's father. It is unknown who his mother is. But, she is known throughout town as a dirty-slut who has slept with he majority of the country. She has also appeared on the cover of Crack Whore Magazine. Mrs Marsh:She is Stan's Mother who tries to be a good mom. Little is known about her, but we do know that she doesn't like Kyle's Mom, Mrs. Broflovski (see below). Mrs Broslofski:She is Kyle's mom. She a bitch, plain and simple. She has something to say about everything. She ruined the towns Christmas by demanding everything related to Jesus or Santa be taken down. She also had Terrance and Phillip taken off the air. Shelly:She is Stan's sister. She wears headgear for her teeth, and beats the crap out of Stan. Although she doesn't like her litle brother, when he gets into trouble she sticks up for him and defends him, but in the end she still runs him over with a lawnmower. Pip:He is the annoying little English kid. He has no friends, and everybody makes fun of him. He is a wimp, but he is the town's star dodgeball player. He becomes enraged when called Frenchie, and he wound up with a cloned foot in his lunch. Officer Barbrady:He is the clueless police Officer. He is also the only police officer in South Park. He is illiterate and encourages the kids not to read because reading sucks. He is in town to "Patronize & Annoy", or so his car reads. As stupid as he is, he catches the Chicken Lover with he help of the kids and Deputy Cartman. Randy Marsh:He is Stan's father, and the town's seismologist. He warns the town of the emininet volcanic eruption.

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